how do you refuse someone you don't love

I really agree with you.Because someone you don't love has payed his or her love already,that is the truth and reality.Refusing them directly can hurt them a lot,I think.However,to refuse implicitly can lessen it to be extent.It is very important to find a proper reason to refuse them,because you do have the rights to pursue your omn happiness.

Well, I am very frank person. If someone is obviously giving hints on how they feel and I know it, I would tell him immediately. I wouldn't give him false hopes because it would hurt him more later on. I might as well be honest about how I truly feel than to lie just to make him feel good. Nice discussion.

I also don't wanted to hurt who loves me. Although i try to keep my friendship with her, and probably during the friendship i told her that i love someone else and also try to make my friendship further up just like as a close friend. Cheers!!!

I would go to the straight to the point or let me say directly- It is just a matter of choosing the right words. You can be direct without being abrupt or disrespectful for what the person might feel. It is just how you will use your technique. I have talked to some of my guy friends and you know when they want/love a girl, they can feel if they have a chance or not with the girl. Men speaks direct to the point, so I guess they can handle and will appreciate you telling it directly rather than making them read between the lines, i guess it is not their way.

In my case, I also prefer to refuse them implicitly, but there are times when being direct is better. It actually depends on the situation on how you would reject someone. I remember that there was a time that I refused someone implicitly by letting him see that to me he's just like an older brother. The other time, I had to refuse him directly because he just couldn't get the point that I was trying to put across. But if the situation wasn't like that, I would rather refuse a person by letting him feel that the relationship could never work out, that the most that we could be is just friends.

If there is anybody love me whom I don't love,I will do it like you.Because I thing it's waste time and money for them.

i think i would refuse in polite way. so that the person have nothing against me.I did that exactly to a so called friend who proposed me. i declined him as i don't have any feelings as such for him.

I have never been in this position but I would do what you do, "refuse them implicitly."I think being direct is the best thing to do.

I know my way is not the best, but I tend to use it. I will decline someone who I won't love. I don't want to waste others' time, so I will say it directly. If I don't say it clearly, then others may think they still have a chance. And finally perhaps they will be hurt much more.

Well, I am very frank person. If someone is obviously giving hints on how they feel and I know it, I would tell him immediately. I wouldn't give him false hopes because it would hurt him more later on. I might as well be honest about how I truly feel than to lie just to make him feel good. Nice discussion.

As for me, I will be situational here. I do agree that we need to be tactful with our feelings for people around us. However, matters of the heart is really sometimes quite a task at times. Being a man here, I need to be firm sometimes as much as I am aware of the other party's soft side, I do not like to procastinate and misled the other party's feelings. So I believer of being firm and tactful. However, I will remain as a friend - casual one that is. Though we may not be together as life partners but I am sure we can always be friends.

I don't want to hurt anybody so as much as possible I try to give indirect but polite actions that I'm not interested in him. But sometimes, there are some who can't pick up what I mean or just really don't want to give up. So, for those who are very insistent, I do tell them straight but in a soft manner that we will be better off as friends. I'll tell him the truth that I don't love him. It may to hurt his feelings but I think is better that way. It will be unfair for him if I continue entertaining him when in the end I cannot reciprocate his feelings for me.

i think we should tell him i do not love him straightly ,i think it is good for everyone

The best way is to get married your lover. If that guy realize he has no hope, I think he will give up.

i tell them that i am already attached or tell them that we can always be friends. however we say or refuse them, if they truly feel something for you, they will always be hurt. the least i can do is to offer friendship and mean it.

I believe, it is better to tell the truth, then to hide it or cover it under the wrap. It would be in the fitness of things to tell about your rejection directly. Keeping someone in dark is not appreciated. If someone says to me that she is in love with me and I, am incidentally not, I would politely but firmly tell her that - look, I am not in a position to continue the realtionship. This way, she may feel bad, but she would feel bad once only....she will make her understand, as the time would pass and she will come to terms with realities. Good Post!

I think it depends on what kind of person he is,if he`s the kind of sensiblity,then i can refuse him implicitly,better to keep on relationship of friends;but if he always make trouble out of nothing,i will tell him the fact directly!

i also love the latter, but i can't control myself. if i meet a man i don't love i tell myself to be friend with him but everything is clear on my expression at once. so it's hard for me to deny a person implicitly, but i really like to make them feel much friendship.

I think to refuse implicitly is both better for the person and ourselves, except this, i think maybe we can say this way, like "can we be friends not lover, because it may be more suitable to be friend for us", if we can make friends then, it will be the best result. On one hand, he knows the person he pursued is not the right one,he can have chance to find others more suitable for him; on another hand, we express our true feelling, meanwhile maybe we can have a good friend.