Who handles money matters?
@plainhousewife (332)
Philippines
February 27, 2008 1:55am CST
As a stay at home mom (SAHM), who takes care of money matters?
We all know that as SAHM, we don't get to add to the family wages and it's the husband who does all the earning. Don't you ever get the feeling that although the money that comes in is supposed to be joint already, it really isn't your money and can't use it on yourself?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I am a SAHM and I handle the majority of the money matters. I take care of all the bills, run the errands, and whatnot when it comes to the families finances. My husband wants no part of it. He prefers it this way, in fact. He does have free rein and can get what money he needs out of the bank though, which can sometimes cause a problem as he doesn't let me know about it, and we have been low on funds because of it.
I do kind of feel that the money is more my husband's than it is ours as he is the only one working and bring home the bacon, so to speak. But I know I shouldn't feel that way as one of us has to stay home, especially with having a special needs child. It might as well be me, as I couldn't make half of what my husband makes anyway with having barely any work experience. It sucks, but that's just the way it is.
1 person likes this
@schilds (410)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I was having trouble with my hubby visiting the atm without telling me - after getting tired of paying a fortune in overdraft fees - I opened a seperate account for him - we figured on an amount we could both live with and each payday that amount goes into his account. Now though he still does have access to our joint account he stays out of it - if he need more money for something he just asks me to deposit more money for him - if we have it, I do, if not - I don't.
I also know what you mean about the money feeling more his than ours. If he wants something I have a tendancy to find a way for him to have it - even if it means being late on a bill or 2. That is my major money downfall. I don't spend much money on me, but I can't seem to tell him no.
@m105508 (59)
• India
27 Feb 08
Well in my house both my Mom and Daddy earns.But all money is given to my Daddy because me and my mom spend alot of money without even thinking about it once.We are shooping freaks and noone can stop us once we start shopping.But daddy manages it very well,he takes out some amount from it gives me my pocket money every week.Gives some money to my Mom everyday and the rest in put in a fix in his Bank.So that he may gain intrest on it.
@plainhousewife (332)
• Philippines
27 Feb 08
Wow! That's new! Most of the couples I know says that it's the wife handling the money. Usually once the husband gets his monthly wages, it goes directly to his wife to be taken care of.
Your Mom and Dad are quite unique! Kudos to your dad for a job well done! :D
@plainhousewife (332)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
Same here! I'm not good in handling money and I let him take care of it. The only money I handle is our "market fund" which usually is used for groceries, small bills or in other words, for our miscellaneous expenses.
Most of the couples I know, the husbands salary would go directly to the wife. He only keeps a portion of it for his daily expenses, but the rest goes to the wife.
Since we are not one of those couples who follow this, it makes me feel all the more that the money is only his wherein he gets to make major purchases, sometimes without even consulting me.
Then there would be times when he'd lend money to his family or give them money... most of which I'd only find out after he's given it.
Sometimes I just wish he'd tell about these.
It really does feel it is his money. :(
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I usually handle the money as I'm better at it. Who can take a guy who's score was pretty pathetic and raise it over 200 pts?!?!? If dh was in charge of the $ the bills would never get paid cause something that caught his eye (a gadget) would be inhand rather than paying his debt on time.
Though sometimes it gets hard to handle on one check w/ bills based on 2 incomes (ie before kids & the decision not to put them in day care).
@kelleydian (175)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Not really. Although I do have a difficult time spending it on clothing for myself. But I will buy books and food without hesitation. Perhaps, it's because clothes cost so much more. And I share food and books. Okay - yeah. lol I have a difficult time spending money on only myself! However, I have been a SAHM, a WAHM, and a working mom outside of the home and none of those situations have changed my attitude toward my relationship with money.
