What would be your first thought?
By arkaf61
@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
February 21, 2008 7:22am CST
I am very interested in how people react to things and why.It's something that always interested me - what makes people tick , what brings which reactions.
So here's a story. What I want to know is what would be the first thing coming to your mind after you read it. What "on impulse" conclusion would you reach.
SO the story goes like this:
YOu have your sister/brother in law living in the same apartment where you live as well. Actually her/his apartment is in the same floor but a different hallway.
Your relationship with him/her is very good and you enjoy talking to him/her.
You often go there, at any time, to chat or any other reason. Sometimes you go inside her/his apartment, sometimes you don't depending on the time you have. But you are used to have her/him open the door to you giving a full view of the living room behind it.
At the time of this story, your sister/brother in law partner is away. Will be away for about 2 weeks for something related with the job or family, doesn't really matter why, except that it is a legitimate reason.
One day during that time, you have something to ask him/her so you go over and knock on the door.He/she is home opens , answers your question and both of you engage in a few minutes of small talk, but you notice that even though she/he appears to be responding and talking to you comfortably as usual, he/she did not fully open the door, and kept it that way throughout your brief conversation.
You think about this while you go back to your apartment after your conversation.
What comes to your mind? Why did he/she not fully open the door? Would you even spend any time thinking about it? Would the question even come to your mind? If it did, what would you think happened? would you create a reason for it in your mind? What would be the first reason to pop into your mind? WOuld you maintain it after you had time to think better about it? WHat would you think happened?
Look forward to hear - read - your responses:)
3 people like this
16 responses
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
Personally I am not very observant and probably would not notice that the door was only partially open. But if I did notice there could be many reasons, some have already been mentioned.
1. The person is in a hurry and wants to get rid of you fast.
2. The person has to go to the bathroom badly.
3. The person has let the house go a mess and will only clean up before the partner comes back
4. The person is on the phone and told the caller to wait.
I probaably would not think there was something going on with another person because if you had a lover in your apartment and there was a knock at the door you would tell him/her to hide in the bedroom, in the bathroom, or any place else except in the living room which is on full view when you open the door.
2 people like this
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
Probably I would not think of the lover option at all. I would think that my visit at that moment was not welcome.
1 person likes this
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I'd think they were hiding something, and since the other partner was out of town, it would suggest maybe someone else was in the apartment with them.
And I'd also think they were not real bright, seeing as they know you're in the same building and see them often.
:)
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
Yes, I thought that there would be quite a few responses in that direction. My question to you is, what would make that be the first thought? Over for example the living room being messy, having something behind the door preventing it from open fully, being tired and feeling that maybe an almost closed door might give a hint that he/she wouldn't be able to talk for a long time, or any other possibility?
There really isn't any right or wrong and I am not judging your answer, just offering other perspectives.
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I wouldn't have thought of the other reasons mainly because the way you illustrated the story, it was totally out of the norm for that person to behave in that manner, and it was at the same time that the spouse was out of town.
The house being a mess isn't a reason to act differently, and if they didn't feel well or something, I believe they would have said so.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
Yes, that is what happened in the real story, the fact that the partner was away - had actually just left a few days back - influenced the perspectives.
So on top of personal experiences, things we witnessed, and expectations, there is one more influencing factor: what we know from the situation.
@floramwaters (1595)
• United States
21 Feb 08
The first then that would come to my mind is that some one else was in the apartment. It would drive me nuts till i found out. Knowing me I would make up a excuse to go back over their and get in the apartment( can I borrow some sugar milk anything). If he/she shut the door whent inside I would slightly push the door open to get a look in.
1 person likes this
@floramwaters (1595)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I don't know why it would be so important to me I guess maybe just because I am noicey. I just know that I would go crazy till I found out what was going on.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
Its a difficult question because these people are Family. If they were neighbors the question would be easier to answer. Family means life style, habits, preferences, pleasures, manners, all these things and more, that are so everyday you might never consider them at all but you would know without doubt, just by the manner and the feelings you had, as your family member stood in the half opened door.
I would know instantly because I have psychic connections to Family. Sorry I can't answer your Question.
@lolalolacherrycola (899)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I would possible think he was blocking my view. It could be he had someone in the apartment with him. However, if he seemed relaxed and not shook up, I don't know if that is it.
Perhaps it was something as simple as having a messy house.
For some reason or other, you must have had a gut feeling that something was off. You can come out and ask or let it go.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
21 Feb 08
Yes, a relaxed posture could give the impression that what was behind that door was not anything really serious.
ANd yes, the options would be ask or let it go. What would be your position? Would you feel you would need to ask or it wouldn't really matter so no need to ask?
@lolalolacherrycola (899)
• United States
21 Feb 08
oops, I made a typo..was meant to say I would possibly think...
Sorry!
1 person likes this
@wildcat180 (169)
• United States
21 Feb 08
It does suggest they're hiding something. What it is? Who knows? Could be a messy apartment, could be some other inconsequential "guilty" pleasure. I'm less inclined to think of cheating right off the bat. Unless it's a one room apartment and the other person had no where else to "hide". If you're normal habit is to chat at the door, she/he could have simply sent the other person to another room, knowing you wouldn't be coming in and you'd be none the wiser.
Did you ever find out what was going on?
1 person likes this
@wildcat180 (169)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I would be curious about it and would have asked why the door wasn't opened right away. But hey, "curiosity killed the cat"! LOL!
So, uh, are you going to tell us what was going on? :-)
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
22 Feb 08
"What comes to your mind? Why did he/she not fully open the door?"
LOL nothing would because if they behaviour was unusual (which that would be) I would just ask them what the hell is goin on? I'm just upfront like that...
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
22 Feb 08
However much you are comfortable with the brother in law your relationship with him is only second to your relationship with sister .Perhaps , he does not feel as comfortable as he is when in the presence of your sister.
I wholly agree with Natrak's viewpoint [whose comment I rated positive ]and not give a thought to this.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
21 Feb 08
My first reaction would be that the apartment is in a complete mess and feels embarrassed about it. Another reason is because he is busy and in a rush so its like saying, ok im here to answer your questions then I've got to go. If he opens the door that means he's inviting you to stay longer whether it be in the apartment or at the door and another thing would be he is hiding something or someone LOL
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
21 Feb 08
My first thought would be "Oh, how thoughtless of me, as I have obviously come at an inconvenient time!" I would not start worrying that something might be wrong (maybe he murdered his family and buried them under the kitchen floor but had not had time to clean up afterwards? maybe he has somebody else in there with him? maybe they had a fight and her eyes are red from crying so she told him don't let anyone in?) No, unless there was some reason, I would not think ANY of those thoughts. I would assume there were confidential papers out on the table or somebody wasn't dressed or they were just really busy with some private matter and did not wish to be interrupted. I would not give it another thought, but if it happened several times then probably I would e-mail or call before popping over the next time. But you must understand that I myself hardly ever open the door to pop-ins and am most disconcerted when people appear unannounced or even significantly ahead of schedule. I think that is a difference between us and as they say "Viva la difference!"
1 person likes this
@RowenaTheWitch (947)
• Italy
21 Feb 08
Well, first thought:
The way you've told the story I would think he's cheating on her :D. But maybe it's only because the house was untidy.
In reality maybe I wouldn't think of anything, I'm not good as a detective :D
1 person likes this
@jhl930 (3601)
• United States
21 Feb 08
I would defiently think that something was up and they were trying to hide something from me..because when my brother/sister was there with them they had no problem opening the door and now that their away...they don't completely open the door...therefore I would go back over to their appartment and ask if i could come in and if they said no...i'd ask why...and unless they had a really good reason I would ask what was up...and then I would do whatever I had to do to get to the bottom of things!
@darkhunter35 (23)
• United States
22 Feb 08
I wouldnt think anything of it unless you could completly tell that they were hiding something. Like if they acted nervous and tried to end the talking as quickly as possible. But other than that I would never think anything of it.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
22 Feb 08
I wouldn't even have realized that I couldn't see the living room. I do it often with my friends too...pop in and out of neighbour's apartments and they do the same with mine.
If I really did notice it, I would jokingly ask if she's hiding something in there or if the place is dirty and if that's why she isn't opening the door wider.
Then I'd take things from there.
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
22 Feb 08
first thing that comes to mind is that maybe they aren't comfortable with you being there without the other spouse being home as well. that maybe something could get out of hand and something bad could happen and would be devestating to the other person. just my first thought that popped in my head. some people are strange like that and feel more comfortable with their spouses home and don't want to cause problems with them being gone or cause any doubt in the other one's head for you being in there with the other not. who knows. anyways, God bless and very interesting discussion
