How well do you take criticism?

i'm similar to you. i used to be really defensive initially thus, thus our quarrels at home always seemed to escalate it seemed. at that time, i knew of my faults but used to get defensive too as i used to feel he was really harsh. we had just gotten married and i didn't even know him well for god's sake. i used to hate him then. but after being a mother and all, i began to realise qualities in me that i never knew i had. good qualities of course. grins like you, i began to evaluate what he didn't really like about me and the things i did and tried to improve. thus it's much better now. it's not perfect of course, cos i have to admit, sometimes i can't help it. but it's definitely much better than before. i can take his criticisms telling myself that ok that was my fault. even if it wasn't, i'd keep quiet as i wouldn't want to blow the matter up. of course, in my heart, due to my anger, i'd be cursing him :) hehe but i learnt that people may criticize me; some who are really wanting me to be better for my own sake while some just want to put me down. i learn to take them in stride. oh yes, it hurts deep inside but i'm a forgetful person. hehe so it doesn't matter.

I have been known to get very defensive if I think the criticism was not just. But usualy I will leave it go, I often consider the source. If you know what I mean. If it is a person who is miserable and is not happy till most the people around them are miserable. But if the criticisim comes from someone I care about ouch, that can sting. There has been more then one time, that I had to say sorry for getting all defensive.

Well, i learned to accept criticism as a part of life... since for seven years i worked with people who made it a point to criticize others on a daily basis... at first my feeling get hurt... but then when one hears such words over and over again... eventhough it is not directed to him or herself...then one kinde becomes immune to it... Some people criticize because they themselves are insecure... but some do it because they are concern... but then i have no way of knowing if they are indeed insecure or concern...

To be frank, most people really ought not to think they are in a position to judge me. If they seem to be unclear on this, I would want to know their motives. Is it merely for the other person's self-aggrandizement or is the person trying to manipulate a situation to his or her own advantage? Why? Is it possible the person really wishes to be constructively helpful? Why? I get very analytic. Only after I've determined the reason is it time to determine what, if any, action is necessary or appropriate. I would not consider something a person said in jest appropriate if it hurt my feelings, though, because there are a lot of other things people can do to amuse themselves besides trying to pick away at someone else's self-esteem through the misuse of "humor." I'm not so sure that something being true excuses bad behavior either. As they used to say one can catch a lot more flies with honey that with vinegar. That doesn't just apply to us. It should apply to them too.

I must say that i have jumped to the defensive as well. I believe most of us humans do because we know that the person may be right, we just don't want to admit it. The truth can sting at times, however i too would sit alone by myself and ponder the statement that was made and admit to myself, "yeah, there right and i am wrong." And it's nothing being wrong sometimes because no one is always right.

Growing up I learned that people are going to always talk about you. They talk about the way you look, your clothes, how you walk or talk even your ethnicity. You have to have a strong backbone and let that stuff role off your back because if you let it bother you it will eventually be all you can think about and that will ruin your life.

i have been criticized at my worst before but generally i don't take it personal (usually) if i know that the person doesn't know me at all. I mean, if the person would criticize me in some facets of my life, i wouldn't take it as a negative because he/she doesn't know me at all anyway so generally there's no basis on believing entirely of what they say.

There are two types of criticism the way I see it, the first is constructive, where the criticism is not deemed personal and it's only a way of helping the person not make the same mistakes the next time, it will be said in a calm, cool way as an observation nothing more and the person is only trying to help and has your best interest at heart. The second is the worst one, it's when it's said cruelly and hurtfully and it an attack on your personal wellbeing, when the criticism is used as manipulation or the other person trying to control how you look, act, etc, a put you down if you like these types of criticism are unwanted and unwarranted because they can eat away at your self esteem. Look at the person who is criticising you, who are they to you, are they important, are they genuine with their criticism?

How I handle criticism depends upon how the criticism was delivered and the nature of the criticism. If the criticism is to help me better myself or become aware of something that needs correcting, and is delivered respectfully then I have no problem with accepting the criticism. However if the criticism is delivered with disrespect and is only done in an effort for the critizer to build their own self-esteem then I take issue with it and am fairly good at assertive retorts!

I think it depends very much on who is criticising me and whether it is justified! Much like you I used to jump to the offensive as a defence but now I take a moment to see if it is justified before going on the attack! lol,xxx

It depends on the way it is delivered. If someone is downright nasty about it, then I get upset. But if someone talks to me in a calm voice pointing something out to help me be better then no, I can handle it. I think it depends on their motive, if someone just wants to demean me and make me feel bad it does really bother me.

When I am being criticize, I used to listen to it. I would usually be quiet and let them convey their critics. If somebody is giving me a destructive critic and in face to face, I would just bow my head and listen, if I get hurt I show to them I cried but will not give comment against it until I would have the time to realize whether they are justly of giving me such critics. If ever I found their critics to be good and to be helpful, I do take an effort to change not to please them but more to improve myself on how I am being perceive by others. But the above mentioned does not follow when critics comes from relatives and friends. Normally when I receive critics from friends and relatives, I do get defensive but still think and reflect about it.

Constructive critism I can take very well but if it is a put down critism without having any basis, they just getting at me type of thing I tend to get annoyed, but like you will evaluate the why behind it before jumping to my defense. I try to look at the other persons perspective to understand where they are coming from with it but if I feel there comments are unjustified I will battle. Ellie :D

I do not take criticism well at all, I get hurt and upset and it stays with me for days. I can also be very defensive.

sometimes im defensive even im wrong, but we know that we make wrong, just set in one place i think about it, so your relationship will not ruin, becuse we know mis-understanding will show us to be broken heart.

it depends on who done it..if its family(members) then have to think if ever its true.. to accept and change if there is a need to..

I think yes age or time has an effect on how you deal with criticisms, I noticed that too when I tried comparing myself 10 years ago and today. I think time has made us a bit tougher by the year that pass by. We can accept more of it and be more critical of ourselves than get hurt easily when given criticisms.

I think it's human nature that when we are criticized we become defensive. However, it is important to contemplate and think of what has been said. There might be truth into it. Reality bites... big time! But this will help us become better individuals. When someone criticizes me and it is constructive, I appreciate it and make sure that I do something about it. But when I hear criticisms that are "destructive", I try my best to just shrug it off.

Growing up I learned that people are going to always talk about you. They talk about the way you look, your clothes, how you walk or talk even your ethnicity. You have to have a strong backbone and let that stuff role off your back because if you let it bother you it will eventually be all you can think about and that will ruin your life.

I think it is very circumstantial. Depends a lot on how it is delivered, and specially if it is wanted. I love drawing, and it bothers me when people give me pointers if I didnt ask for any. However, when I post pictures on deviantart, lets say, I am really looking forward to criticism. Generally speaking Im open minded. I am not too sensitive about myself, so I dont really care what others think. If I agree with it I try to improve, if I disagree I just let it be and forget about it.