How many chances are too many?

Who has brought you up to believe that men are pigs? That seems a little harsh, as we should be brought up to make our own decisions about things and people. I have been hurt a fair few times over the years and this led to me being afraid of letting people get too close, I understand exactly what you mean about after a certain point pushing them away. I do the same thing with my husband I get so far and then I start putting the bricks up one by one. But all this is caused by being hurt in love before not because of the way I was taught. I was aware of what I was doing with my husband, and he was aware of it too and let me tell you if you keep on pushing, one day they wont come back. I pushed my husband into having an affair because of this pushing away, luckily I realised what I had done and we managed to get past it and we are still together. But again just recently I have been building that wall and if I dont stop it I will end up losing him and it will be my fault. You cannot expect your boyfriend to keep putting up with it because its not fair on him, he doesnt understand and if hes anything like my husband he will think its because of him and that you dont really love him. I think you should ask yourself if you can change how you are, if you can then take him back and let him into your heart, but if you know that like me, it will only be a matter of time before you start building that wall again then maybe you should consider letting him go. I think that if I cant stop building my wall then one day I too will have to consider letting go to stop him getting hurt anymore.

It is only you who can say if you want to take him back or not. But i ever you decide to give it a another try, then you should also give your best to make things work. You are hurt every time he walks away, but the question is, why did he do that? Is it only his fault? Do you always expect him to understand you? Just a thought my friend, dont you think he is expecting that you will also change and understand his limitations? Relationship is not a one way road. You both have to give your best to make things work. If you love him, give him another chance...give yourself another chance. This time, make it a point that you do things not for yourself but for him... and he should do the same. Make the most out of everything. In the end you wont regret that you know you have given your best to make things work.

It is always your choice that makes this happen to you and your relationship. Which do you think would make you happier and weigh things which suits you more. I think I see and feel in you that you are struggling with your belief system that "men are pigs". For as long as you hold onto that belief then you will always end up in the same situation you are in right now. What I can tell you is that start removing that belief system that you have inherited from your past if you wanted to have a long and lasting relationship. This is what hinders you from moving on to what you want which is obviously you wanted to have a good relationship with men. But if it is what you want you can always stay in what you believe in.

I'm in the same situation as your boyfriend. It seems the girl has absolutely no trust that I am being sincere. She keeps me at a distance to the point that she makes me feel so unloved, unwanted, unappreciated, worthless. She shows more affection for her male friends than for me. She tells me lies just to cover up her secrets. Let me tell ya, it is extremely frustrating to be in love with a woman like that. As a result I have walked out on her several times already. I don't know why she's like that. I have done nothing wrong. I have given her all my love. She has given me nothing but bullsh_t.

I was raised the same way, but at some point you have to learn to trust people. I understand your situation with putting your walls up, but your boyfriend walking away isn't going to help you feel secure. All I can say is listen to your heart, not your family. It's not up to your sister, you need to do what's best for YOU. If you go through life never trusting anyone, you're only hurting yourself. No one ever said life was easy, but you have to give it a chance. Not ALL men are bad. I know how hard it is to trust them, but at some point that wall needs to come down, at least a little. I wish you the best with everything. I'm here for ya if you want to chat. :)

I think you should take your own advice. Why are guys breaking up? The worse thing you can do in a relationship is seek advice, it will only confuse the situation. Whatever you are feelin at that moment do it! Too many chances is when YOU have had enough. People forget to communicate with thier mate.

No one can decide this for you. If you want things to work out and you guys do end up getting back together, the best thing you can do is get some counseling for yourself. That way you can fix your problem of putting the wall up. I honestly didn't believe in counseling until I went for myself about a year ago. I am still presently going and it has improved my relationship with my boyfriend and children.

i think you have to take the advice of your sister, i think it is doing well.

I'm a guy and after reading this i am wondering why you are pushing him away. Are you afraid of commitment, like marriage, or are there other things happening. If this is something about commitment then you need to ask yourself if you really love the person, but if it isn't then stop hurting yourself by letting him back into your life. That is the worst thing you can do because it will make you put walls up more often.