My adoptive son is my son?
By PattyMelt
@PattyMelt (45)
United States
February 23, 2008 8:43am CST
You met this woman and she was everything you was searching for and she became your wife. Later you all discovered she could not concieve and you decided to adopt. You forgot to mention your previous relationship with a woman of whom you thought lost a child you all concieved together. At five years old the child becomes ill and tests are needed. The biological mother was not around and time is ticking. You ask the doctor to run tests that you are certain would not match, but you held on to that hope that you could help, tests comfirmed a match?! How could this be? After doing research the mother was your ex-wife that led you to think she lost the child. Would you as a mate feel betrayed as you understood that he had no children and he decided not to mention the ex-wife situation. What would you do?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@kellys3ps (3723)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I don't think I would be mad at the man unless I had specifically asked him if he had such a relationship. It would actually be wonderful to have the biological child of my spouse if we had to adopt.
1 person likes this
@PattyMelt (45)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Thanks for your reponse. I would feel a little betrayed although he thought it was over, it should have been shared.
@PattyMelt (45)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Thanks for you response, I would take it as a blessing and move forward. Maybe it was to workout that way in the end.
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
23 Feb 08
that's one hell of a story, accept the child... he has nothing to do with it...
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
24 Feb 08
trust issues... well that's natural after what has happened... but, you should sit down and talk to him to resolve this. Try to get it out of your system...
@PattyMelt (45)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Thanks for the reponse. It is a hell of a story but it would have me questioning alot after that about his past, you know?
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I as your wife would feel betrayed at first. Because I would have expected something of that kind of importance that you would have discussed with me. It is a matter of trust between two people. Given time I am sure that we could work this for lack of a better word betrayal. The thing about it is there needs to be time set aside so that this can be discussed and at a place and time there are no interruptions. This to me would be a very big deal. It would effect the relationship in some way but if two people love each other strife can be worked through and the two people can go on together from there being stronger for the situation.
@PattyMelt (45)
• United States
23 Feb 08
Thanks for your response. I would feel a little uncomfortable because why did he not share that with me and what happened in his last relationship that he wants to forget about something that could possible affect his current relationship.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
23 Feb 08
Hmm... That's a tough one. But I guess if the woman really loves you so much and you have been honest enough to her then sooner or later it will all be ok. I mean, yes things could get ugly, but if you are truly willing to help her understand and acknowledge your mistakes and prove to her that she's the only one for you and you really didn't have a clue on who the kid was. Then I guess things will be fine in the end. Plus, I'm sure she has gotten to love the kid so much that she'd not think of anything else but for her son to be well again.
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