How do u feel about Step parent adoptions?

How old is the boy? (I missed it if you said already.) What does HE say about it? I'm going to try you tell you my story real quick, because it does have a lot in common here. My parents divorced when I was 9. My mom left my dad for my dad's childhood best friend. The divorce was not pretty and my mom did everything she could, including using me and my brother as "weapons" against my father. She stopped the court ordered visitation after 3 years because she knew my dad wasn't going to drag us through any more crap. He walked away when I was 12. That same year, my mom married my dad's best friend. My mom had worked real hard to drive my dad away, and he finally walked away to save me and my brother from the stress. I would not have chosen that, if I had my say. My mom worked to turn us against my dad and ultimately twisted our minds against him so that we would consent to the adoption by my step dad. With my dad gone, I went along with it because my step dad is a wonderful guy and it's not his fault my mom is psycho. Fast forward a few years. I was 18 and I found my dad. I'm now 30 and we've had a relationship ever since my first phone call. His decision to walk away, and later to not fight the adoption, haunts him to this day. Because of the adoption, his name was wiped away from my birth certificate, and all other traces erased. I am also in the middle because he'll make passing comments about the adoption. My mom, knowing I have a relationship with him, says things like, "he's not your father because he wasn't there and I hope you don't call him Dad because Bob's your father". Anyway, I have suffered more because of my dad's decision to walk away, and to allow the adoption to happen. When my parents were fighting, yes it was terrible, BUT it gave me a sense of being valued. I knew they were fighting over us. My mom was able to successfully, even to this day, turn my brother against our father, and for a years, it worked on me too. Him walking away to save us from the fighting ultimately gave my mom a strong card to play whenever her and I would fight over him. "He left you, he never calls, he doesn't care about you"...I've heard all of it and for a while I believed it. So, as someone who's been there, I'd say to fight for the kid. Set aside your feelings about having his child with someone else in your house. It can work out just fine, if YOU want it to. But if you act like he's an outsider because he's not your's, then he'll feel like it. My step dad had his son and we all got along just fine. He never treated me and my brother any different than he treated his son. Don't allow his ex to erase him from the boy's life.

I don't know where you live but I don't think the mother can have her husband adopt the boy unless your husband has given up his parental rights. Meaning he can't be adopted by another person if your husband is still considered his legal parent. Unless you're husbands parental rights are terminated then his ex's spouse can't adopt his son. I suggest getting a good family lawyer and try getting full custody of the boy, because it sounds like he's better off in your care anyway.

I don't think its right for his step dad to adopt him. Honestly, I don't know where the right place for that child is. His mom seems to a little bit disturbed as I surmise from your post. It wouldn't be a nice place for him to be there either. If he'll stay with you, he might feel left out and abandoned when he sees that all the other children in the house belong to the same set of parents. That is very disturbing for the child. No matter how much we treat him in the same way we do with our other children, this will really be an issue for them. Does he really need to be adopted by anybody? If he doesn't, don't let anybody adopt him. I don't know how old this child is so I really can't tell. However, if your home seems to be safest place for him, I think you should go and fight for it. But again, if this could turn out to be a traumatic experience for the child because of all the dramatic scenes his mom displays, leave him with his mom instead but don't let the step dad adopt him. We're not even sure how long they will last together. Good luck with your case.

that is a very tough call to make. i know that your husband loves that child and wants to be a part of his life, but i also know that he wants the best for the child as well. my husband and i had gone through a similar situation with his other daughter that he has only seen three times her whole life and she is almost nice now. The problem was that the mother wouldn't allow him to see her, but wanted my husband to pay half of all her bills and pay child support without him ever knowing his daughter. it had come to the point where he thought, since she didn't know him anyways, that the best thing to do would be to give up his rights and let another man adopt her. the problem was that she was not married so this couldn't be done. he still can't see her, although he's overseas at the moment, and really isn't even sure that the child is his and she won't give him a paternity test. it's a difficult decision to make and you and your husband really need to sit and talk and pray about this before letting this other man take his place and adopt him. the two of you need to decide if it's worth fighting for to see this child or if it would be better on the child and everyone else just to give up his rights. good luck and keep us posted on this. God bless

I divorced two years ago. We never quarrelled at the face of my daughter.We signed the papers friendly and are friends now. My Ex can visit my daughter whenever he wants and my daughter likes. We no longer love each other but we love our daughter. We get together to have diner to make my daugther happy. Now I have a boyfriend, who likes my daughter very much. He usually put her on his shoulder and walk around with my daughter laughing and screaming. My boyfriend and I will get married this year and I am sure he will be a very good stepfather.

i dont know if i am right to say this i am currently single we are all human and we all do make mistake every now and then. but dropping the child on the head is alittle way too much to take it. but take it at the point of view of the bio-father. do he really want to take the child back if the child is doing fine at the current state? if so why want to add the mental stress to the kid if the kid is doing fine? if the child be badly/ill treated then i think he should take the kid back and give what the kid should have like any other child. sorry if i have gone out of the point

NO, I dont think that they are good for the kids sake. They will always have to be moved all the time and it is just bad for them. Also for the parents to miss him when he is gone and all of that. NO