i can't help falling in love with my elder brother

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i have a difficult problem which is too hard to solve. i can't help falling in love with my elder brother(not brother german). to tell the truth, he is not very handsome; and he is a little peevish----but in my eye he is perfect. i have just met him for three times: the first--when i was just 4 years old and he is three years oler than me; the second--8 years later; the third--in 2003 we went hiking together and had a nice time. it has been 4 years that i haven't seen him----he was studying in a very good university in Chongqing, China---also great grades; while i am only a senior school student. en~~~every day and night,even in dreams i am thinking of him, his face and shining smile---i can't ignore all of them. you must laugh at me---maybe i'm too infantility. i'm only a little girl who is very simple-minded,aren't i? i don't know whether it's love between a girl and a boy. i know it is not right.but i still can't control my feeling. how come..... i'm so crazy...