Why do still people leave their aged parents in Oldage Homes?

When I was growing up my Parents took turns looking after my Grandparents. They lived in, with us part of the year, and then my other Grandparents lived with us about 3 months of the year. My Grandparents were a real care because my Grandmother was Totally Blind and my Grandfather had Alzheimer's and would run away if he could. My other Grandparents were over both over 80 and needed special care too. My Mother had 4 kids. I was the oldest at 14 and the youngest sister was 5. I really don't know how my Parents Managed, and they were farmers too, and My Mother helped on the Farm. My Parents lived in town after they retired, and one day when they were both 90, my mom told me she just couldn't manage the house any more. Then she told me she had a room reserved in the Local Nursing Home. It was a double room so Dad could move in with her. They sold their house and moved into the Nursing Home. It was a well managed old-age Establishment, and there were about 100 residents. Right from the first day My Parents Loved living there. My Mom no longer had to do the cooking and cleaning. My Dad had lots of friends his own age to chat with. They listened to music and played cards.They had a fun time and both lived there happily for 5 years. They both Passed away at 95 and we were very very Happy that the Nursing Home was there for them.

That is why I am nice to my kids because one day one of them is going to be taking care of me :) But there are some people that have no families that never had kids who's spouses have passed away and they are truly alone in this world except for a few friends as old as they are. Where are these people to go if they didn't have old age homes for them when they can't care for themselves any longer? I agree that if you raised your children then they should be willing to take care of you when you are in your twilight years but I guess that is only if you raised them right.

I agree with you...in our country, homes for the aged are not that popular because we feel the need to take care of our parents ourselves instead of committing them to isntitutions for the aged. They feel abandoned and lonely and unloved once they are left in the homes for the aged. When my old parents were with us when they were still alive, never did we think of bringing them to institutions. I mean for us, that's not really appealing...it's still unacceptable. So as our way of making them feel loved and cared for, we make it a point to care for them....

All the parents want their children to be filial and would take care of them not only on the time of be bedriddren but also on the every single day. our parents love us and give their life to bring us up, but now, what do they see? i think no body work for 24 hours,so too busy is not the reason, like the songs sing, go back to look after your parents, at least chat with them at regular intervals.

It really depends on the situation. My Grandmother moved into a home. She has a hard time seeing, and needs extra help. If you're saying why are they ignored in a home, I don't know. If you're asking why send someone to a home, it may be medical or other issues that a person CAN'T handle. It may be that the situation is not well suited to taking in an older person. For example, my aunt lost a leg recently, and her sisters wanted her to move in with them. But one lives in the middle of nowhere, and the other has no way to accomidate a wheel chair. So it wasn't possible for her to move anywhere BUT a home.

Ive read your comments..they are interesting...im ever hopeful lol that one of my kids will help me out one day!!...but many years ago it was the done thing for the children to incorporate the older family into the family unit...and they were looked after within their own environment...thats fine and good...as long as the family can cope....My cousins have come to a standstill..their Mother...who they adore ..has been unwell for a good while..they have kept going with the situation...and not so long ago she moved into one of their houses...but now she needs more that they can provide...and they have had to look at the facilities provied by local nursing homes...this is the very last thing that either of them wante for Mum..but she has dementia...and is a danger to herself....so to keep her with them would be wrong....she has very little idea of where or who she is now....which is probably just as well..the idea of keeping your family together is a wonderful idea..but i think in these cases..its just not possible...but my cousins can at least know that they have done evrything possible to mske sure that their Mum has had a good life...which they can feel very proud of themselves for.

I think some people leave their aged parents in home for the aged because they are just too lazy to handle old people or shall we say take care to old people.

yeah i too wonder and worry about this fact that parents are being mistreated by their own children.... i have seen and heard many such situations and will never try it in my life at all...

My mother very recently passed away. As she reached the point that she could no longer care for herself, we all decided to do all we could to keep her from the nursing home. It was tough, to be sure, as we all had families of our own and jobs as well. We did it tho and none of us have any regrets and we feel better,knowing that we did all we could. She took her last breath with all of us standing by her. The people at Hospice whom we accepted the very minimal of help from told us it was very rare to see families pull together like this these days. how sad. Even our teens helped out. it was beautiful.

its tru now a days the youngsters are after money and comfor life so they ignore the old ones at home its not like the old people mess up the house , it is because fo their age they are not able to do the owrk thats it. when we are young we do mess up the house and it is our parents who clean the house they do not say anything or ignore us like how the kids are doing now. for example i have a 90 years old grandmother who stays in bangalore with her last son. since because she is old every one is scolding her and absuing her even her grandson is asking her when will u go i really feel like slapping him. i do not know why people are like this. they should realise that they will also one day become old and this will be repeated with them.god is there looking at everything .

Me personally, I could never leave my mother or my father in a nursing home. I would not only feel obligated to care for them, but also feel that it would be so meaning full to not only have them with me, but knowing that i was the one that was caring for them. I couldn't stick them in a home expecting someone else to care for them no matter how much of a sacrafice it would take on my part. they are my parents and they took care of me until i was 18, so why couldn't i take care of them? I definitely could and i definitely would. i would want to give as much care if not more than they gave me growing up. it's a respectable thing to do and i wouldn't have it any other way. anyways, you hear so many bad things about nursing homes these days. so much abuse is going on and these helpless older people can't even defend themselves against the people that are supposed to be nurturing and taking great care of them. it's really sad and upsets me to no end when i hear of these things happening. thanks for posting and God bless

Very good discussion to bring up and subject to talk about Cindrel. I'd like to start off by saying that I work in a Nursing home. As a matter of fact I work in 3 and one hospital. As a ceritified HCA I watch the elderly and alzheimer residents live day to day in these places. It's not that their children enjoy putting them in there in some cases, it's for the elder's safety. You're right about the elders being like kids, I agree with that completely. I think of it this way, if my parent was in the early stage of alzheimers or criticly crippled, or ill I wouldn't want them to live alone because there are more chances of them hurting themselves a lot worse then if they were under supervision. That's what we're there for, to make sure they are safe, have a balanced diet, keep their personal hygene maintained, be there for them when they need to talk, help them pick up the phone and so they can talk to their families if need be and give them the best on the last of their years of life. We notice after a couple years that we are the only family they have. A lot of families have told us just to call them after their relative pass away. Other elders have one or more members of their family visit them everyday or every week, or every second day, etc.... Some elders my not have any kids and these ones usually get one on one help with a volunteer that will come and sit with them through their meals or just for friendly visits and those volunteers love to do that. I know if I"m not able to take care of my mom I' will make damn sure that a facility will that is able to tend to her needs night and day and I think that's what a lot of other families do too. Except the ones that don't bother with them, which is sad.

At some sense you are right. But some seniors prefer to live in Oldage Homes. My parents are at their 60s. I want them to live me but they refused. They like to have their friends at their age and chat with them. If I was old enough, I prefer to live in Oldage Homes to. I don't want to bother my kids and I want my circle. So living in Oldage Homes is not a bad thing for the seniors.

I am somewhat indifferent as to whether or not this is an appropriate thing to do my parents never took in my grandparents they instead went to a nursing home. I will probably take mine in if it ever comes to that (well one of them anyways 90 year old divorced people probably won't get along to well then any better than now).