one bedroom flat : was it worth it ??
By vipulchawla
@vipulchawla (2220)
India
February 27, 2008 11:38pm CST
Hey guys i read this story written by a software engineer and i really felt the bitter reality behind it.. I just kept feeling.. Was it really worth it.. And me being a software engineer myself .. i could really feel the pain.. So here it goes.. I would really appreciate your views upon this ::
"As the dream of most parents I had acquire a degree in Software Engineer and joines a Compnay based in USA.It was as if a dream had come true..
Here at last i was in the place where i want to be and would be spending 5 years to earn before i could think of settling down in India.My father was a govt. employee and the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.I wanted to do something more than that.
I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed.Two years of Burgers at McD's and pizzas and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down and calling home once a weel using cheap International Phone cards.
Finally i went to India for 10 days on holiday and decided to get married. I was jubiliant and actually enjoying hoping for gifts for all my friends back home.With restrictions of time i was forced to select one candidate among the photographs of girls.Within 2-3 days we got married and flew back to USA.
My wife enjoyed this country for 2 months and then she started feeling lonely.The frequency of calling India incresedto twice or thrice a week.Our savings started diminishing..
After 2 years we were gifted with two lovely kids and everytime i spoke to my parents, they asked to come to India so they can see their grand children.But because of work i could just no leave.Then one day i got a message saying that my parents were seriously sick..still i could not go and the next message that my parenst had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could.I was depressed as my parents passed away without even seeing their grand children..
After couple more years, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy.. we returned to India to settle down..But falling short of savings could not buy a suitable property so had to return to USA but my wife refused to some back..As time passed by..my daughter got marred to an American and my son was happy living in USA. I decided to go back and settle down in India and all i could buy was a decent 2 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.
Now i m 60 years old.. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.Sometimes i wondered WAS It Worth All This?
My father, even after staying in India had a house to his name and i too have the same nothing more..I lost my parents and children for just one Extra Bedroom..this damaged cable TV has spoiled our new generaton and these children are losing their values and culture bcoz of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking i m alright.Well at least they remember me.
Now perhaps after i die it will be the neighbours again who will be performing my last rights,God bless them..
But the question still remains.."WAs All This Worth It?"
So People What do you think .. What is more important in life..
1 person likes this
5 responses
@raina21 (130)
• India
21 Jul 08
Hey thats a real nice story Vipul.Thanks for sharing...
But whatever happened to the engineer was due to his own decisions and so u can't really pity on him...
In my opinion its very necessary to rank our priorities in life -atleat thats what I believe in...
Had he recognize what are his prioroties he wouldn't have faced the situations.
2 people like this
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
21 Jul 08
I agree. He surely must have realized what his priorities are, before taking any step. but i think, at his age, almost every engineer thinks the same way. Who would not like to go abroad and earn some fast money?
About me, if you would ask, i would definitely like to go abroad, not for money but atleast i want to go abroad. I won't like to settle over ther. I would prefer going on a short term on project basis..
1 person likes this
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
21 Jul 08
I don't wish to spend much time abroad. Because i know, even i can't live alone myself. even though, i live away from my parents now, but atleast, i can talk to them daily, visit them once in 4 months and i have my friends here with me..
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
20 Jul 08
Hey its absolutely okay with me. I never expected you to respond back to each and every discussion of mine, those which i started months ago..and that too sitting late at nyt, doing overtime..
U just impress me for the trouble you took to go through all the discussions..
Thanks...
I liked it when u called me by my nickname...
1 person likes this
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
21 Jul 08
Thats so nice of you.. I hope u did get to know me something better..
And see, i am so lucky for you.. Responding to my discussions gets u the highest earning for a day.. LOL
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
28 Feb 08
well it all depends on how you plan your life. The parents of this 60yr old man had planned their savings well so that they could afford to give their son the best education, lifestyle and career. They succeeded in their goal, the son did not succeed. The problem with us Indians is that we get too emotional and carried away with everything. What the son should have done is the moment he landed a job in USA, he should have started planning both for himself and his parents. Eating at McD’s is not the only option…I know of many Indians who stay abroad and manage to boil rice and dal for themselves. Even my dad did it for 12 yrs while he stayed in the Gulf. Once an important decision as working abroad is taken, one has to stick by it at all costs and pining for home like a child in boarding-school is not expected. Secondly, he should not have rushed into marriage. His crying to his parents once a week, forced them to look for a match for him and he also readily agreed without have secured his financial future properly. Thirdly…two children in two years??? Isn’t that too much too early! Even in India couples staying with their parents don’t have children at least before 5yrs and here was this guy staying in a foreign land with his wife to support and having two children!!! Amazingly foolish. Fourthly, his wife should have started doing something on her own instead of sitting at home and whining all the time. That way she could have added to the family income. And lastly….after securing their financial future, the son should have invited his parents to the USA (if not permanently, then for long vacations). That way his parents would have been prouder and in old age, he would not have had to live alone in a two-bedroom flat. As much as possible, plan the priorities in life and good luck to you.
1 person likes this
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
28 Feb 08
Very well said.. Its infact necessary to plan all your actions before taking them..So you blame the guy for not knowing how to cook...How mean!! He could have done cost-cutting but comeon..thats not fair enough.. he should have enjoyed too.. By the way it as the guy himself who was willing to marry.. He could have planned for his family before getting married and ya ofcourse could have avoided having kids so soon.. But the main issue point was on the rising prices.. What difference did he make by living abroad and earning money ..staying away from their parents and still doing not better than his parents.. He could have easily reached that situation without going abroad too..
@subha12 (18441)
• India
28 Feb 08
I have earlier read this story. I am also a software engineer. its really the case that always a huge amount of money is not all that is required in life.there are many duties, emotions etc also.I think I have taken a right decision of not moving away for higher paid job leaving my old ailing parents.
@vipulchawla (2220)
• India
28 Feb 08
So you put up in Kolkata only.. Well even i consider your decision of not moving out for a high payout job was right.. I have already been staying away from my parents for more than 6 years.. but it wss my compulsion.. i had to go for my studies.. and now since i m working away from home.. its quite possible that i may not meet my parents for months.. If given an opportunity to go abroad i would think of going abroad but ofcourse not for settling down there.. But i hope that same thing doesn't happen with me..
