ADVICE for me plz

I would have to say that the thoughts that you are having are normal if you haven't gone out like this since you have been with your fiance. Just if you really love him then try not to do anything that you will regret. And you can always look and not touch and if you touch don't enjoy it and if you enjoy it just keep it to yourself lol.

Hi there! Don't know if I'll help you out or not, but I think what your feeling is really normal. I've often felt the same way. If you feel really strong about this, maybe you should put your marriage on hold for awhile, just to make sure. I know you love him, but like you said, maybe there is someone else out there for you. Maybe you should pray about this, God will help you make your decission. :o) Good luck to you, I'll say a lil'-prayer for you.

Hello libertarianfreedom21,I think you are not the only one who thinks like this,all I can tell you sooner or later everybody needs a solid platform in life,if your relationship with your fiance is very much friendly and if both of you understand each other well enough I dont think your freedom or wishes will face some problems in future,talk to your fiance about every aspects as much details as possible to avoid any misunderstanding in future, he is your friend so start a frank discussion and I wish you best of luck. Thanks

Actually you are still single, you are not married yet, just engaged and it does seem like the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. There is also temptations creeping in and also you seem to remember all the good things, those guys hitting on you, and I suppose you did go a bit far, but what you forget, is when they saw someone nicer than you, when they did not telephone you even if they promised. So what you are having is just partial dreams of the past and forgetting the bad things that happened before you met your true love.

Several people here have said exactly what came to my own mind when I read your discussion. That you are not ready to settle down with this man. I cannot too strongly agree that since you ask our advice you should consider what we say most seriously and WAIT before marrying. It is much easier to get hitched than unhitched and waiting destroys fewer lives in the process. I carefully read each reply you gave the ones who cautioned you to wait, and the more you say you really love him and didn't quite mean it the way it sounded the more strongly I believe you need to shift into slow gear on this proposed marriage. The feelings you have are not unusual for a young lady, but they do signal however subtly that there is something missing in your relationship with this particular man that you need and if it is missing now before you are married, it is highly unlikely to appear out of nowhere afterwards. Think hard and long with your head and not your emotions before continuing, please, as life is long and there are many other fish in the sea.

I don't know..really i mean i guess that it is normal to jus wonder things...but I think that you really need to sit down and think about all of this and decide what you really want to do before you get married.because once you put that ring on..its alot of trouble going through a divorce...incase you decide that you don't want it anymore...so just think things through and i'm sure that you will come up with the right decision...just go with what you wan to do..not what everyone else wants you to do..thats most important

i guess its just normal...your still single(but engaged) and have the right to think of "what if "..and you will find out all the answers if youre going with them and find out...

First of all, what you're feeling is perfectly normal for most people some of the time but my question before I can give you any advice is, do you have these feelings often or just once in awhile, such as when they're triggered by spending time with friends or relatives that are "free"? Since you're not married I'd advise that before you get married you make sure you really do want to be with your fiance "forever" with all that goes with that commitment. I have no problem with you saying you wonder what it would be like to be single again, to be able to do what you please, with whom you please - we all go through those feelings, even if we've been married for years and would never ever cheat on or trade our spouses; however, in all honestly when you said, "I wonder if there is someone even better for me out there", that gave me pause. So, my advice to you is to just be sure what you want and how you feel before getting married. Also, don't beat yourself up or feel guilty about the very natural and normal feelings you sometimes have. Annie

Good to know that I'm not alone feeling this way.Well,I have a boyfriend but my first love came back out of nowhere.I have loved him for he is perfect but he would never love me.I'm always hoping for a time when he'll love me too but in vain.Now,another opportunity came for me to love him again.I don't know if I should take it but I guess I have to leave our memories behind me.I'm satisfied with my current relationship anyway.But if destiny tells me that my first love is the one for me,good then.Listen to your heart but you also have to listen to what your mind says.

I don't know if it is normal or not but I think the same thoughts sometimes even though I have been with him for 15 years and don't want it to change. I think it is a case of the grass is always greener on the other side. Congrats on the upcoming wedding.

If you wonder about being single, it means you need change, or a new challenge, in your life. You are bored with your life and are trying to convince yourself, by saying how much you love your boyfriend, that you are happy. But you are not. When people get together they forget about natural evolution in their lives. We are forever growing, every day, week and month. So the person you were when you met your boyfriend is not the person you are now. You will always need new challenges and stimulation to be a whole person. Stop resisting that change and seek it. If you are not married, then the whole world is there for you to explore on your terms, not someone else's. If you do nothing about those feelings, you will regret it. Further down the line, when things are much worse, you will wish you had acted! Take note of those thoughts going round in your head. If you were truly happy and secure, they would not be there. Good luck.

Wow, do I ever know how you feel! How long have you and your fiance been dating? I just got engaged on Valentine's Day this year, so it's been a little over a month. My fiance and I have been together what will be four years this May. It's been so long that I've not been single that I've definitely thought about what it would be like again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a player or anything. I love my fiance so much and don't know what I'd do without him, but I've also wondered sometimes what it'd be like if things were different. I've also wondered if there's another better guy out there for me. I hate these thoughts sometimes because my fiance has done nothing but nice things for me. He'd give his life to save me. He'd do anything. I guess it's pretty normal to feel this way still, though, huh? I'm sorry you have these feelings, but I guess when it's almost time to "tie the knot," so to speak, maybe we tend to have cold feet! (LOL) My suggestion would be to spend time with your fiance to find out how you feel together and then do the things you want to do too. I don't know that I'd sleep around if I were you while you're engaged because that'd kind of be like doing something behind your fiance's back. I don't know. That might just ruin things. Spend time together and find out if there's really chemistry. Confirm what you already have together. If you find that you're not as compatible as you thought, maybe your thoughts are telling the truth; maybe you should be with someone else. You know your fiance best. You know how you two get along. Follow your heart. What you're feeling is completely normal. It makes me feel a lot better that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Good luck to you and your soon-to-be-spouse. I wish both of you the best. Thanks for posting this discussion.

may I know how long you know your man before the engangement ?

You know, you might be confused because there are lots of things you still wanna do and experience. But the thing is, at the end of the day, you still know where your heart belongs. There is only one person you love. Clubbing or flirting do not fall into the category of love. You just feel like doing it to have a great time. But just imagine spending the rest of your life with the person meant for you. That would be the greatest feeling... And what would you feel if your partner is thinking the same way? It's kinda unfair, right? Just focus on your fiance. I am sure there are many ways to appreciate and love about him, you won't be preoccupied in other things. Good luck!

I would take that as a warning sign. When I knew I was in love with my husband, I had no wonder of single life, or what it would be like to sleep with other people, and neither did he. We have our time together, and we have our time alone.

wondering if okay sometimes but if you are doing too much of it, you are going to have to sit down and decide if you want to be single or married, loving somebody and wanting to be married are two different things, before you get married make sure you are ready, you will be affecting two lives by your decision, make sure you make the right one.

I totally understand where you're coming from but these doubts are normal. You need to think about this very hard obviously if you really are not happy about the prospect of spending the rest of your life with one man (as we should all go into marriage expecting it to last our lifetime)! When you are out with your cousins and aunt at the clubs, think about how you feel when you're all flirting with guys. Do you really enjoy it? Or are you doing it to fit in with the rest of them? A bit of harmless flirting is ok, but where do you draw the line? At some chat? Or a kiss? Exhanging phone numbers? Slow dancing with a guy rubbing himself up against you in a sensuous manner? How would your fiance feel if he thought you were doing any of those things? How would you feel if he was out with his friends or male relatives doing the same thing? When I go out with my female friends without my husband and we go to bars or clubs (not that I do that very often), I see how my single friends behave and all the trauma they go through of "Should I give him my number?" or "What if he's only flirting with me cos he's drunk?" or "What if he's already married?" I think to myself "I'm so glad I don't have to go through all this stuff!" and I feel sad that he's not there with me to make me feel less like a spare wheel when everyone else is off flirting with guys... When you deep down know that the guy you're going to marry is THE guy for you then you will really not feel the need to flirt with other guys, it's flattering to be chatted up but if you're really committed to your fiance, you'll take it as a compliment but do nothing about it. By the way, getting married doesn't mean you can't fantasise about other guys but when you want to make those fantasies a reality is when it's a real problem. Good luck. x

it is completly normal to have these toughts you will always wonder if there is better and there is always better out there but its a matter of how much do you love the person you are with and how much does that person give you everything you need and if they don't give you what you need then you need to talk to them about it and let them know what you need there may be better out there but it might not be the better you want. its called the instant gratification wehn you search for something better thats what your searching for

You say that you love your fiance, libertarianfreedom, but what you should be asking yourself is whether that love is strong enough to stand the test of time. In life there are many kinds of love, but we should always seek to find someone who will be our true soul mate when it comes to settling down for a lifetime together. I'm only suggesting that your mind does not seem to be entirely made up.

Hi dear, I feel that you really need to think again. If not, you both will have troubled relationship. It is better that you both talk and discuss things and also give importance to his thoughts. Finally, what matters is that whether you and your partner is happy being together or not. Take care and all the best for your future.