Have you ever felt guilty when you have to say NO to your kid ?
By jlsolbrich
@jlsolbrich (42)
Germany
March 12, 2008 7:46pm CST
They say that being a mother is no easy task, especially on the way we try to teach good manners and values.
As parents, we always want to give our kids the best, but there are times that we mothers have to say NO to our kids for them to learn some specific values. We have to be firm on some words and rules that we make --that is one of our role , being the disciplinarian.
It already became a habit for me to make a recap of what happend for the whole day. Everytime i remember the disappointment on my daughter´s face, that is the time the feeling of guilt hits me . I feel like i am being such a bad mother by saying NO and stick with the rules i made instead of say YES.
Am i the only one who feels this feeling of GUILT?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@kellys3ps (3723)
• United States
16 Mar 08
No! You are not the only one! I have had this problem since the day my first child was born! LOL! I think this is my hardest task in being a parent. It breaks my heart when they stick out their bottom lip and start to cry when I have to tell them no. Even though I hate doing it, it is something that has to be done - I am the parent, and I know better then they do!
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@Swaana (1205)
• India
16 Mar 08
Dont feel guitly. I too was feeling so initially when I had to say no to my daughter. But when I saw the good things I have implicited on her, I never ever said yes to my son. I say NO firmly and very firmly and I stick to it. This have given good results.
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
14 Mar 08
there are times that i feel guilty for telling my children no, especially when it comes to something they want and i don't have the money to get it for them. it's hard on them because they don't understand that money is an issue at times and it really makes me want to sit down and cry because there are many times i can't just say sure go on and get it. they make me feel bad because they don't understand that i can't afford it at the time, but when i'm able to it brings me great joy to see the happiness on their faces. God bless
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@Mamagee (392)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 08
I think we should not feel guilty by saying no to our children. We want them to behave themselves and should stick to the rule doesnt mean that we are cruel to them. We have a right to make them respect us, respect people and respect all the rules. We are not a bad mother, but we are trying to make them good and well disciplined. I know it quite hard but we have to. I sometimes feel the same thing and when i think it back, we should make a right thing for the sake of our children behaviour. We cannot say yes all the time because this will spoilt them.
@nova1945 (1612)
• United States
13 Mar 08
The guilt you feel never goes away, but the pride you feel when you see your child has learned the lesson you had to teach her will never go away either. Mine is 35 now and I am so proud of the woman she has finally become. We don't always agree on some things, but she thinks about her decisions now and I believe at least some of that is because she wasn't handed everything she ever wished for on a silver platter with no strings attached.
@jlsolbrich (42)
• Germany
15 Mar 08
I know what you mean, I grew up in a very conservative family and when i was young, I always ask myself why my parents would not give or buy us everything we want even if we can afford them . I used to envy some of my friends before since if they want something, all they got to do is ask for it while i have to work for it (like getting perfect scores in exams ) really hard before i get something extra from my parents. My dad used to say " You should learn that you can never have everything you desire even if they are within your reach "--these words are still fresh in my mind and i guess will always be there as long as i live .
Thanks for sharing me your thoughts
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@heidibur (310)
• United States
15 Mar 08
Thanks mom !!!
But I was handed everything until my life went - lets say a little CRAZY - and then my mom said no I think that was the best thing she could have ever done because I had to stand on my own and I dont think I would be where I am today if it wasn't for her. I put myself thru school and now have a great bussiness that has tripled over the last year.
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