Confession: Part II Gratitude

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I know I owe you myLot friends a THANK YOU letter expressing my warmest Gratitude for your kindness and compassion to my plight. I wrote Confession at the spur of the moment when I was hurting so bad, I was alone in the house that day (should say I was the only one awake at that time, my children were sleeping) and had no one to unburden my pain. So I wrote my heartache and your responses comforted me so much. Here is my 2nd Confession which answers some of the questions which you mentioned and I am answering them as honestly and truthfully as I can describe them: I suffered in silence for 10 years because I was financially dependent on him. My children were in school with tuition and other expenses to pay. I was faced with a choice: stopping my hysterics or be cut off financially leaving us with no trace of himself (hide from us). Those were my choices. With a baby barely a year old and two older kids in school, I kept silent. Though the silence kills my heart, my soul, my being, I did. But I have to keep on living for my children whose lives were in peril of being pitiful or worse ruined, without me to protect them, I had to stay silent and bear the pain in silence. In those 10 years silently I built my own life, secretly I continued my study and found a job. He did not know this because I made sure he will know nothing. I did not complain, my children too. For seven years he did not come home. It was a blessing because I was able to continue my agenda for me and my children's future. But my children hungers for their father's love. That I cannot fill up. The loneliness and longing for a father seem so deep that I cannot satisfy. Hoping that one day such feeling of loneliness will be satisfied once the presence of their father is fulfilled, the children will be alright. I allowed the marriage to continue. I did not take action nor make confrontation. He came home and stayed a month each time, my children were very happy. They became livelier and contended and confident. During those months of vacation, he did not mention any of the past events that transpired. I kept quiet. Trying to believe we are fine and normal again. And then the TRUTH ... and the reason for CONFESSION.