"My Pen is my Friend, but a Soul would be Better"

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"My Pen is my Friend, but a Soul would be Better" Why is it that we most hurt, the ones that most we love? Why do I stay silent? Even when yearning for a hug. When the world is crashing down, all I do is shug. Drinking like a fool, until I've passed out on the rug. I ask myself: How is it that I feel so sad inside? Having pleasantness, should not make you go run and hide. Feeling like your actions are a futile emotional motion. Loosing all aspects of correct and true devotion. My Lover, I will never understand the way she loves. Stays in firm position, regardless of being shoved. My feeling, they would hit any soul like a stone. But her, light has not diminished, more light has shone. Here I stand regretfull over how I treat loved ones. I stay firmly distant, even if they remained stunned. Because I dont act like they do and how they say. I dont know how it is to make these feelings go away. But sure enough, I hold true intentions in my heart. I just dont know, how to set my bad feelings apart. The worry that I hold inside is what makes me want to hide. If I dont leave an imprint, how will they know I was alive. Sometimes I write because of feelings and to feel better. But other times I write because I want to be remembered. I want people to know that I am not empty inside. I want people to know that I had something worth to write. I guess no matter who we are, we always seek attention. I find that in my heart I want to hold loving affection. I want to collect a group of people with whom to sit. All I want is for some love.. by my heart be hit. I'll keep on writing and hope that I will gain attention. My love, in return, is for those giving a well reception. ZeN