I'm A Freaking Nervous Wreck!
By pyewacket
@pyewacket (43903)
United States
February 22, 2008 6:00pm CST
Okay your friend here, me, is a complete nervous wreck. No! Don't worry, nothing dire or drastic has happened to me...but...
As many of you know I'm a photographer, and from the years between 1980 to 1996 I was an actively and successfully published photographer. Well strange circumstances in my life intervened putting my career to a screeching halt...and no, don't ask, as I'd be writing a novel...but it was one of life's "wonderful" detours and setbacks.
Well even though the circumstance came into my life and ended my career at the time, I never lost hope of eventually going back to my work in a big way again. That detour/setback was to last ten years or so..still I never lost hope...well I AM stubborn. Well a few years ago, even though the circumstance hadn't changed or disappeared, I decided to make a go, of at least sending my portfolios out again...I was in for a rude awakening.
The photography world had changed so drastically...all due to the digital invention. Yes, some places did still actually accept 35mm film slides or 8x10 inch prints but more were only accepting the digital format and either as via email attachments, CD Photo Discs or would ask to see my website to view my work..uh, major problem, I had neither to offer.
Many things hampered me...I just plain didn't have the funds to race out and get a quality, professional type digital camera (kind of leaning for a Nikon) and didn't have the means to transform my 21,049 slides or estimated 15,000 black and white images into the digitized format as I was on SSI disability benefits...To transform my images I needed both a computer and film scanner..didn't have the funds for that either...So I was plain friggin' frustrated! Then fate in a way intervened....my mother passed away on August 27, 2006...she didn't have life insurance but I discovered there was a little money kicking around...most of it went to pay off her funeral costs, and other bills..what I had left over, I went for it and got my computer and film scanner and got it exactly on February 14, 2007.
Okay, so for a full year's time I have been scanning many of my photos..geez, not all yet...LOL..built up a fairly decent website to show off my work (actually have two sites)...BUT...I still hadn't really pursued going after the markets that might publish my work. Until now.
For the past few days (and nights) I've been looking through my Photographer's Market directory book and emailing places like crazy to find out if anyone is interested in using my work...I've gotten a few nibbles...yes, some places already emailed me back.
Not only have I been emailing places, but have sped up my scanning "schedule" especially my black and white photos..one company actually and only prefers black and white, which is why I've been a little bit absent here lately.
So just now, I sent my very first legitimate portfolio to a greeting card company...and I have to admit....I'M A NERVOUS WRECK!!! In fact I was a nervous wreck putting it together and also making a listing of my work sent to them.
Okay to make this a discussion...even though you KNOW you had qualifying skills and maybe a successful background of some work under your belt...when you decided to do something, like maybe go back to a certain type of work, were you a nervous wreck about it??I plan to make myself a nervous wreck all over again tomorrow and send another portfolio out...LOL
13 people like this
26 responses
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Send your positive thinking alone with all pictures.
Thinks happen only when you send your wish. You have to know for sure what exactly you want to accomplished by sending it out. Many times they are looking just for "wow factor" and many times they are looking for quality work.
Good luck,
HUGS!
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I do all of my work per contract, many times I have to hire other people. I have two business partners and we do much more than just photography.
I do a lot of models, weddings, entertainment and children photography.
For myself, black and white art photography.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
The one great advantage now with a computer, I can go to their websites to see what kind of photos they are looking for...a real help I think..so much different than the "old days" where it was hit or miss. I never asked (duh)..just what kind of photography do you do basically..you used to have your photo site listed on your page but see you took it off--commercial work?
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I always preferred black and white...that's why I was so happy I found a way to scan my black and white negatives.
2 people like this
@WhiteDoveLost (139)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Wow. I understand what you are going through, slightly. The only advice I have to tell you would be to take any kind of set back lightly right now. The market is really bad for anything that isn't wedding photography and such. Not to discourage you, but America is in a decline, people are spending less on things they don't see as necessary but things will pick up. My suggestion is if you have the stuff to do it, get into some digital. A lot of people still like film in that situation, sell it as a timeless, untouched, and it might go well. Well enough that you could buy a digital. It's a rough world in the digital field. Where in film days a film camera could only get so good, you didn't have to buy one and keep up to date with the market. Where as with digital, as soon as you buy the top of the line another comes around. The good thing with that, is they don't hold there value, looking online for a used digital camera that was at prime 2 years ago will be so much cheaper. No one really needs a digital camera that has enough megapixels to print out a size for a billboard, unless that's your job. Anyway. Just my two cents. I'm a photography major and we talk a lot about the market and such in my business/economics class.
5 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Well as I said, I have a film scanner to transform my images into the digital format...oh, and believe me I know the competition out there. What's kind of "ruined" the business of photography has been the "invention" of the microstock on-line photo agencies like iStockphoto...now anyone with a digital camera or at least the capability of uploading images to one of these sites can be a "photographer" whether truly professional or not...the market IS saturated with images..I also don't like the whole royalty free rights...most pros are against this as it's cheapened the art of photography...the closest to the old way photography rights were is Rights Managed which is what I'm aiming for...which was when I was actively selling my work could average $100 an image rather than earn 25-cents a hit on the microstock agencies...in fact..I'm actually writing an "e-book" about the whole thing of marketing images...LOL..so yes, I do know the business aspects of photography very well...but, what can I say? I'm stubborn, I'm persistent and despite the competition I'm still pursuing the market...
3 people like this
@WhiteDoveLost (139)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Oh, I never meant you shouldn't try. I hope you have all the luck in the world with getting back into the spin of this newer photography. But it is horribly sad how the market is turning and professional photographers are cheapened because everyone thinks they can do it.
Look at Nikon, when they released their new digital a few years back, they went to a small town, gave everyone a camera and told them to shoot away. They took the best ones (Mind you how many cameras they must have given out) and put them on a website to show off how ANYONE can get amazing photos. Yes, and if you gave 50 monkeys a camera on P mode they'd eventually come out with something interesting too.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Oh dear I'm the Queen of Lack of Confidence - I would be a total nervous wreck until I heard something. I do however have all the confidence in the world in you and am sure you will do wonderfully - if they don't want your work then they have no taste at all and don't deserve you working for them :)
5 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Well if they don't accept them...I'll just pester them and send more...LOL. Something's bound to hit sooner or later. Even in my heyday of getting my work published, I used to send a portfolio of at least 100 images...if ONE image was pick that was a good day. And like I said I'm going through that directory like crazy...I plan to go through my Writer's Market as well, as many literary magazines illustrate with photos as well.
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I can't imagine why you're so nervous, pyewacket(remember, I've seen some of your work). I'm betting that they will love your photography. I know you to be dedicated in all you do, plus you're smart and a hard worker. You should probably be worrying over all the things you want to spend the money on once it starts rolling in, lol. Seriously, I have great confidence in your ability to succeed at anything you undertake.
5 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Hehehe..yeah, maybe I should worry about whether I want to buy that 14.3 million license plate..LOL. Thanks ever for your vote of confidence in me....now I just have to get some myself..
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I guess you are nervous! It's been quite a while since you've been out in the working feild! Any new change in life is a nervous one whether it be good or bad. Try to think of it as an embarkment on a new life - again and take full advantage of it and have fun! Be yourself and true to yourself and you'll be just fine. Go for it!!
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Thank you CatsandDogs...oh, yes, it has been a long time, too long that I didn't do my work..and now I'm finally going for it..maybe the nervousness I'm feeling ISN'T nervousness but excitement..
2 people like this
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
23 Feb 08
Well from the looks of it, you are a good photographer and you should go for it again. Its really different when we do something that we like, with passion and when we are happy about it. I have been in situations such as yours and of course it is perfectly normal to be nervous. But thing is, I know you can overcome it since having knowledge in what you do will give us confidence. So just be patient and I'm sure everything will work out fine. The thing is, people will always stand out if you work on something that you love since you are not much after the money but rather doing it more out of passion. As you notice how many successful businesses started out as a hobby and later on came out to be the number one source of income. So leave the nervousness behind and I'm sure everything will turn out fine. Best regards.
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
What is that saying, think it was a book too, "Do What You Love, The Money Will Come" or some such thing like that?? You're right about those business men (and women) though. I really look up and admire some of the authors and participants of The Secret...Jack Canfield for instance is the one who started those Chicken Soul for the Soul books out of his love for writing...and wow, now he's a millionaire...LOL
I guess I'm just nervous too as now I'm really putting myself "out there" in the limelight...maybe by the tenth portfolio I put together I won't be as nervous..hehe
2 people like this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Is it excitement or fear or a little of both?
It's a little of both for me, writing and rewriting manuscripts and sending them out.
Have you considered getting with a grant writer at a nearby college and applying for a government grant to buy the equiptment that you need? With you being on SSI you may qualify for several grants to help get you back to work. Just a thought.
I wish you all the luck in the world! Here's to fulfilling your dreams!
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
You're right...it could be both excitement and fear at the same time. I've been actually trying for grants for the past three years...and some of the biggies...New York Foundation of the Arts, Aaron Siskind Foundation, Puffin Foundation, and yes, even the John Simon Guggenheim...and I do keep looking for more grant opportunities all the time.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160952)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Oh, Pye, I am so happy for you. I have from time to time taken a leap of faith, but it seems that when it has been the right thing, then there is a deep and abiding peace about the circumstances. I am missing that peace about some things right now, so I must be on the wrong track. If we go to your profile are there some links to your websites?
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I guess that is what is was with me...needing to just take a leap of faith and get things going in my life again...it's now or never, right? Both links to sites are on my page..under my avatar there is My Photo Gallery link which is my "old" tripod website...then scroll down and you'll see the words My Smugmug Website.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Thanks ever for the good luck...guess I'm nervous as when you think of it, it's my first real photographic "presentation" in years...LOL
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Ohh!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
I'm so excited for you!!!
I'm nervous anytime I start a new venture or job - even if it's familiar. Even when I was doing my school work I would be nuts when I sent in a project until I got it the results back.
I am totally sympathetic towards you and hope you nerves calm down :)
2 people like this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
24 Feb 08
I know about that too :) As a cheerleader it would be nerve racking before a competition! And once when I sung in front of my church my mom had to force me to go out there I got so nervous! But I loved it once I got out there LOL.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 Feb 08
I was the same way...once I was on stage and that spotlight was on me I felt great..was a real ham about it..practically had to drag me OFF the stage then..hehe
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 Feb 08
Well I never was a nervous wreck with school projects, but oh, my you should have seen me in my acting days and performed on stage...totally bonkers before a performance--hehehe
1 person likes this
@applsofgld (2506)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Pye, just calm down and relax. Say a prayer & wait. You have done your homework, just wait for the good offers to come in. They will. I said a prayer for you tonight too. Please keep us updated. This is such a fascinating story. You will make a come-back, I just know you will :). Have a wonderful weekend my friend!!
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 Feb 08
Thank you for your prayers about this...well, probably by the fifth portfolio I send I won't be sucha nervous wreck..LOL...I'm still making contacts to see if I get more "nibbles" of interest...I plan to keep plugging away there..and yes, will keep you updated. :)
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
23 Feb 08
Hi pye,:)
I'm so very excited for you, and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers regarding this. No wonder you're a nervous wreck! I just know you can do this, and get going with your photography again. You have a lot of talent! I have noticed that you've been 'somewhat absent' here, of late, so thanks for letting us know, what's been going on. Actually, I haven't been as active as normal, either. I am sorry to hear what happened to 'your online venture,' as I was hoping to spend more time 'checking things out.':( I'll send you an e-mail ASAP, as my computer is still acting up, on and off. Take care.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 Feb 08
Hi "mom" miss seeing you around here and hope you get your computer problems fixed soon. I was missing here a bit tonight as I finished up ANOTHER portfolio and sent it out plus wrote a bit in my e-book...and hopefully somewhere will find time soon to have another "on-line venture" as I miss the old one :(
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Congradulations on getting back into your photography. I've always loved taking pics...never anything professional but it's still fun. I'd love to see your website if you'd like to send the link.
As for getting back into things after being away from them for awhile, I'm probably a little nervous but mostly it's like riding a bike. It all comes back to you.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I just PM'd you with the links for my websites. Yes, maybe by the tenth portfolio I send out it'll be a piece of cake for me and won't be so nervous about it..LOL--Oh, and thanks ever for your comment you made on my moonshot... ;)
1 person likes this
@sumofalltears (3988)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I am not the nervous type, being nervous will not change the ultimate outcome of whatever you are doing. I always feel that if you have made your best effort then you will reap the rewards. Sometimes people don't see things the way that you do so your rewards may be slow in coming but they will get there.
I do have to admit that I experienced a mild trepidation when I went back to school at an advanced age, but I survived that quite nicely.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Mmmm..don't know about that. I was involved with acting in my younger years...actually wanted to do that as a career...when I was the most nervous before a performance on stage I was spectacular....hehe...when I wasn't I downright sucked..so maybe nervousness isn't all that bad??
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Well it's getting easier...tonight I had scanned some more photos and put together my THIRD portfolio and sent out to another company..yay!!! :)
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
24 Feb 08
awwwww i know im late with this one but i just hope it all works out ok for you and i get into being a nervous wreck every time i stand up to teach. I think the day it stops happening is the day i give up teaching
blessed be
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
25 Feb 08
And I just bet, the day you do give up on teaching, you'll miss being the nervous wreck..LOL
@heavenschild (4777)
• Canada
23 Feb 08
Hello Pye!
I am sooo happy for you!
This sounds like a wonderful opportunity for you to get your career back on track and something that will definitely make you happy! :)
I know that you can do this as you are very talented and I like what I have seen you post here as well as what I have seen on your profile page...You will do well and I am so happy for you! :)
Congratulations and keep us posted on your progress! :)
HUGS
~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@heavenschild (4777)
• Canada
24 Feb 08
Thanks for update :)
So glad that it was better for you today....
You will be more at ease as time goes on as I just know that you will do well!
Take Care
*Hugs*
~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
24 Feb 08
Well happily finished another portfolio today and sent out...not as much of a nervous wreck this time....LOL
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
23 Feb 08
Hi pyewacket! I really do wish you success in your career and I really hope you will soon reached the same star and maybe a bigger one than the one you used to have. I also am a nervous wreck when I am trying out a new type of work or even just going back to my former work, I guess how I will be accepted or how I will fare makes me a nervous wreck too most of the times. hehe..Just my thoughts. Take care and have a nice day! :)
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Thank you faith210...yes, I think that's the key to things about nervousness in how we are accepted, right?
1 person likes this
@Mondoh (147)
• United States
24 Feb 08
Here's my take as a fellow creative...
There R only so many summers & so many springs...
U want 2 worry about crap that doesn't reeeahlly matter in the long run?
Power w/o guilt, Love w/o doubt...
U have a gift, use it or lose it...
Personally, I play guitar, & I have a hard time showing it... It's not just U, it's all of us who R creatives & try 2 make a living doing what comes naturally...
I learned my Photography in B/W, composition 1st, then color...
It is NOT someone else's responsibility 4 UR success...
That belongs to U & U only... Claim it!
In the meantime, the rent has 2 B paid on time... right?
Feelin' yo pain... Yet answering in a way U may not want to hear... Get over it!
The next meeting U have w/an agent or a buyer, walk in knowing UR work is the sh&*. It's exactly what they R looking 4 exactly at the time they R looking 4 it...
& U juss happen 2 B at the right place at the right time...Yeah right...
Mondoh
1 person likes this
@Winter08 (441)
• Canada
23 Feb 08
Greetings to a very talented Nervous Wreck.
You should perhaps check out a post that I have seen on a few profile pages. It is found in the "comment" section. There is just something ... an amazing quality that comes through in that post ...
I look at that post and I see love, serenity, and a pure beauty.
The last location I saw this was on Perspective's comments. (I think you know her as Raia.) Go look there, Ms. Nervous Wreck. It's the post of a gorgeous cat in a heart shaped frame. You might be familiar with it. In fact, I'm sure you're familiar with it ... that is one awesome photo.
As Perspectives would say: "The right publisher is seeking you and finding you." A very useful affirmation.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
23 Feb 08
My my...so you've seen that photo...that was a photo of one of my former cats, Taffy...and yes, does happen to be one of my favorites. And glad to know you're a friend of perspectives...and that does sound like something she would say. I'm still a nervous wreck though...heehee
2 people like this
