Would you change religion to be with someone?

i tend to agree babe, but worry, why would anyone demand someone else change something so central to them in the first place? blessed be

Changing religion for getting married to your love one is the most unholy thing one can demand from his/her love one. When you are in love with some one you love him/her as a whole and religion comes with it as its a integral part of it. Asking for change means that you dont respect the religion of the person you love and if you cant respect ones religion then claiming you love or getting married to some one out of love is a BIG LIE.

yes i agree, i just cant get past a simple question, why ask anyone to convert?

certainly at one level i think it is selfish, but also quite dangerous, i wonder how different groups react to their followers converting away from them. As far as i understand it is a capital offence under sharia?

Exactly. If you love and respect another person then you wouldn't want this person to change - would you? I think it's a selfish thing to ask someone to convert.

religion is not very important to me but im sure i would react negatively if someone wanted me to fit in with their beliefs

I have friends who have married into other religions...and some in-laws even though they are rigid and follow their religion...are open to their daughters-in-law following their own. But these friends of mine...due to repect for their spouses family and to avoid confusion for the kids, practice both religions at home. Some other in-laws insist that their son marry someone from the same religion and if he chooses a wife from another religion, they expect the daughter-in-law to convert. This happens mostly in joint families where the rest of the family do not want to change their daily routines (which include religious ones) to accomodate the new addition to the family. It is then easier for one person to adjust to the rest of the family than the rest of them adjusting to one person. I'm not saying this is the right thing to do...just explaining the expectations from the family.

Thank you for that but i still cant see why anyone would want to expect someone to convert?

yes, it is the compulsion bit i find so difficult to understand, but why should it matter to anyone else?

BUT ISNT THERE A DAMBING INSECURITY AND ARROGENCE within islam to expect otrhers to convert but to refuse to consider doing it yourself?

that is so very unwise of you to say those things. if you are to become a leader, your country will fall even before it rises. peace.

my previous comment was to dianagnes. peace be with you.

that is fantastic and you also went forward with the relationship, even though he was trying to force you to choose? blessed be

I think that would always be a danger, maybe after marriage he becomes demanding in this way. Thankyou for your addition to this discussion

No it was after i got married and he tried to fit me according to his family, that he started to pressurise me about his religios views. B4 it was just love between both of us and knew no religion.

this is true. However, i do wonder why someone would want another to convert?

or tell him he needs psychological help, for still believing in all that god bothering stuff?

It's a selfish matter dear. OR its depend how the partner discuss and decide this kind of situation. One of them should willing to give and willing to sacrifice in the name of love. IF no one will willing of it then it can affect the partnership.

also, if a religion is secure in its own truths, why would it worry about others luring its believers away???

Because once religion became organized, despite all good intentions, it became an instrument to control people. Religious leaders are too often egotistical, insecure people who need to "lead" others to gratify their own whims and bolster their self-esteem. And it's also about m-o-n-e-y! Loss of the faithful means loss of funds! That's why, although I'm very religious, I don't belong to any church. I think that would be a betrayal of my beliefs and compromise my God-given free will. God gave us brains for a reason and I believe He's truly disgusted that so many religions discourage their use.

exactly right, they are all scared of losing people to the opposition lol its nothing to do with spirituality but a lot to do with bums on seats

but this is suggesting no agency on your part? no free will? thankl you for your addition to debate

ha, ok that tells me a lot

sorry, i don't understend about free will and agency?

yes, her view was that she could never become a muslim for anything, never mind a male blessed be

so how do you feel if someone converts to Christianity for their partner. is that trading God for the Devil too? or is it only not okay to convert if it's away from what you beleive in.

"Changing religion to be with a person is trading God for the devil." Not necessarily. I bristle at the thought of being asked to change religions to be accepted by someone I love. However, it might very well be that your spouse is a more spiritual person than you -- that their religion would improve you. Most people just follow the faith their parents spoon-fed to them. That is no better than switching faith to that of your spouse. To have virtue, one would have to thing and pray on what they believe and choose the religion that matches what their heart tells them. I believe you must reflect upon your faith. That turning over the issues of faith in your mind and trying to follow your conscience is one of the best forms of prayer a person can engage in. Refusing to think, reflect, and re-examine what you believe is hoping and praying on chance that the religion your parents fed to you when you were young and impressionable happens to please God. If you were "lucky" God might love and accept you. If you were "unlucky" and born into the wrong family, you cannot be 'saved' simply because you never thought critically about things and left the inadequate religion before dying. I don't think God plays dice with people's souls. I do not believe one person is more likely to be saved than another because of accidents of birth which we cannot control. I think God judges everyone's life taking into consideration all circumstances. In "The Fountainhead" there is a quote. "One cannot say, I love you without first saying the I." One cannot promise themselves to God unless they have exercised their free will to establish their own identity. To know who "I" am and then promise "my" faith to my Creator. To many people seem to think that "thinking" is sinful. I am not comfortable with that.

In a way i can see where you are coming from. However, I am still left with the question, why should it not be him that does the converting?

I guess the couple can talk about it. In my part, I am the old fashioned woman who sees men as higher than me - they're the kings, and I am a queen - so with that, it's me who will do the converting.

but as a muslim he could be killed for converting

i didn't know that. is there a rule like that in Islam? i have Muslim friends but they mentioned nothing like that.

how is anyone born into an abstract idea? Surely, you decide which version of the lie to follow?

again, i can only agree. I would not be happy to anyone who is happy to hand over all responsibility to an unseen god

I don't think being 'religious' necessarily excludes thinking for yourself. Granted, a religious person is supposed to think beyond just themselves. Looking to the connections between all people and striving to peace and brotherhood. On the other hand, it kind of depends on what you think of when you say "religious." Certainly, religions do lay down a lot of rules, ritual, and practices which seem determined to take control over people. So, looking at it that way, religious people do seem to make 'sheep' of themselves and even try to pass that off as a virtue. Me? I think everyone should think about how to be a good person who treats everyone with respect and tolerance. I think religion can divide people and a person with a good heart, a spiritually pure person, would want to show respect to other people. More respect than to try to control or beat them into obedience to one's pet Dogma.

hahaha cant imagine there is, but it is the first discussion i have ever started that got over 100 responses in almost 15 months here lol thankyou for your response blessed be

Wow what a question, just realised that I am the 102nd answer! Keep it going I wonder if there is a special bonus for the discussion thats recives this eh! There certainly should be. Ellie :D

exactly right, what next? i agree if something is so shallow as to be given up so lightly, what next?

it is good to know this friend, i hope she makes the right decision for her blessed be