if you die first would you want your partner to find another partner?
By missbdoll
@missbdoll (1165)
Australia
February 16, 2008 3:55am CST
This is a very interesting question to me now.My partner died in September, and I not thinking about me, but I rember ages ago we had a discussion about his sister-inlaw saying about if she found another partner, if his brother went first. So she thought that was OK.
My partner expected that his sons would be supportive of me, there not.They have nothing to do with me.I doon't really have any life now apart from makiing money to keep going.I donn't have enough money left to go and do anything.I donn't drive so I have to use public transport, so I cann't aford that either, unless its for something I make money out of Most of my freinds are older than me and are just involved with there k families and donn't really go out or do anything that I can join in with.
On a pratical level my life has become so imposible to think that I will spend the rest of my life alone.The lonilnes is overwhelming, I think I'd go crazing apartt from tje fact that I donn't have time.
It's gpt so bad, do I spend another Christmas alone?Keep hurting myself trying to move boxes and things that heavy all I do is hurt myself.I cann't afford to pay handymen hourly rates just to help move stuff.
And I guess it got worse and made me think even more when I got sick a few weeks ago and suddenly thought "If something was really wrong there is no one to take care of, get me to the doctor or anything.
I"m sur my partner didn"t intent for my life to be this hard.
3 people like this
6 responses
@musicman6 (2407)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Definitely not, your partner did not intend for you to spend the rest of your life alone and struggling, and if he did he was wrong!
If it was me, I would want you to find someone else and be happy, and help you, and support you!
Don't depend on his sons to do anything for you, if they want to be jerks, let them be jerks by themselves!
You are the one that is important, and you should have your own life, and your own happiness now, and it's up to you to find it!
Some people are not meant to be alone, it's time now to be strong and reach out, and pull yourself up off the ground! With us here on myLot, we will support you, you have friends here that mean alot to you, more than you think, just ask!
1 person likes this
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
16 Feb 08
When you feel up to it I say get out and have a good time. If you find love it was meant to me and your partner might in some way have something to do with your finding love again if you believe things like that. Too bad your partners sons are being the way they are, I'm sure their father would not like that at all. Just get out when you feel up to it and maybe even if you don't feel up to it. If anything happened to me I would want my husband to keep on living and not stop just because I was not there any longer.
@foxygirle (376)
• Philippines
16 Feb 08
Its really hard to be left behind. If I do have to go first, I would allow my husband to find his partner and not limit him to be alone. He does deserve to be happy. And so do you. Why torture yourself, life is hard as it is and its not good to be alone. Don't make your life miserable. Atleast go our and find a friend if not a partner. Someone who you could share and unload your heavy burden.
@mich_23 (120)
• Philippines
16 Feb 08
Nobody wants to be alone. It's never another person's business to decide for you and what would make you happy. I dont understand their point in prohibiting you from seeing or being with somebody aside from your partner. He may have passed away and beig with soemone new does not mean anything against your previous partner. I'm sure he would understand. Just go with what will make you happy
@tirthasharma (73)
• India
16 Feb 08
Dear missbdoll, I can't exactly feel the magnitude of your pain but I do understand the situation is very tough. I really appreciate the kind of courage you have shown. It's your life and I think you are the only one who can take control. If someone is not supportive to you, don't bother about them. We came alone and we would die likewise. At this level I think you should first concentrate on your career and it's nothing bad if you on the way you would get along well with someone because the whole thought of being all alone is actually terrifying. I think you should get engaged, your partner surely would have wanted you to do same. It's like when we love someone, we would never want that person to be sad even when we are gone. Isn't it? So, don't bother about anyone else and listen to your heart as it is said that our heart always shows us the right path. And develop some hobbies to keep yourself busy. there is so much to do,just look around. You may face some challenges in starting but don't give up. God is always with you with his best plans. So, Take Care.. keep Smiling and NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!!
