Mixed children famillies
By aminion
@aminion (129)
Canada
February 21, 2008 4:27pm CST
My partner and I both came into a relationship with our own children. Me with(2) Kalem and Alysha. and Him with (1)Madison. This is a big problem in our house he is so mean to my son Kalem who has ADHD and Facial Ticks, and he lets Madison his daughter get away with anything she wants. Madison was not with us when we first got together but her biological mother was a drug addict so we got Madison. Madison is a horrible child, abusive to my children, she lies cheats steals. Oh you name it. My children are very well behaved besides being kids. I do not know what to do? I have told him that he has to be nicer to my kids but he tries and then keeps going back to his old ways. He doesn't deal with her so I have to and so she hates me. In fact she is refusing to ask to be excused from the table because she wont' talk to me. so she is just sitting there. Her Dad will get home from work and he will talk to her and she will suck up to him and then I will just be the bad guy again. Does anyone have any ideas? Any stories they can share like mine. I don't want to keep feeling like I am the only one that dislikes my stepchild
2 people like this
4 responses
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
When your husband is not around, try getting some of this behaviour on recorded tape or on video, so he will know what you have to deal with when he is not around. That way she won't be able to get away with sucking up to him, because he'll know what's going on.
1 person likes this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
I suggest going to the kids' school(s), and talk to the guidance counselor and support staff there. Ask for references such as books on how to deal with blended families, videos, programs, and counseling services in your community. Ask for their help... they have a multitude of resources available. And since it is for the best interests of the children, I would think they would be more than willing to help in any way they can. :)
@aminion (129)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
My husband is very aware of her behaviour but does nothing about it. He feels sorry for her he says because he left her with her mother for so long. But I try to explain to him if he does nothing about it then he isn't any better. The poor child will grow up out of control. I went to my doctor to talk to him about it and how stressed I was asking if we could get her in for councilling. My doctor put me on anti-depressents and told me that most of how she is will probably be hereditary or a learned trait, and that there won't be anything we can do to change it. Now what the hell is that. How can stealling, lying and being violent be hereditary. I learned something new.
@ledouxs (64)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
I don't think you'll like what I have to say but I'm gonna give it ago anyway. I'm sure you love this man but you also love your kids and it sucks to have to choose between the two but if he can't be a man get over whatever issues he has with your son then you got to put your kids first and leave there is nothing that hurts more than your mothers boyfriend being mean to you and your mother not making a stand which I am sure you have tried.Your boyfriend is now the role model for your son think long term how will this affect your son in the long run will he be abusive will he find a women he loves with a child and also do the same thing to that child it's a vicious cycle but those who are close to us are the ones who influence us the most.. I am sorry if I have hurt or offended you in anyway but I am also a mother of two girls and my fiance has a son so I two have a step child and if he was mean to my oldest which is not his then I would pack both my girls and leave. And I'm sure he would also do the same.
@aminion (129)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
I dont think what you have to say is bad I totally agree, I keep telling this to him and this is why he tries for awhile. I left My sons father because he was abusive physically and mentally. I left him because I wanted something better for my son. Whenever I talk about leaving my son gets very upset and cries and cries yelling at me that he already lost one dad he doesn't want to loose another one. This puts me in a bad place because I dont want to keep hurting him. I don't want to make him cry. The problem is My husband wasn't like this to my kids until his daughter moved in with us. So it is causing resentment all around. How can I show him his lack of parenting is tearing us apart
@ledouxs (64)
• Canada
22 Feb 08
go stay with your parents or a friends for a couple days your son won't get hurt by this if it's just a couple days and if you decide to leave for good he'll start to get used to the idea of your husband not there and at the same time your husband will feel what it's like to live without you and he'll come crawling back and then you go back give it a while see how things are if they haven't changed then you know this man isn't man enough for you
