Do you ever feel like everything you do is just a waste of time?

Hi stephcjh, Strange to say, there might be a very large number of people in this situation. There's a school of thought (ie, mine) which says that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck & talks like a duck, then it probably makes good sense to behave for all intents like it IS a duck (even if it's not). Because even if it's NOT a duck, the end result will still be the same as if it WAS a duck. And then again, with all those things going for it, it most probably IS a duck anyway. What I'm trying to get at, in my roundabout way, is that the world is not "random". The Universe is a living thing, and it does EVERYTHING with deliberate purpose. And it takes great delight in tormenting as many of us as it can, apparently. If you wanted to give the Universe a name, I'd suggest "Murphy" (I don't know why, I never met a Murphy that wasn't either socially dysfunctional or just an outright crook - must be their history of inbreeding or something). Murphy's Law only applies when you don't expect it to, and then it always works in the most effective way to compound one's problems or to stuff things up. There's another school of thought (not an original, but I still like it) that our thoughts attract their corresponding reality. Thus, positive thinking attracts the associated results. Ditto negative thinking. Note that the term "associated" was used, not "desired", because the Universe doesn't care about what you desire, it only hears what you feed it with your habitual thinking behavior, and responds accordingly. That's why all these books and self-improvement courses place such an emphasis on "positive affirmations". By reciting our desired objectives over and over, they eventually become "imprinted" into our habits of thinking, and should thereby attract the corresponding reality. There's other issues which can complicate the picture somewhat - for example, as a herding species, humans are pre-programmed to align their views and patterns of behavior with what they believe that other people are thinking. Just imagine what a warped dynamic THAT introduces to the "as a man thinketh, so is he" equation. All of a sudden, a man's destiny is hopelessly entangled in the disposition of the community that he or she participates in, and is constrained by what he or she thinks that other people are thinking. Additionally, the power to attract a particular reality is magnified enormously by a collection of people all thinking the same thing. The influence that other people have over an individual's thoughts only applies to those people who give a rat's behind about what other people might be thinking or doing. While we're all programmed from before birth to align ourselves with the flock, we can train ourselves out of that way of thinking. Positive affirmations are one way of doing that. Another way is to talk to yourselves - your "me, myself and I", and align your thoughts to the views of that private crowd in preference to everyone else. So you see independent thinkers generally get "ahead" of the crowd, or at least manage to move in the direction that they personally choose for themselves, and don't just get swept along by the collective consensus about how people should think or behave. BUT it can be dangerous. That human herding behavior includes destroying anyone who goes against the grain - that's what people try to do to anyone who they perceive as a maverick, and that means anyone who doesn't conform to the collective consensus (or what any individual THINKS is the collective consensus, which we're all biologically programmed to focus on and align ourselves with). The most common pattern is for other people to try to change your point of view to conform to what they believe, and if you persist in disagreeing they'll inflict all sorts of damage on you in order to pull you into line. This goes on at all levels - emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual. And we can all be honest and admit we've seen this going on all around us since our earliest days. So the independent thinker learns very quickly to keep his or her thoughts to him or her self, while at the same time ignoring the impetus to follow the mainstream as they pursue their own directions. Here's another notion that's a Dodo original (it might not be original, but I told me first) - if you hold a thought, that immediately commences to attract the reality. As long as the thought is held, the attraction remains. As soon as other thoughts displace it, however, your boat gets blown off-course in other directions, and it will take longer to achieve what you were aiming for. SO it's important if you want something, to stay focussed, NO MATTER HOW LONG it takes. If that means forever, so be it - but remember that a ship will only get to its destination if it stays pointed in that direction. And here's another little gem - not a Dodo original, I deduced this one from the obscure rantings of others - there's a whole other structure to our material reality which we can't see, that has linkages that we don't understand by the common way of looking at things. Each thought attracts it's corresponding reality for as long as the thought is held or renewed - and how that happens is really quite mysterious, because it appears to work by "magic" from the purely physical perspective. Seemingly unrelated events and factors fall into place to bring about what people habitually entertain in their thinking. It places into question our common perception of the principles of cause and effect - and it challenges the idea of the future being dependent on the past. But it's true - that's the way it happens. What we think, and how we permit other people to influence our thinking, determines the reality that will be attracted into our living space. Another thought - if we don't like where we are, then we should move to a different space. But to do so requires ACTION (and the act of THINKING is the first element of taking action). Really powerful thinkers can induce the world to conform to their desires just by their thoughts. Most of us have to translate our thoughts in to personal physical action of some form if we want to speed up the process, though. The point is, the thought is the first step, and is the essential step. Know what you want, and don't allow your own thinking to oppose that desire in any way. That last bit leads to another revelation - ACTION presupposes an OUTCOME. If you take action towards a desired result, then that implicitly means that you BELIEVE the result is achievable. To take ACTION affirms that you can see the PORT into which you intend to sail your boat. And if you can SEE the port you're aiming for, then all you have to do is keep pointed in that direction and you are GUARANTEED to get there. So beyond just thinking about something, taking coherent action to achieve it has more power to attract the reality than one might suppose just from the mechanical principles of cause and effect as we commonly understand them. The bottom line - there is no chance or "probability" in this world. It's all just a sophisticated charade paraded before us by Murphy (aka The Universe). The real determinant for what's going on around us in the material world is the maelstrom of collective uncontrolled thoughts churning out of sight in people's minds. So accept that the world is doing its best to frustrate your every attempt to get where you want to be - and that includes everyone else who you permit to divert your thoughts from where you want to be. Knowing this is necessary in order to be able to slug your way through all the resistance to where you want to be. A little reflection will show this to be true at every level, from the most insignificant matter like making breakfast, to the most lofty ambition like getting to Mars (or beyond). Without this realization, we are each like a little sailing boat on a very big ocean, being blown this way and that, and never reaching our intended port because we're not headed in any one direction long enough to get to any particular destination. Anyway, yes I agree, sometimes it seems like everything is against us and the world is conspiring to defeat our every effort to achieve something. It seems that way, because that's exactly what's happening. You can beat the mongrels, but you have to recognize what's going on first, and then plan your campaign to first win each battle, and eventually to win the entire war and establish your own Empire over you particular reality. And it helps (a lot) to recruit a few allies to help you - people who not only think in the same way as you, but also give you their unconditional support for your intentions and actions. The corollary to that last bit is that if you have someone close to you who undermines your intentions, then you really need to disengage that influence from your thinking habits. You don't necessarily need to turf them out into the street, but you do need to develop your own personal strategies to defeat any such negative influence. Be strong, young Jedi, and use the Force.

Well I have struggled with delay and resistence all my life. Conservatism (or retardation as i prefer to think of it ) has been the blight of my life. I just work harder to overcome the clawing hands of those who would drag us back blessed be

I don't have this issue but my husband does. He feels like the world is out to get him, even when things are going good. For example, he got a great job and we just bought him a brand new car. He is getting a raise on March 4th, and will be moving into a new department soon that has a substantial increase in pay. All he can focus on is wanting to go to school full time and trying to break into a industry where he is going to make much less than he does now. He mulls around about how his job is "okay" (this is the first place in the 5 years we have been together where he actually likes his boss and they love him, and he is busy all the time) and how every day seems like a waste to him all because he is not programming video games. To him that means he is not going anywhere and becoming stagnant. To me, he should be happy with what he has, keep his dreams in sight but appreciate what he does have. Most people can not afford to go out to eat buy what they want when they want or drive whatever car they choose. We are lucky enough to have that.

I consider this is a very good discussion. I got everything in my life after a struggle only .Even if I get a check for a million dollars it won't be honored in the bank for a careless mistake and I have to struggle to rectify to get my money always. The very simple things happening to others happen to me the hard way. I used to get dejected At first. As time passed by I got use to it and am happy that at least something is happening with some delay instead of not happening at all. I don't care anymore now. I do my duty to the maximum possible perfection without worrying for the results. Some body up there got tired of the game and started making things right for me nowadays. And I found myself following the great Karma propagated by BagavaD Gita without my knowledge. There is a famous phrase in the Bhagavad Gita that encompasses such a meaning. "Karmaneva Adikarasthe Mapaleshu Kadachana," which means that you only have responsibility over your actions and not the fruits of your actions. In simpler terms, it means, do your duty and don't worry about the consequences. It is interesting to note that the Gita was a lecture that Lord Krishna gave to Arjuna, a warrior and prince, on the battlefield because Arjuna was in an emotional knot about fighting and possibly killing his own cousins, uncles, and gurus. To Arjuna's emotional angst, Krishna had one response: do your duty, even if it means killing your cousins. Leave the rest to God. There must be a meaning to everything. Let us cheer up for the sake of our dear ones to whose wyes we are the heroes always.

I feel this way every single day 24/7. It's so bad that I have trouble sleeping because I'm worrying about everything. I've been trying to figure out a way to have my own life and not let others (my mom's husband) control my life. Everytime I think I find a way out, something ALWAYS go wrong. This is why I look for jobs online, so I can make at least a little money for myself. I haven't left my house in years (except the occasional weekend at my cousin's place) so it is difficult to do anything for myself. That is the reason I cannot take care of myself, but I want to learn how. Problem is, I'm not allowed to.

OH YES! Sometimes I wonder why I bother to try to work 40 hours, keep the house clean, keep our yard up, pick up clothes, toys etc., take care of our pets...I could go on. I often feel like I'm the only one who cares! What has helped me is to allow myself not to care sometimes. If the kitchen is to messy to cook a meal - we go out. If my husband grumbles that we can't afford it, I tell him that since keeping the kitchen was a lower priority for him that cooking was a lower priority for me. ...our agreement is that he keeps the kitchen clean and I do the rest of the house (!). At least its something right? Everything used to have to be perfect...not anymore! I was making myself crazy and my6 family unhappy with my crankiness. Now, I just let some things go. As long as we're healthy and not in physical danger...

I think you and I are soul sisters, I feel like that all the time, all my life whatever I have done has not amounted to a hill of beans

Yes, I feel like this all the time and often it seems like the harder I try the more I feel it's nothing but a waste of my time and energy. I do keep trying though and just pray that at some point in my life someone will see and appreciate what I have done.

This is definitely a talk of a pessimist.be an optimist .Life is full of ups & downs .Don't be discouraged

Steph I know exactly what you mean!!! I was thinking about this same thing this morning while paying some bills...you think you are taking a step forward, only to find you're three behind.I just keep telling myself this too shall pass.It helps sometimes...and the times it doesn't I usually take a long hot bath and block everything out for a while...if I can't change it, I might as well take a break from it every once in a while.Hope you are doing well, I haven't had a whole lot of time to sign on lately...hope to catch you on soon :)~Heidi

sweetheart, i think you need more purpose and vision in life. personally, I guess my faith brings meaning to all that i do. so i don't feel like everything i do is just a waste of time. everything i do points to a final destination. a final purpose, and journey with a goal in sight. so i feel quite good about life, even when trials beset me cos I know that Jesus Christ is there with me each step of the way and there is an eternal future for me.

its a matter of time despair sets in whemn it seem sthat things are not working out but you see that is the best time to push

Listen my friend. Nobody take you by the hand and pull. Nobody tell you what to do with a 100% sure of. Our lifes are too short to be wondering about it. Live one day and the other. Focus on your plans and don´t let anything get you down, because happyness is there for everyone, but only you can search for yours.

I am so glad i found this posting today I am actually struggeling with this problem right now and have felt a lot like just giving up on it all and I see my two youngest and know that that can't happen but it does seem like nothing is going right and no matter what I never get ahead..

yup i deal sometimes those feeling, i try & try thousand times but still nobody will appriciate me, but if you did a small mistake oppssssssssss you will hear a lot of voices that everyone say why why why, it look like your a criminal for them. i dont know why maybe that will be part of our life.

Yes I have this feeling lots of times. I always think life is dull and lost most savor, I am a failer in life.

It sounds like you need to make some changes. A few weeks ago I felt like my life was falling apart and I was sick of just being in the rat race so I made some drastic changes. I don't know if they'll pay off but it's better than just existing.

I don't feel everything I do is a waste, but maybe some things. There are times I feel overwhelmed and need a break from daily routine, if that is what you mean, working and working and feeling like you are not getting anywhere.. If so, then I do take a break and do something different to break the routine and then go back again..

I feel for you and I am sure a lot of people are in the same boat. I am now retired and for awhile I felt like I was wasting time and space. not contributing. not in the work force but decided to find hobbies and worthwhile projects and now I do not feel so depressed. but when my husband was alive and our kids small a good many times I felt just as you do. Like no matter what we did we could not seem to get ahead so you have my sympahy. just do the best you can. thats all any of us ultimately can do.

I think everyone feels like you do at some point but "If it don't kill you, It'll make you stronger" I believe that. At the lowest times in ones life you have to take a step back, not out of choice but because a low blow always makes you think twice and look at the whole situation. Maybe those times are there for people to grow from maybe it is a step to get you where you need to be. Instead of trying to tell your self that the glass is always half empty, maybe try to look at it as half full.