do you allow your kids to dress how they choose

March 11, 2008 5:09am CST
my twelve year old son thinks he's old enough to dress himself and generally has his own opinion on what length his hair should be and everything else to do with his body ,he feels i should have no say but sometimes i don't like what he wears and the length of his hair annoys me so we do get into arguments over it should i just leave him alone or should i demand that he looks how i want him to look.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@dtroas (479)
• United States
11 Mar 08
With him being 12 years old. I do agree who should have some say as to what he want to wear, and how he wants his hair, but with you being a parent if there is something that he is wearing that is not suitable for him, then maybe you should stand up and let him No you are the boss, Do not argue with a 12 year old then just walk away from it. You are the parent. Anyways what kind of clothes is it that he wears that you do not like? what way does he wear his hair?
11 Mar 08
he wears alot of gangsta looking clothes and he wears his hair long and its curly so it looks so untidy
1 person likes this
@dtroas (479)
• United States
11 Mar 08
The gangster look I do not like. Maybe you need to set and have a talk with him without arguing. Explain to him as long as you live in my home we are going to agree on what you wear out the door.
1 person likes this
• Bahamas
14 Mar 08
mabe your son is trying to find his identity. as a parent i sometimes dont agree with what my kids choose to wear. and having teenagers you can imagine some of the battles i've had to fight. but i've learn to let them win sometimes. i most definitly draw the line at showing to much skin though. i use the argument of " now why would you want to draw attention from that lovly face?"and that usally wins me that fight. what i'm trying to say is give him a little room to grow and express himself...and trust that you've taught him well.
@pumpkinjam (8763)
• United Kingdom
12 Mar 08
I think you should advise but not tell him because otherwise he will rebel anyway! My oldest son is 8 and he more or less chooses what he wants to wear but I still buy his clothes so he can't wear anything I don't like! But there are times when I have to tell him to change because he looks funny or because his trousers are too short. You shouldn't demand that he looks how you want. He needs his own personality and individuality and at 12, he is just discovering what that is. As for hair, you can't make him do what you want. I'd be leniant on that and say that as long as it is clean, it's ok. Either you will get used to whatever he decides or he will change it if he's only doing it because you don't want him to.
@julievy (593)
• United States
12 Mar 08
You have to pick your battles. It's only hair, it's only clothing. I used to let me kids dress the way that they wanted to and do whatever they wanted to their hair - none of it is permanant. I did draw the line at piercings and tattoos. Both of them eventually outgrew the goofy hairstyles and clothing when they started getting interested in girls.