Why Can't You Just Let It Go?

If I said no, then I'd by lying. But yes sometimes there are things that I can't let go of. I don't really know why, I guess because it was such an upsetting situation that I never truly got over it or forgot about it. My husband and I are still miffed over something that happend back in 2003, but this something was actually a very very bad thing, and unfortunatly we will never get over it, because the people who did this never apologized and ruin a big part of our life.

No. Actually, I am a very forgiving person. This has often caused me much pain and trouble. However, I am happy that I am able to forgive and put it behind me. I believe that people who are unable to do so are harming themselves. All the bitterness that they hold inside is like a cancer eating them up from the inside out, in my opinion.

I think it really depends on what the "something" is really...I'm usually pretty good at getting past things BUT that doesnt mean I dont file it away (what happened) in my brain for later reference should I need it (and that has unfortunately happened)....but I dont hold a grudge..I mean if its something large enough for me to need to hold a grudge then I feel its time to completely re-evaluate the friendship overall ya know... I have to say though that I know a few ppl who WERE in my life who've done crap like that to me adn I just ended the friendships eventually..I'm a straight up person..if you have an issue with me SAY SO...DO NOT give me the impression that everything is squared up when it really isnt..I have no time for that sort of thing ya know..I'm not in grade school anymore for crying out loud!

This was me several years ago. I had a disagreement with a classmate, about 20 years ago. I saw her about 4 years going through a rough time, and I felt so bad that I just went over to her and start up a conversation. I promise myself then, I will make a change. Life is to short to hold grudges that's now my motto. Minimize the negative, and accentuate the positive.

I will say that I am a grudge holder. I am still mad at my step-mom for treating me different and making me an outcast over issues that are out of my control EXAMPLE- her kids are all over weight and under 6ft tall. The oldest weighs in at 566 right now, and the step mom constantly tells me that my 120lb frame looks bad on our family. I will never meet anyone, and I will never be happy. She has degraded my kids because all but one are skinny, and she has done the same thing to my other two biological siblings. They are too skinny. Genetics is the reason "we won't amount to anything or find someone to love us", not ignorance. I hate her everyday for this, and my dad is "blinded by love". My friends are totally different. I can talk to them about what I am mad about and I let it go. Funny the different situations have different outcomes. Yes, I still hate her, even after i got that off my chest!! Good Subject though.

No at all. Life is too short to fall out. I cannot remember the last time I actually fell out with someone that I wasn't married to. My view is to kiss and make up ASAP. Real friends will, the others, you don't need.

Not unless it hasn't been cleared up. If we've talked it out and all points have been cleared...or an apology rendered where it is necessary, I usually forget about the issue. It is awkward the first few days after many days of being miffed at each other...but we soon get used to it and go back to our old jolly selves. I've had such incidents a couple of times and it's all good now....even one where I swore I will never speak or look at those people ever again. But I also have to say that it doesn't work if only ONE person decides to let it go and forget about the whole thing. It works both ways.

i really hate to explain myself so much to a friend, most especially if we are chatting about the usual stuffs and he would be too nosey and ask me stuffs i dont like to talk about. i hate being so open to people and i feel i can never be like that to anyone. and i agree that there are these people who just can't get over simple things... and sometimes it gets really anoying. :(

I guess it depends on what it is and who its with, if its someone i've been friends with a long time then i wont let something crappy and little come between us.. I am pretty lax about most things.. If its hubby, i tend to stay mad for a while.. but he lets go quick, so then i think well if he dont care why should i, and then we're over it. lol. If it's someone i barely know, or could care less about if we stay friends, i just let them go on being mad at me. who cares :P

I'm afraid I'm guilty of this. Sometimes I still harbor a grudge even after making up, though to a lesser degree. The reason probably is because it wasn't satisfactorily explained or I didn't really hear what I wanted to hear. But I try to avoid bringing up the topic unless the other person provokes it.

I used to have a really big probably with holding onto grudges and not letting them go. I was really bad about it, and I made a lot of my relationships with a lot of people, friends and family included, worse than they needed to be. Then I grew up a little, matured a little, and realized, that just like I have changed, other people change too. I would want someone I had wronged to give me another chance, so I need to give the people who have wronged me another chance. It's only right, and it's only fair. You have to give what you want to get. I'm not saying to let people manipulate and use you. You should definitely use discretion, but also be compassionate and sympathetic. If they seem genuine, then don't be afraid to give them another shot, or to make the first step and apologize for your wrong doing, no matter if theirs was worse than yours or not.

depends of what me and friend are talking about if it was something small say like a bill for lunch and i had to pay when my friend that he'll pay ill let that slide no problem but if its like something towards the serious say as my GF was cheating with my friend than no ill never let that go , sure the both of em will be outta my life but no i wouldnt let it go cause it will still be in my mind

yes i am basically that type of person . i just can't let go and cant forget stuff . i ussually remember most of the things done or said to me and i really cant get over something if it really angered me . some things that could get me this way is being disrespectful to me , lying to me , if it's friends that have lied to me it's ten times harder to let go. that's something i cant stand . i hope you'll start talking again with your friend, but if she is the kind of person like i am and if you really done something bad to her dont expect that to be soon ..good luck though

I would be a hypocrite if I will say NO. There are some issues in my life that really hurt me most or wounded me deeply. If one ask for forgiveness, who am i not to. But some issues were left unresolved or just by chance our path have cross no more. Sometimes the hurt still there, yet as much as possible i dont want to hold grudge over someone. I normally pray that if sometime in the future we meet, I will have the will to do the first move. It would be best to have closure over a dispute.

i think this depends on how strong mentally you are. Also it depends how far the situation has affected your life. there are in many cases where i am able to forget the difference say after few days. But there is some case where it has left a long scar.. May be i will not able to forget that whole life. it also depends how much emotional I am.

I like to get things sorted out then and there and after we have made up then let it go. I had a falling out with a friend, well not that close of a friend (my husbands best friends fiance) and even though it was over something stupid, she took it to heart, I apologised, she accepted but told me it will take time for her to get over it. I accepted that and let it go. We have been in contact since but our friendship is not the same, but that is ok, I am fine with it even if she still holds a grudge. It's her problem not mine. Time to move on.

It all depends on the severity and how bad my trust has been damaged. I tend to hold on to things longer with the people that I am closest to. My husband and I are going to counseling so we stop hiding the stuff from the past under the rug and deal with it so we can move on. I hold onto pain from the past far longer than he does, but he inflicts it more! It's nothing as bad as cheating or anything but we do have trust issues that we are working on. So far so good. I REALLY want to let stuff go, I just need to learn how!

No I'm not..the first thing I do is let it go once I fought my fight. But my ex has a diffferent perspective. Just this morning I got a 6 page rant on what a horrible human being I am for going to school while I have kids because I don't have a lot of time for them. What??? I make time for them and he has no idea what I do- I stay up until 4am sometimes doing homework and then get up at 8 with my kids. Crap like that..he hates me and so be it but he can't let it go and hate me without letters and phone calls that I don't even answer anymore. Next step I will have to change the email addy I have had for 7 years! I wish some people could just let it go and be happy without me. After all, I'm way happier without them!

It just depends what it is, I have 2 disagreements that I cant let go of. Well actually they are a little more than disagreements. The first was that a good friend of mine knew that my husband was having an affair, she worked with the girl in question and also knew that I was friends with the girl involved and never told me. All the things I did for her, I stuck up for her constantly and would have done anything for her. We hadnt seen each other a lot for the last few years but still I always told her I was there if she needed me. Her excuse for not telling me was that it was none of her business, even though she saw this girl everday and must have known every gory detail, but she never said one word. Even though she would see me up town and listen to me saying what a nice girl this other thing was. So yes I wont let go of that. The other is the girl who was having a fling with my husband. She went out of her way to be my friend, having coffee with me, nights out, going out with our kids, when knowing all the time what she was doing,making me trust her and letting me think I had a good friend. I see her nearly every day and walk past her house nearly every day and I will never let go of that either and this was all over and done with a year ago. But I guess some things you just cant let go of.

Well the thing is, if she can't let it go, it isn't over and done with in her mind. Could be because she's one of these people who has to chew things over for a while or could be because she didn't really communicate well with you about how she felt or what she thought the real problem was. Or that something occurred to her later that bothered her? Who knows? Only she does...