How do you tell someone you love them then ask for a pre-nuptiual agreement

For many years I said I'd never ask for a pre-nup nor agree to one; after all, how romantic is THAT??? That was quite easy for me to say since when I got married I was 17 and my husband was 18 so obviously we both came into the marriage with nothing - zero, zilch, NADA! However, as the years went by and I lost a bit of my romantic idealism I came to realize it makes no sense to NOT protect one's assets before marrying someone if one or both parties have even a small amount to protect! So I guess I'd have to say if my partner was "upset" at being requested to sign a pre-nuptial agreement I would be the one with reason to be even MORE upset! If I were to be in this situation at this point in my life I'd have not problem with signing this kind of agreement. That would surely require trust but how can you plan on marrying someone you don't trust? Annie

The only reason I may want to do it is to make sure my kids are going to have their part if anything happen with me. There are better ways to protect the estate than such agreement. I would probably think about and go around without asking anyone for such agreement.

in my experience, when my grandfather was about to marry a girl only 2 years older than me, we asked her to sign a pre-nup... stating that she has no privilege of handling any of our family's businesses and that whatever she gets after the marriage is hers... so its a fair share... guess what she had a fit!!! she cried and started to curse everyone in my family... and she told my grandpa to put their money in her bank account before they get married... so... what does that tell us... my grandpa almost had a heart attack, but then they went through with their wedding, without us of course...

I don't think pre-nups are very romantic but I bet someone like Paul McCartney sure as hell wished he'd done one before marrying whatsherface...! I bought my flat 14 years ago and got remarried 4 years ago. I've made mortgage payments on my property all of these years but didn't think I should get a pre-nup for my husband and me as I just don't think like that. Last year my husband spent £25,000 on refurbishing the flat with very little contribution from me. I didn't ask him to and he hasn't asked me to change the flat to both of our names. I don't even want to consider what would happen if we ever split because I can't imagine not being with him, but I do know people who were married for a short time and expected a lot when they split. I think it's ridiculous that people expect to take half of someone's money when they split up under any circumstances. When you hear of courts awarding millions in compensation to the wife of a rich man who was rich before he met her, you wonder would she ever have earnt those millions had she never met him? I think it's disgusting that women (or men in some cases) expect to get so much money for basically doing nothing!

when i get married with my husband,,i already have my own savings,,he said his money is mine and we have to share our money..but we dont have agreement..its a matter of love,respect, and trust.

to be honest ellie if it was me our love of course would have to be a two way thing for each other-when you love someone enough and they do you they should agree to a pre-nuptial agreement,afterall love isn't what you can gain from someone its about being with them and comitting your life to them-littleowl

Great topic ellie333! I have pretty much the exact opposite view of pretty much everyone that's responded so far. I would never ask the person I'm planning on marrying for a pre-nuptial agreement and I would be upset if they asked me for one. It would have nothing to do with money, either. I really could care less about that. For me, it would be a love and trust issue. If you truly love and trust someone, as well as mean and believe in the vows you'll be making on your wedding day, there is no need for a pre-nuptial agreement. While that may seem like an idealistic view, it really isn't. If people actually took the time to really get to know the person they're with and understand what a huge committment getting married is, there would be less divorce in this world. You shouldn't enter a marriage already planning for the divorce, which is exactly what a signing a pre-nuptial agreement is doing.

yeah....thats something hard to say but if the other person is practical enough then i dont think he/she will mind as it is not something against him/her...your thoughts are yours...so if he/she really loves or cares about you then should not mind...wassay

If you love someone....that should say it all. That means that you respect the other persons feelings, fears, and everything else that goes with love..asking for a prenuptiual agreement shouldn't be a problem. Not where I am concerned. I don't think it means distrust or anything else. I think it's smart and if I found someone who said they loved me and wanted a pre nuptiual agreement...it wouldn't be a problem as long as I retained what I had too before the marriage.

I suppose I'm a different type person so it would have been something that had been talked about long before we got engaged. I tend to put things right there on the line from the start, because I'm not about games or secrets. I'll let them know that I care for/love them and want this to progress into something more. However, being a realistic person I know that sometimes things don't always work out and something may happen down the road where we don't work out. In the event of something like that I want to have my butt covered and so although I want forever with them just in case it doesn't happen I want this signed so that there are no compliations as we go our seperate ways. If they can't handle that then I guess we don't need to be together.

That is really a tough question !! I would probably just tell Them I loved them and intended on being with this person for the rest of my life. I would mention the fact things don't always work out , so what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours. Then I would quickly explain to them that You never divorce the person you marry. If that was so, nobody would get divorced !! That is the best way I could, anyways....