When family members take advantage of you.

Okay, So if it was only my sister, i would have helped her eve if she does not work all her life and i can afford it.. but knowing she still has her husband and is not working and is living with you, of course they have to consider how your husband would think about it too. After all, you share your expenses with your husband. I think you should talk to your sister about it and ask her to at least tell her husband to find himself a decent job cause you can no longer help them if they will not help themselves get through each day. You have to protect your family's finances too. She is of right age and so is her husband, they should know that they cannot depend on you all the time.

Time to put the hard word down and let them know how you feel. Help them put a plan into action so that they can get going with their own lives and no longer have to rely on you. We had a friend of my husband and his fiance stay with us when they moved to DC. We layed down the law right at the start and encouraged them to look for an apartment and help out with the cleaning, cooking and groceries whenever they could. Instead of being here for the full month, they found a place within a week and moved the following. I was happy and so were they :)

They are definitely in need of the boot. If they are not wanting to do their fair share to help than they are expecting you to be mom and dad and since they are adults, tell them it is time for them to go. If there are children involved, I would suggest that you might do what you can to help until they get settled somewhere, but I would tell them they have a week, or 2 or whatever time limit you want to give them to either get it together and get work and to help you out around the house or they can find the homeless shelter. I had a sister stay with me but it was for a short time and she babysat for me and cooked and cleaned. My grown children have returned and stayed, too, but they each have realized that it is temporary and they know that it is not a "flop house" for them to sit on their butts while mom does everything for them. It's not easy to do but it's what they call "tough love", when you tell them it's time to do for themselves and you are done!

Clearly enough is already enough, hence the discussion. There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping a friend or family member, or even a stranger for that matter. But there comes a time when you are longer helping, you are enabling destructive behavior. I would start by talking to them about the situation. Sometimes people get comfortable and don't realize they are a burden and have worn out their welcome. If you have already tried this then apparently they need a bit of a push in the right direction. If this situation is becoming a problem for you financially or effecting your marriage than it is definitely time for them to go, willingly or not. I know she's your sister but you can not allow anyone to bring you down with them. It not fair to you or to your family.

borrowing money once in a while is o.k but it should not be a habit,he is not a kid to explain about the value of money,as hhe is getting everything from time to time he is taking the advantage of you ,make sure that you cut down the expenses one by one ,dont do it all of a sudden then he will get angry , once you do this see the result.

It sounds like you've done more than your share. It's time for you to issue an ultimatum. Give them XX number of days to either be moved out or to be working and contributing income. Then stick to what you say! You'll have to be firm and perhaps you'll need to get law enforcement to "help" them move out. I've let family live with me in the past, but I've always put a time limit on and stuck to it.

Enough would have been enough 7 months ago. I just went through this with my sister. Her and her 3 kids stayed with me for 5 days waiting for our dad to come get them to move in with him right after Christmas. I was so mad, stressed, and tired after those 5 days were over that I never ever want to see this woman again as long as I live. It is one thing to extend a helping hand but these people are just taking advantage of your generosity now. I would sit them down and have a talk with them. Tell them if they don't start helping out they are out.