Getting a divorce...
By sexysilver
@sexysilver (928)
United States
March 12, 2008 9:37pm CST
I've been with my husband for 3 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old, a 1 1/2 year old, and an 8 month old. Now my husband is filing for divorce. We still see each other and hang out, and pretty much act like we're dating. But he wants to hide it from his dad. We are 22 years old!!! But a car crashed into our home back in August 2007, and we were pretty much left with no choice but to move in with his dad. Everything was fine for awhile. But his dad was real pushy about wanting us to convert to the Morman religion. And when we didn't problems began. He would point out to me that my husband was sooooo lazy, trying to cause problems. When that didn't cause enough problems, he started making me out to seem like I was permiscuious (which I wasn't), and my husband eventualy started drifting away and later filed for divorce.
Is it just me? Is there a chance of saving my marriage? How can I nudge my husband to stand up to his dad & stop hiding the fact that he sneaks away from his dad's to see me? He has even brought up getting back together in a few months.
???
2 people like this
8 responses
@Ambur25 (1006)
• United States
13 Mar 08
I hate to be so blunt, but it sounds like your husband is doing this just because of his father. Most people say, "It's not you, it's me." I think if he said that to you, it would actually be the truth. Lol.
I would sit down with him one on one and ask him point blank, "Why do you want a divorce?" Ask him to give you specifics. Then, if it's reasonable, ask if you were to accept his terms, would he consider stopping the divorce. But, if his answers seem to have everything to do with how his dad thinks, just get to the bottom of it and discuss it like adults. Anything can be worked out through love. ;]
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
13 Mar 08
I am sorry that you are having so much trouble with your husband, but is he worthy of the title because it seems to me he wants to grow up and stand up to his father and put his children first, its ridiculous and its not fair on you and your children. They are so young as well its the last thing you need. You should definately give him an ultimatum and tell him he either wants to be a husband and a father or he just goes back to his dads and lives by his rules but make him choose. Maybe if he thinks that you are not going to put up with it no longer then it might shock him into action, you are so young and its not fair that you should put up with this.
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
13 Mar 08
My suggestion is if you and your husband really wants to make this work I would have to say you need to move out of his dads house and move into your own.. that way you can live your own lives and raise your children the way you want too and you don't have anyone telling you what to do... Of course that is just my oppion... I do understand the fact that it's not easy I'm 28 my husband works and yes things are tight but we do manage to live on our own and when things happen, which they have 4 years ago we had to move.. Our situation wasn't the greatest either... We went from free rent to 500.00 a month for rent.. As I've stated the only way to get out of situations like this and be together is to get your own home and be happy... Again just my oppion!
@mizcash (685)
• Canada
13 Mar 08
My dear, no pon intended but your husband is acting like a whip. He is letting his father manipulate him and he is afraid to stand up to him on the issues that are affecting your marriage. Listen, onnce this divorce is final it is final, he wont be back unless it's for the occassional booty call. Your options are to talk things out nd get away from that father in law so you can have a chance. Him forcing you to accept the mormon faith is not going to save you, it has to be your choice. My best of luck to you and I will pray forn you.
@sashuangqingfeng (103)
• China
13 Mar 08
I had read your words carefully.You have ever had a happy life before,I believe it.But because an accident,the happy life has changed a lot due to the living room with husband'dad.But I think it is not the main reason,the problems comes from your loving attitude with each other,maybe you are really too young to consider your situation,but I suggest you do have a deep considerations about love and the future life.Because you will live together for a whole life with your husband,you should keep your loving world to be very good.That is quite important.
Do a deep communiacations with your husband right now,and do not make a decision in a hurry!Hope you tackle this problem as quickly as possible!
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
13 Mar 08
My ex husband did the same thing. He left our home the first time, but told me he still wanted to date me. hello? we were married, you don't date like that anymore. come to find out he was cheating on me. i threw him out of the house though. it sounds to me like you are in a similar situation. if the two of you are 22 then it shouldn't matter what the father thinks and he shouldn't have to sneak out. i really think he's trying to get all his partying out due to the comment of getting back together in a few months. i would tell him it's now or never. don't let him play games with you. good luck and keep us posted. God bless
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
13 Mar 08
If you guys spend a lot of time together and still act like you're dating, then there's a good chance you can save your marriage. You should talk to your husband and discuss exactly why he wants a divorce. Your husband should realize that a divorce isn't just like breaking up! It can be very complicated and cost a lot of money. Especially since you have kids together. The two of you should go to some kind of counseling together. There you can talk about the strain his father has put on your relationship, as well as any other problems you might have. Your marriage is definitely worth it!
