When you close your eyes, what do you see?

Tweet

A few years ago I learned meditation, and practiced it regularly for a time. I don't do it formally anymore, mainly because I have read some works strongly suggesting that one should be under the watchful eye of a spiritual teacher or, in the case of relaxation technique, a psychologist. One work suggest that meditation was never really for relaxation in and of itself, it is just a by-product — the actual goal meditation was made for is for spiritual growth. One incident that comes to mind was when I was meditating in direct sunlight. I kept seeing a white circle that expanded into a ring, and by the time it left my vision it felt like a wave of energy was pouring over me. Then another circle would appear, and this kept happening every two or three seconds. I didn't realize that I was tiring, not until I stopped and went back to work - I wasn't refreshed at all, but wanted to go to sleep. Then there was the time I had a normal session, when suddenly a giant eye filled my vision, staring at me. It was so sudden and vivid that it knocked me to the floor. So I don't do meditation anymore, but sometimes I like to close my eyes and see what visions come. Most of the time it is animated geometrical shapes, lines moving this way and that, or different areas of color in one corner, or in the middle. But when I am very tired, I can still have some pretty intense hallucinations. Fortunately I recognize them as such, and though they can be just as intense, I know they exist in my mind. The most intense one was one that I had that I did not have to close my eyes to see - I finally decided to go to bed, and there, between the bed and the door, very close to the ceiling, was a human form. It wasn't a shadow on the ceiling or wall, it was my first three-dimensional illusion in space with my eyes wide open. Like all my human form hallucinations, I can't focus on details - the face keeps changing several times a second. But could tell the head, torso, arms and legs - and it was just floating there, not moving. I tried to concentrate on hearing a sound, but to no avail. But most of the times, when I am tired, I do have to close my eyes to see more complicated visions, usually faces that change several times a second (my first time, I couldn't see two eyes - it would just change one eye in the middle of the forehead - that was really weird ...) Last night though finally went to bed attempting the last update of Mac OS X - I have eight hours to go now, according to the window here - I saw a child on his (her?) back playing with some kind of large insect on his/her chest - sometimes it looked like they were struggling in a puddle of mud. So, comment on meditation if you like, but what I really want to know is - what do you see when you close your eyes? Do you really see blackness? Or just one color? look closer - what do you really see?