Lost Loves Never Should Have Been Loved at All

I think you are correct in your perspective. Lost love gives so much of pain. at that point of time one thinks taht it was better not to fall in love tahn this pain. still peopel love when they know it can fall apart. May be its human psychology.

Yes it is definitely worth it :) Once you find the person that you actually stick with, you start to see how much you learned from those past relationships that didn't work out and you might even see how those ones weren't as special as you originally thought. You have to try in order to find the one person, so sometimes it means heartache along the way. Usually though, your heart is completely healed when you find the person you really can stay with.

I agree with you that the quote above is b/s.That person "loved" you and then leave you?I classify those people as users and they should go to hell!An ex is always an ex.Whatever the reason is,never come back to that evil person because you don't deserve to have your heart broken but you deserve to be happy with someone who will truly love you.

You don't realize it at the time but lost loves are lost for a reason. The reason being they weren't right for you to begin with. If I look back all the "pain" I went through wasn't really pain at all but at that time- my world was probably ending. I have found out recently what it's really about and until people find that one true love and the one that loves you back the same way, you won't realize that the "others" aren't worth your time being dwelled on. I would say that for me the "pain" or what I thought was pain was totally worth it..without the "others" I wouldn't know what is real..

i go by the saying... i feel being in love is the greatest feeling on this planet n evrybody must experience it atleast once in her lifetime.... it is worth all tht pain cause u ought to forget the hard times in the long run n u keep the cherished memories with u.. i will never regret loving someone because the feeling of love for five minutes is greater than an eternity of hurt..

The joy and enhancement of love is supposed to be more than any pain or grief. If grief was the predominant factor nobody would go for love. Love would be a permanently painfull thing. The joy and happiness is what motivates people and many find it.

I am a true believer that every things happens for a reason. I was with a guy for 3 years I thought he was the one long story short it did not work out I was really upset for about a month. Them I meat my husband which is the best man I have ever meet. He treats me like gold and has since the first day we went out. I honestly believe if it was not for my x I would not have meet my hubby.

It seems we learn more through pain than through pleasure. Without the pain of failed love, we would never learn the lessons we need to learn to make the REAL love relationship of our lives last. We all have to pay our "dues." If one doesn't learn to be loyal and compromise, so that both people can be happy and their best selves, no relationship will last. The payoff comes when we do find that special person and can experience the deeper love that comes only with time. That hormone/reproductive rush we experience in the first flush of love is not meant to last -- but is meant to grow beyond the belly-butterflies. Yes it's painful when the growth is stopped short. On the other hand . . . everything happens for a reason. If a lover has disappointed you or left you, chances are that any further relationship with this person would cause even greater pain down the road. Don't give up -- it's truly worth it!

My previous relationship was very painful for me, but I don't regret it. I see it as a learning experience so that hopefully my next relationship will be better.

I look back on some of my more painful relationships and have come to a conclusion. If it had not been for those people and those relationships then the one I have now would probably not be here and the things I know and appreciate now wouldn't either. If it were not for my ex, then I would have never met half the great people I've met and wouldn't be with my current. So yea that relationship sucked and I got hurt, but I got something good from it too. If you focus on the negitive of a situation then all you're going to notice is that, but I look at the positive of everything. Sure it hurt and it was bad but what did I learn from it, what did I get out of it, and has it made me a better person because of it? Those are the things you gotta ask and after answering those questions, ask now was it worth it? More often then not the answer is yes.

You seem to be in a mood today writing a million and one posts. LOL!! now on to the topic of discussion before I get a keyboard spanking. LOL!! I'm with you the jury is still out .. That's why I don't feel I can ever get married again hurt or at least one of the many reason and trust me there are just so many that I can't even begin down the list. Love is painful is it worth it? Not sure. I know that I felt it was worth it while going through the good part and when the bad parts hit I didn't feel it was so worth it.. It doesn't stop me from having a relationship or from loving it just makes me a lot more cautious in my decisions. LOL!! Have a nice day hun.

Oh my, what a question/statement! How can we ever grow without the pain from a relationship in whatever capacity it may have been? I have been in a few relationships in my time and being that each one has failed, it makes me wonder what exactly "I" am doing wrong. I would not, however, want them to not be there or have been. It is a very fine line to which we all feel the need to walk and being that it could possibly lead to a wonderful fulfillment that we all crave, then it is all worth the struggle and losses getting there. I find myself wanting that closenmess of another in my life and find that I do want others, but am afraid of that pain at times. Even when you are IN a relationship and it is working, it can still be painful, but that does NOT mean we don't learn and with that, it is still wonderful. The pain lets us know we are alive and living and trying and loving...What better way to go?!

I would have agreed with your opinion about it all being BS about 3 years ago. However I found someone that took away all the prior hurt of past relationships and made me wake up and look at the world differently. Its all the things in life that make you the person you are and the person you will become. Thats the bad and the good. Would I have preferred not to have my heart broken? Sure who wants that? But if it hadnt happened then there would be two people in this world missing out on the great relationship and company of two other people. I bear no hard feeling for my ex when it comes to the failure of our relationship anymore. Things happen for a reason..of that Im sure now. I wouldnt be married to the love of my life and have a beautiful son now. There are soo many bad things that happen and we dont realize that when they happen we use them to make ourselves stronger people. You cant see that when your heart is broken..All you can see is your pain and life crumbling around you. But one day when it doesnt hurt anymore and you have moved on you can look back and go Wow! That could have been much worse. My ex is happy in a new relationship and I wish him the best..Its that other old saying.."What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger".

I don't think it's worth it, not anymore. People are too fickle and heartless now days.

I completely get what you are asking and this is the exact question we ask ourselves when we are still grieving.The thing is that if we want to live a healthy life,we have a natural need to be loved ourselves so we have to put our heart on our sleeves and put ourselves out there.The only way we can avoid the pain of losing someone is to lock ourselves inside and speak to noone.What kind of life is that??

Yup....it is worth it but I see what you mean...i certainly have questioned it. I dated this one guy for years and to this day he still is a very good friend even tho we no longer are "together". He just moved on...his choice...not mine. At first it hurt so much that I could not even stand to be around him tho he insisted we still be friends. Out of respect for me....he gave me the space that I needed to get over him. I did and now we are best of friends. A part of me will always feel a twinge of jealousy when he talks of his girlfriend. I want to be her. Still, id rather be just his friend than nothing at all in his life. I can't imagine never having loved at all....yes it is better to have that thana never anything even for the heartache. I wouldn't change a thing.

Everything we do in our lives is 'worth it' simply because life is a journey and we start off very green, very inexperienced and rather ignorant of it then finish up very wise, resilient and much stronger for what we have to endure. Everything we experience along the way is designed to toughen us up. We cannot avoid pain and hurt no more than we can avoid pleasure because they are two sides of the same coin. Nature is about balance. If we only had pleasure, we would not be able to deal with the crises in our lives and if we had only pain, we would be very weak in health and fortitude. Everything we go through also teaches us something. The reason why some people suffer more pain from their relationships than others is because they tend to blame their partners for any disappointments and repeat the negative patterns in their behaviour with others down the line instead of reviewing what went wrong, learning the lessons from it and being an even better person for the next connection. Many people prefer to live in denial about their lives and so keep getting what they've always got. It is better to love than not at all simply because one has to go through pleasure to get to pain. Not loving might keep away the pain, but that is not living either as there would be no pleasure too, just a fossilised human being wallowing in their fear without any real feelings. Every experience in life has a purpose - to help us to be the best we can all round. When we resist experiences we remain stunted in our growth without exposure to the new challenges in life which are essential for our development and evolution. It doesn't take much to be an onlooker in life and do nothing. But the person who does nothing is usually nothing too, in fact rather insignificant, in the eyes of others.

I really found the love of my life now but I think its greate to mave many eksperiences so we can escape much sillyness we done with others. thats my oppinion Bente

to fall in love is a sign of weakness. if you wish to do so, then prepare to get to get hurt. lol. since it is loving and hurting are sometimes inevitable, the least thing to do is to at least make the experience worthwhile... however it's done. best of luck to those in love!

well, you cannot say ur heart "i don't love him/her". if you love, you love. if it brokes up and theres pain, say to yourself "i don't care", "it was nothing".. this way helps me to forget about every relationship i loose. and it really knocks away the pain and even memories.