Comunication with parents
@RowenaTheWitch (947)
Italy
March 12, 2008 3:15pm CST
I share with you something happened today 
:
At dinner I had already eaten something else and I was going to eat a plate full of carrots (I've bought a packet of baby carrots peeled and I wanted to try them).
My father told me not to eat all of them coz it would have caused me a bellyache.
I replied "don't worry dad, I know what I'm doing."
He said at least 100 times the same thing over and over
I replied "You just don't have to say to me how I have to eat!"
He repeated another 100 times the same thing.
I think I would have stopped after feeling full but I ate everything just in spite.
And now I have a bellyache and I knew it was coming (but I've not said anything to him 
).
I acted very childish 
but he should learn I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm 23 and graduated! If you think I'm crazy then think that he behaves like that every single day and minute.
[b]What would you have done in the place of me or of my father?
What do you think must be done to avoid these problems of communication?
[/b]
[i]
Psicology Corner:
This is a classic problem of communication (I've read a similar example on a psycology book): in a phrase said by someone there's a component of mere facts and a component of relationship. The mere facts were "don't eat them, it hurts", the relationship message is "I'm your father, I know what is best for you and you don't". I reacted to the last one and he doesn't understand that the problem wasn't what I was going to eat but the fact I don't want to be treated like a 2 year old.[/i]
:
At dinner I had already eaten something else and I was going to eat a plate full of carrots (I've bought a packet of baby carrots peeled and I wanted to try them).
My father told me not to eat all of them coz it would have caused me a bellyache.
I replied "don't worry dad, I know what I'm doing."
He said at least 100 times the same thing over and over
I replied "You just don't have to say to me how I have to eat!"
He repeated another 100 times the same thing.
I think I would have stopped after feeling full but I ate everything just in spite.
And now I have a bellyache and I knew it was coming (but I've not said anything to him ).
I acted very childish but he should learn I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm 23 and graduated! If you think I'm crazy then think that he behaves like that every single day and minute.
[b]What would you have done in the place of me or of my father?
What do you think must be done to avoid these problems of communication?
[/b]
[i]
Psicology Corner:
This is a classic problem of communication (I've read a similar example on a psycology book): in a phrase said by someone there's a component of mere facts and a component of relationship. The mere facts were "don't eat them, it hurts", the relationship message is "I'm your father, I know what is best for you and you don't". I reacted to the last one and he doesn't understand that the problem wasn't what I was going to eat but the fact I don't want to be treated like a 2 year old.[/i]2 responses
@klaudyou (501)
•
12 Mar 08
Your father gave you a good advice, then...all right!
It's certain that something in his way of saying that troubled your ego, attempted to your self-esteem, but still...yo have to listen to what is right. You should have found a way to stop eating and at the same time to not satisfy his wish...you would have found a way if you tried. You should have convinced him that repeating one thing for hundreds of times is not very useful and it will only make you dissobey.
The communication problem is yours, then, more than his. or maybe not, but you should come up with a solution since it seems that this problem bothers you more than him.
For instance...why don't you find a way to make him trust you? You are 23 now, you should get along well with your parents.
Maybe this answer is not what you expected from a 25 years old, but i think it's right.
@rockvixen (894)
• United States
12 Mar 08
After awhile I think parents will be parents. My mother still does the same to me, she tells me what to eat and what not to eat, but I eat what I want to eat, not what she wants me to. You are an adult and you do have a right to do what you want to do, but I think your father was just watchng out for you, he gave you a warning and you failed to follow it. As parents they still want to protect you and help you and as their child, adult or not, you should at least when you are around them just eat what they tell you. It may not be easy but that's how it works with my mother.
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