Wrong place, Wrong Time and a bunch of What if's
@phillygirl606 (1112)
United States
February 23, 2008 3:18pm CST
I have actually had a conversation about this person before. We live in different states. It wasn't always like that though. We dated for awhile when he lived in the same state as I. We got along so well. I could talk to him for hours. But then due to family problems he had to get up and move to a different state to help family. We stopped talking for awhile. Now we have started talking again over instant messages. And the chemistry is still there. We talk all night. We both also confessed to each other that there were still feelings there. But heres the catch. He's now engaged. And we still live in different states. I am insanely jealous to say the least. It's one way of putting it. He tells me that he still cares about me, and that he has never stopped thinking about me. That he has always wondered what if we could have stayed together. Where would things be now. Now I must admit I have many of the same thoughts as him. And I never have stopped talking to him. He is planning a visit to my state to visit old friends. And we talk about how we have to get together. My only fear is that he is engaged and when it comes time for him to go back to his home how it is gone to leave me feeling. I know many of you are gone to say just leave him alone he is engaged. And I know it's totally wrong but I feel that I cannot stay away and leave it alone. Am I 100% wrong? Is there actually a chance, or am I heading down a dead end road that has no return and only setting myself up for heartache. All advice will be appreciate, Please help. Please share the good and the bad.
2 responses
@wrdsofwisdm (1069)
• United States
24 Feb 08
The good...you will see him and those feelings will warm you up from head to toe. Good memories will be discussed and make you smile.
The bad...
If you hug him, dangerous thoughts will flood your minds...bliss and guilt that his fiance has no idea, but possibly will if he changes his mind about her.
You will have to hear about how he met her and will want to know why he decided to ask her to marry him. This will be painful for you to hear. You both may get consumed by that strong connection you will always have. Then he will have to leave and go back to her. He will feel guilty if anything happened when he was with you.
The uncertain...you will be left in limbo waiting to see his decision. It is all up to the both of you if you want to take this risk. If you are strong enough to endure the possibility of rejection, you will be okay if you take the chance and don't get the outcome your heart wishes for. If you know it may hurt you terribly...I would say, see him when he comes in and fight any temptation of anything more. This way your heart will be fine when he leaves to go back home.
1 person likes this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Your perfectly right. Basically if he really wanted to be with me, knowing how I feel he would leave her. I am not about to be a fling when he comes on vacation. That's only gone to make me the one hurt in the end. Thanks for the response you really helped a lot.
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
23 Feb 08
I think that he is being either very unfair to you, or to his fiancee, actually both of you. He needs to make up his mind what he feels. You clearly are hoping for something, and I hope for your sake, it is you that he gets with. One of you girls is going to get hurt big time if you are not careful. You need to ask him, before he comes into your state what his feelings are and make it clear that you are not prepared to be shared. Don't end up as his spare. Sorry if that sounds brutal, but better this way than to be told to go for it and then spend the next few years regretting it.
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
23 Feb 08
No need to say sorry if it sounding brutal, this is why I posted this discussion am looking for as many outlooks and opinions as possible. It's strange i am not this type of girl. I have never even though about being with someone who is with someone else. It always seemed just so wrong too me. But with him it seems different. Like I feel I gotta have him no matter what. That I need to take him from her. Am I after the impossible?
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
23 Feb 08
Well it takes two to tango. But if both of you feel that you should be an item then fine. But I feel that this is a discussion that you need to have with him now. You are not asking for the impossible, but you want to get the facts up front. Take care and good luck.
