My Mother gets worried in this situation....

I'd put my foot right down and say," NO" to an arranged marriage. This is rediculous! Maybe your parents don't know any better but you do. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with an "arranged" partner. How primitive that would be. There's a good chance he would drag you around by your hair, and make you walk two steps behind him when you went anywhere. God Bless!

I know what you mean! When I was getting old, let me rephrase that... when I was starting to mature (hehe) and was already at marrying age, my mom would always kid me about getting married. She'd keep asking me when do I plan to get married, when will I give her grandkids, etc. etc. When the day came that I finally told her I was, she stopped nagging me. Now she nags my older sister... hehe I guess my mom just like yours, wants to see that their child have a good and secure future ahead of them. A good future to them would mean a family of their own. Yeah, I know, not being married doesn't necessarily mean that your future isn't going to be as great, but I guess to them this is what gives them the peace of mind... that we have a family of our own to take care of and our own family to take care of us.

You know pretty well that in India, the culture is encircled in family, procreation, furtherance etc. We have defintiely no faith in having relationship, yet not married. Many of my relatives have gone in for love marriage and most of them are miserable failures in retaining the realtinship. I donot say the success rate is low, but one has to see the other side. Parents have changed over the years. They allow the children to choose a partner, so that they can talk to the partner's parents and arragne for marriage. I coin this as arranged love marriage. There are certain thigns like marriage, child etc. have to happen at right time. Otherwise it looses its charm. My brother married at the age of 45 and his first child was at 47 and he cannot act as young energetic and enthusiastic father, to meet the emotional requirement of the child. Similarly there are so many hurdles, if women gets married late. The perfect marriageable age would be between 22-28 for girls and 25-30 for boys. Everything else can be planned properly, if one marries during the suggested time. You can always choose a person of your choice and tell your parents about your choice. am sure they understand and act accordingly.

Awh honey, I so feel for you! Indian mothers are never happy. When you're a teenager they worry about you dating boys and doing something stupid like falling pregnant out of wedlock. Then when their friends' children start get married they start to worry that you'll be left on the shelf forever, even when you're 22 LOL! As soon as you find someone, they'll worry about how everyone will enjoy the wedding and they worry about that from the day you meet your future husband till well after the actual wedding. Then of course, as soon as you're married, they'll be worried that you're not pregnant yet, is there something wrong with your bits inside that you're not producing a baby yet? Oh then, of course, when you pop one out, they'll be all in a tizz worried about when you're going to pop a baby brother or sister for their darling grandchild as they don't want them to grow up as an only child and they'll be lonely, etc. Of course they will always have something to worry about, how you look after your baby, how you educate your child, how you discipline your child, is the child too spoilt, are you wearing the right sort of clothes, are you being a good wife, are your in-laws happy with your behaviour, etc. Mothers worry hun, it's what they do. If your mum didn't worry, you'd worry that she's not normal LOL!

And Subha... Firstly i must ask about your Dad's health.How is he? And certainly the feelings of your parents are realistic and by the same time there is no necessity for them to get panic and it is upto you to plan your life and you may tell them about your plans and when you want to marry.. your goals.. ambitions etc.. and accordingly you can along with your parents, come to a conclusion.

do you still live at home?either way just assure them that when the time is right for you and you meet that special person someday you will consider marriage.at least that may shut them up and you can have a happy day.susu22

well if you are 25, then your parents still have some years left before they actually start tearing their hair and you start worrying about your biological clock ticking away. I would say 29/30 would be the ideal age for career women to get married. You can enjoy married bliss for 3 or 4 years and then have kids so the by time you are 50, your kid would be around 15 or 16. Good enough. PS: Seeing Tua’s photos, I thought you were already married,

i guess its a natural reaction for parent to be like that..since they want you to be in a good hands before leaving..you know what i mean i guess...and also the excitement to see their future grandchildren...

I don't think there should be. I don't know how your country works but I don't think marriages will work unless you love and care about the person you are marring.

Before anything else, I'd like to say that baby on your avatar is absolutely adorable! Anyway, you're still young, I don't think there's any point in panicking about getting married at this point in time. It seems like you are really enjoying your youth. That's a blessing. Parents are simply always concerned about the welfare of their children. But don't let that trouble you much. Take your time until you've finally found the right person to share the rest of your life with. That way, you'll never find yourself regretting the decision you made for yourself. Good Luck!

Hello dear subha. I can understand your parents who get tensed about your marriage. It is the same with many Chinese parents in China. When their sons and daughters reach the age of 25 or above without getting married, they would urge them to get someone whom they love to get married. It seems that it is common case to parents. But nowadays many young people would not like to get married young. They would choose to get married when they have got enough money or when their business or career is already on the way to a normal way as they wish. Many people prefer to get married around their thirties or over. I have a few colleagues who got married in their early thirties, but I have to say that they are men, not women. Women tend to get married as late as around 28 or more. I think that it is very normal for young people to marry late in life as they expect to have more success and more energy in their career or business before they start to take their marriage into consideration. I have no idea what I will be like when my son is old enough in many years. Maybe I will be the same or different. Who knows? It is hard for me to say about what I will be like by then. Lol.

No, I do not think that your parents should be panicking. It is, after all, your life and your happiness. You should not get married unless and until you find the right person, and you are sure that you want to spend your life with them. Marry only when and if you are in love with someone. It's YOUR choice!

Subha, Your name suggests that you are from India. Indian parents are highly worried when their daughter is not married at the right age. They are not panicked but are concerned, they are worried what will happen if they dont get you married at the right age. Ingeneral the Indian soceity will keep asking prospective girl's parent's as to when they have plans to get their daughter married. It is not the case with many other countries, but Indian culture and soceity is absolutely different. Also your parents want you to start your own family and have your kids. How many grandchildren they might have, they always want to have more grandchildren and play with them. Try to be in their shoes and try to understand their situation rather than thinking from your angle alone.

I don't think there's a reason to panic. You just have to enjoy life. Getting married is a serious thing that you alone can decide on...

I think your parents care about you seeing as you are a close family. They are probably worried that you have no relationship and want to take steps to start the ball rolling to arrange a marriage for you. It might take some time. I'm sure, they are more worried with your father's recent illness and stay in hospital that somethiong might happen to one of them and you would be left to support your family. Or else they are just trying to get rid of you....lol...just joking.

your mother just want you to be settled, like have a husband and kids, have a family that will take care of you when you grow old. seeing her children to be settled and happy is a mother's joy. she wouldn't worry if she knows that her children are happily living with their family. my mother doesn't worry about me yet being a spinster although i'm already 25. but she is kinda hinting that she wants me to have a boyfriend because its been a long time since i had one. maybe when i reached the age of 28 she'll start making a fuss about me having a family too. ^__^;;

Great opportunity. Get married now. lolz (kidding) But you need to trust your mom on this one. I know you want your privacy and you feel she is over reacting. The news if filled with 16 year old girls that are assaulted, raped, abused, or even killed around the world. It is easy to feel "that won't happened to me", but trust me, that's what all those girls were thinking too. Take advantage of your opportunity, and understand what a blessing it is, but you need to compromise with your mother I don't blame her for being worried. Every mom would be when it comes to letting go their children especially the daughter but she is just over panicking/worrying/whatsoever.

When I was single, my parents also had this worries. Sometimes they asked me to find a boyfriend etc. As you know, it is not easy to find the right one at all. It really takes the time.

I think your mother is just concern about you. And that concern recently has another item coming in - anxiety, I think this is a norm as our parents can sometimes be too over anxious and forgot how to express themselves. I suggest that you stand firm and not be swept off by this sudden barrage. However, I must remind you to try and work on your social avenues.Start being open and approachable not forgetting to relax and take things 1 step at a time.

How old are you? Knowing what I know now I'd say wait till your at least in your mid-twenties to get married! If they're so concerned maybe they can set you up on a blind date or two.... I know I wouldn't want to marry a stranger.