Is your love unconditional?
By catjane
@catjane (1036)
United States
March 2, 2008 9:55am CST
I think love should be unconditional. Sometimes it's hard because we want our partners to be a certain way. The best way to love someone is unconditionaly (like we do our kids) Too many people put conditions on their loved ones and then they have to live up to your expectations. For example, a man marries a thin woman, after a few years of childbirth, she puts on some weight. The man tells her she's fat and undesirable. He should love her as much when he married her as a thin woman, that's unconditional love. We shouldn't love people just because they look a certain way or have certain problems.
4 responses
@Shawchert (1094)
• United States
2 Mar 08
In ways I do agree with you, but in other ways, well I'm not so sure.
I hate to say it there are some turnoffs that I have and if someone turns out to have that turn off... well it's not something I'd be trying to work out, only because if that's the way that person is, and wants to be I will not force them to be that way, but the love for that person will more than likely deminish... that's how life is... especially with people who are not your family, but that's the way I feel, I've only left people who have been abusive to me, or who I find that I didn't truely love. I've only loved one man, and he is unreachable now, but I think I'm starting to fall for someone else and he may just be the one. :)
But anyway the reason there really isn't unconditional love is because of turn on's and offs, not everyone has the same one. I'm a turn off to myself because of the flabby parts of my body from having my son, still trying to work it off, but I fee dirty... and I can't imagine being with a man who ends up that way... I may sound like a bad person but that's how it is.
@catjane (1036)
• United States
2 Mar 08
No, I don't think you are a bad person and you can love or not love whomever you want. I just feel that real love is unconditional and it shouldn't matter if someone doesn't have a perfect body and a perfect personality because you know what, there is no such beast. We all have our flaws. In order to truly love someone you have to look beyond those flaws. You are not alone. Not many people have the true capability to do this. If you are finding things wrong with your mate, then it isn't "real" love. Real love rarely happens, that's why the divorce rate is so high.
@Shawchert (1094)
• United States
2 Mar 08
That's true. because the man i said was the only I loved, there were definitely flaws (I know and understand anyone and everyone has a flaw) but i looked past them to the man he really was and the man I loved and anything new that popped up was always pushed back. I'm starting to feel the same for the one that I'm with now, so lets hope i'm done with having to get hurt or hurt people as well. I just wish to find that one and settle down. I've never married and I won't unless I know I can feel that way. I just wish life was as perfect as I wish it was but i know it isn't.
@catjane (1036)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Life can never be perfect and either can relationships. This is where "unconditional" love comes in. Because we pick partners that do have flaws, because as humans, we all do, then we have to learn to love them in spite of their flaws. Mind you there is a line that can be drawn as far as what you should put up with. No woman should ever put up with being abused, either emotionally or physically. That's where the line is drawn. Don't worry about your flab, just enjoy your son and be proud to be his mom. He loves you unconditionally!
@Candy056 (17)
• China
4 Mar 08
ye,I do think that unconditional love is very good,very perfect, however,be practical, it's really hard or even impossible to find the unconditional love or to love someone unconditionally. Besides,do you think that if you love someone and have some requirements toward him, then yor love is not true? I love my boyfriend, but I have to admit thati can't stand some of his bad habits, I hope he can get rid of these bad habits,and sometimes we even quarrel because of this,but I love him of course,very much
@catjane (1036)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Yes, that's exactly what I am saying. True love, which is rare requires uncondtional love. I'm not saying that any other kind of love won't work and it is pretty much a fantasy about real true love. No two people are a perfect match, but then that's where the "unconditional" comes in. They say if you really love someone "uncondtionally" then no flaws of theirs will bother you and will be totally accepted. This is why real true love is so rare because it hardly ever happens. We all fall in love with people we shouldn't be with and love them anyway, or we think it's love. Whose to say eh! If your boyfriend has habits that are causing you to quarrel, then maybe he is not the right partner for you? Always remember, you do deserve the best and should always strive for it!
@rookiekan (882)
• China
2 Mar 08
yehp,love should be unconditional.but who can promiss a man or a woman will keep the promiss of love,god do?one of my friend have a beautiful girlfriend,and he express his most desired love to that girl in the first place,but after they come together,my friend always ask his gf should be or not should be,his gf told me yesterday,she was very sad about his behavior on her.but what they should do now
