InSeCuRiTY
By deadraven999
@deadraven999 (1386)
Saudi Arabia
February 17, 2008 5:36am CST
I am at work, I feel I am not in the mood to do anything, I've got loads of things to attend to but just can't concentrate, I kind of feel my mind is blocked, it isn't boredom, it is not about being busy (although I am very lately) It is something else.
So many things have been going on lately with me, despite, the fact that I tried to prioritize and organize them but it is just there's so much going on. A lot of issues to be handled, issues which are real annoying and disturbing, whether, private issues or work-related issues. See it is not just about being overloaded or busy if you know what I'm talking about. It is what they call the feel of insecurity. The hardest thing is when you're supposed to make people around you and people you're responsible for feel secured even if you're not feeling so, what a complex equation this is.
That's why I have just initiated this discussion, just to share it with you guys. I mean probably most of you, passed through similar experience one way or another, you can share it here with me if you want.
7 responses
@Tetchie (2932)
• Australia
18 Feb 08
Insecurity and/or procrastination. Putting off what needs to be done, sometimes due to a feeling of insecurity that what is to be done will not be done correctly. I have been a doer all my life and the taker of responsibility. It's a given that I can take charge and get the job done. Reliable, responsible. I used to do this without question until I found the sense of ME was missing. I was not being fulfilled by all this doing for everyone else. Gradually I seem to have run out of puff, some part of me is rebelling. A previous subconscious (now conscious) realisation that what I've been doing doesn't seem to have a been for my good but the good of everyone else. I think that in the past that used to be okay, but now I don't want to do it anymore. My insecurity comes more from not stepping outside the square I've lived in. A sense of lack of self esteem also that I may not be able to achieve successfully. Life's a work in progress, I'll soldier on anyway!
1 person likes this
@Tetchie (2932)
• Australia
18 Feb 08
You're right too, it is not simple. It's darn hard to break through some times. It's like a brick wall in the mind that stops you from acting the way you would really like to. What makes one person insecure can be totally illogical to another person. It's relative to upbringing and life experience. Making changes to some people is like climbing Mt. Everest. Making changes where there is a strong cultural meme is three times more difficult too.
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
18 Feb 08
It is remarkable you had the courage to make the right decision, it is never too late as they say. You are damn right, the insecurity can be overcome, if we broke the barriers and got free from those chains. It is not really that simple. Situation is not impossible but how difficult and hard it is, varies from one person to another and from one case to another.
Very much thank you for your valuable response, your presence always makes a difference here .....
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
20 Feb 08
Hi Techie, I really loved it when you said: What makes one person insecure can be totally illogical to another person. You are right, that's why, we have to be real careful when choosing the person with whom we share our problem, some people may listen but they may not understand, and desptire the good intention, they could make you feel worse. This insecurity thing isn't easy to deal with. It is scary. I am glad you're around and i'm real happy seeing your words here. Thanks my dear friend.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
18 Feb 08
Thanks a lot for this discussion.
i must say i was going to staert similar discussion as i am exactly in similar mood now.
I also can't concentrate on my work that much.
still i am doing it.
its due to my family issue.
I am very very worried about my dad's biopsy report to be get on friday and consult the doctor then only.
There is no one who can guide me. I ahve to face all those things.
I am praying to God whenever I am getting time so taht the report comes negative.
Again in office they are pressurizing me to travel to capetown. I think i just can't do so now.
pls pray for me as well.
1 person likes this
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
18 Feb 08
May the Lord bless you and bless your dad, hope that feedback of medical report reveals that everything is okey with your father. Try to explain to your boss your situation with your dad, maybe he'll understand. I understand the suffering you're passing through and hopefully your dad will always be there to guide you and we here in myLot are willing to support you with whatever we can and the most important thing, I pray, may Almight Lord, guide you and relieve your body and soul.
Thanx a lot for your participation.
@MorningDew (833)
• Saudi Arabia
18 Feb 08
Dear friend DeadRaven,
Insecurity is the worst feeling ever.. unfortunately we all have to go through it whether in our relationships or at work -both are like hell-...
But in your situation as I understood from your post, you have to make others feel secure..
I think the best thing is to give enough time, effort and trust so others feel they matter to you and you'll be there for them... even if you don't have time sometimes a smile, a nice word, a small gift is more than enough when you can't give more than that...
Wish you the best :)
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
18 Feb 08
Hi there ....
I usually answer replies in order but I jumped to your response here coz I read something that in my point view required an immediate comment from my side.
What you said about putting the effort and the time for the people around and the advice regarding 'smile' and 'gifts' I mean, that is already taken care of and done.
What I meant is eventhough you're doing all of this but it is difficult coz for various reasons you don't feel security from inside. The breakdown of 'why I don't feel that way' is a bit complicated and for me to reveal it 2 someone?! i guess it requires a person who would really be (patient) and (so much understanding). Unfortunately people like that are few these days.
Thank you for your response and effort.
@MorningDew (833)
• Saudi Arabia
20 Feb 08
mmmm... I think if you did all it needs, then the best thing is to talk to the person who is insecure..
Ask him/her about the reasons..
Why he/she is insecure
What are the things you are doing that is causing this feeling
What can you do to prove your love, loyalty... etc.
Only when you understand the problem you can solve it...
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
17 Feb 08
I am going through practically the same thing that you are going through right now. I have some personal issues that simply can't get into the way of my work. You are right, the hardest thing is when you are supposed to make people around you and people you are responsible for feel secured even if you are not.. I teach in college and students can easily sense when their teacher is not at ease and they can get affected in one way or another. I try my very best to be as positive as I can be despite all those things going on in my head. I hope you get through it my friend. God Bless!
1 person likes this
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
18 Feb 08
I guess we have some identical situation here, this is not an easy problem to deal with, getting through it is not simple, especially that the circle around you, or the people around you, feel the reflection of the problem on you and probably in many cases, they're not helping much. The reason is they either don't care, or they want 2 help but they don't know how. Thanx for your valuable response and hope you accept my add.
@Petercheung (681)
• China
18 Feb 08
You are right,Right now i have the same situation as you,I am at work,but don't know what to do,I dont have any clues here,and also I did not get the relevant payment from our company,So I am not happy with it,I thought to quit.well I think I should have a travelling to relax myself.I believe that I can handle this problem.good luck!
1 person likes this
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
18 Feb 08
My friend I wish you good luck, hope payment problem in your company will be soon resolved. Thanks for your response.
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
17 Feb 08
You must be feeling terrible. I went through a similar experience last year and ended up leaving a job that I had worked 31 years in (at different levels) and where I had achieved very senior level. We were taken over by another organisation and they started to change everything that we had worked for. They told none of us what was happening (I didn't speak to the new President for 6 months) he wouldn't return my calls and we worked in different locations. As a result none of my team learnt anything, because I couldn't tell them anything. I ended up sick and after another 6 months I quit in November. I am (a lot) poorer financially now, but am so pleased to be out. I have realised that there is a life out there and that we are part of it too. Take care.
1 person likes this
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
18 Feb 08
Feeling insecured because of your job is really a bad thing, and my friend, you passed through some tough experience there, I hope things get better with you, thank you very much for your response.
@silver_shaddow (1204)
•
4 Mar 08
you need a LONG vacation..from EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING. Work, family, internet, the whole package. prepare for it and seriously, take some time off, book a flight to a resort island and stay there. rediscover yourself. this is a journy of isolation everyone has to go through. you feel refreshed and by then you can handle things. right now i dont see you on top of things.
Trust me...
@deadraven999 (1386)
• Saudi Arabia
8 Mar 08
I am glad seeing you again here, long time no see, thank you for the support and for what you've proposed but things sometimes are a bit complicated than they sound or seem to be. We can't reveal everything here. I understand the point that sometimes we have to get away for awhile in order for us to think right but for me, it may cure the symptoms not the core, I really don't know, i am in the middle of of a complicated situation that i just hope it passes safely!! da^n. I repeated the the word 'complicated' twice in the same paragraph, see even my language is going down the drain
Thank you for the support.
