I know it's wrong..But....I love both of them... Do I have a double life?

the post is difficult to read with so many unnecessary punctuations.it seems you want to say your husband is culprit. but think what is the actual situation. do you really thing he did all the wrong? you have no mistake?

I'm not going to get into a long drawn out response (which is odd for me LOL) Instead I'm going to ask you a couple questions and you IMO should REALLY think hard about them and answer them WITHOUT wearing any rose coloured glasses.... You said you love your husband...but do you love how he treats you? Do you HONESTLY think that he loves you? You said you feel its "your duty" as a wife to stay with him..WHY? The ONLY duty you have is to YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN...Why play the role of a martyr? You said that he has cheated on you several times, then comes crawling back all sorry etc etc...but does it all over again...So how sorry is he REALLY? and Dont you think you deserve to be treated better than that?? Also did you know that he is ABUSING YOU? Is that what you want your children to see, know about and learn to behave like the victim or abuser? Bottomline IMO is this...you arent happy, he obviously isnt happy, why waste time staying together?

I would leave him, hes no good for you. Hes going to do it agian, hes just using you, and you need to be happy. The other man is what you need, but be careful you may be just mixing fellings because of the situation and using the other man for an exit. but you need to get out of there before you waste anymore of YOUR life on someone that brings YOU down. He will move on dont let him influence you to believe you need to be there to help him in trial times when he wasnt there for you.

If I'm in your place, I would let go of my husband. I believe in marriage and I don't campaign divorce, but your situation, you don't feel love at all. He disrespected you a lot of times, and would ask you forgiveness, and you'd give in. I know it's our duty and promise to stand by our man, our husbands for better or worse, but your situation is different.. For me, a second chance is ok, but a big NO for the third time, that's my principle. He abused you verbally and hurt your feelings a lot of times. Marriage is friendship and partnership, not just a having someone to get married to. Go for what makes you happy, it's about time to move on and do whatever you want. You love your husband, yes, but love yourself more. You deserve to be happy. Go with the man you love, Im sure your husband will understand, he doesn't need to. Just be happy girl!

Honey, Listen...your bottom line is that your'e in love with someone else. Period. Don't pussyfoot around. If you are absolutely certain you don't want to stay married, then tell your husband that it's over. You don't have to tell him about the man you're in love with. Just tell him you aren't in love with him and that you feel it's best to go your separate ways. Don't get drawn into discussions. Keep it short and simple. Don't let him whine, cry, beg or talk you into staying. Don't let him guilt you into it either. BUT...I will say this. BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN YOU WANT A DIVORCE. And too, I will say that if you're uncertain, and you need some time to think about it....then if the man you're claiming to be in love with is in love with you too, he will wait. Not forever, but he will wait. Think about what you're going to do though. Make sure it's what you want, because oftentimes, you can't go back. Hope this helps.

If you are in love with someone else this marriage is pretty much over. You and your husband are already making each other miserable and with you being in love with someone else that will just make more problems come up. Do not feel sorry for your husband and stay with him. You cannot have a good marriage based on sympathy and lies. You have a wonderful marriage with love, good communication, and honesty. If you stay for all the wrong reasons your life will continue to be just as miserable as it has been. Do not leave your husband for another man, leave your husband for yourself if that will bring you happiness. But you have to love yourself and be happy with who you are before you will find love and happiness from someone else. Life is what you make it. If you chose to be unhappy you will. If you chose to enjoy life and find something wonderful each day than you will. It's your life which way of life you choose is up to you. Best of luck to you may God bless you.

first of all i just wanna tell you smething my friend. in marriage life there are only two type about marriage which are happily marriage and unhappy marriage. the different of those type marriage is really thinness. a marriage could be mentioned happily marriage if the couple able to defend in their marriage no matter happened, especially when you decided to marry someone, it means that you agree to be with your spouse in sadness and happiness. what your husband already done withyou was completely wrong and honestly what you already did also wrong. i know your feeling that you need someone to share whats on your mind to release your tension but it also prooves that you're not strong enough to bear everything. i was on your situation my dear friend. and still in my opinion that you give your husband second chance. try to build better communication between you and your husband. you should learn how to communicate with male cause believe me, its really hard to do even me and my husband at this moment still having trouble to communicate each other. what i am saying accepted different in him and what he said accepted different in myself. i just try to learn more about to communicate with him by reading lots of couple physicologycal books to able coomunicate everything with him. i know its hard to do but i believe that you able to start everything new in your life.

Your husband sounds like he doesn't respect you. You don't owe him anything. He stayed with him all these years and he gave you nothing back in return. You can love someone and still not be able to live with the person. Your duty stopped a long time ago when he didn't respect you as a human being. It would be hard to leave him but I wouldn't stay with a person that treated me as he has treated you. It would be hard because you feel it is your duty as his wife to stand by him as he has lost his house. Ask yourself this question of yourself--did he ever stand by me when I needed him. It sounds to me like no from the discussion you have posted here. You deserve some happiness and so do your kids. Get out from under the yoke he has placed on you. I will keep you in my prayers.

no you are doing a very very vig mistake again. this i am aboe to say because mine was also a love marriage.love for 10 years and marriage for 12 years. i had always thought that my hubby darling too loved me equally on par with my love. but i was mistaken. he had just used me for the purposes of financially, socially, domestically, for enduring him and his habits as i had accepted him unconditionally. my marriage, my thoughts, were also similar to yours, may be a mistake which many many people warnedme, cautioned me of, advocated me, but i never heeded to any one anytime. i was bent over heels to marry him .., i still love him too much. but he has also had many outside relations like that of yours - 1,2,3,4,5,6th one latest since 4 months; all these girls/women now are have/are known to me. and i wonder other than these how many more he might have had relation with. but whenever it came to my notice of his extra realtion i was like ignoring thinking that someday he will come to me with love. but in all these 22 years time it has never happened. i was being given financial torture, budget torture, crunches, .............. i realize now i was kept by my husband giving me a post of wife, in the society, family, friends, but i was actually a domestic servant, baby sitter, money earning person(my salary is more than his) finance crunch bearer, budget maintainer, cook, washing machine, dish washer, vaccumn cleaner, house keeping maid and once in 3-4 months a bedtime serving doll too. all these people put together in one person named wife for hte society. so how could he get me off. but off late i.e., fo rhte past 1-2 motnhs i have decided to move away from him. and i am trying to relocate myself in another city. only then he would realise my presence/i\value. do not commit the similar mistake like me and make your man take you tooooooooooooo much for granted.

It sounds like you two should never have been married in the first place. It is nice that you are giving him a place to stay but you should be honest with him about the other guy and make it clear that it is just a place to stay that you are giving him. Anything less than that would be leading him on to believe that your marriage has a chance.

I wouldn't like to judge you for things that are happening with your life now because I understand it clearly. There are things that happen in one's life that just happens. It is understandable that you already fell in love with someone else already considering your relationship with your husband. But if I were you, I would tell my husband about what I really feel about him. It is not okay to make him believe that you still love him like you should as his wife...If you want to help him, then do it, but not up to the extent of letting him stay at your house.