How do I get my 3-year-old to stop nursing?
By Dinolist
@Dinolist (55)
United States
March 14, 2008 5:15am CST
This is almost embarrassing. I am having a terrible time weaning my son---and he's 3 now! My first son was nursed until he was almost 2, but he was no trouble to wean. I did it slowly, cutting out feedings until he was down to one a day, just before bed. Then we changed our routine and he was fine. My second son is completely different. He's opposite in every way from my first. And he's totally hooked on nursing and gets extremely emotional when I tell him "no". I went to places like BabyCenter.com and La Leche League to get advice. I've tried everything from putting castor oil on there to make it taste bad, to trying to reason with him that big boys don't "do the 'B'" (that's what he calls it). But then he insists that he's still a baby. So I told him if he's a baby, he doesn't need a skateboard or a bicycle! (Ever tried reasoning with a 3-year-old?) I even tried going cold turkey, but THAT was a mistake---engorged "B" and an emotionally traumatized little boy. La Leche League says the average age worldwide for weaning is 5 years. I know this takes into consideration poorer civilizations who don't have enough food to feed their children, therefore nursing is necessary for nutritional reasons. My son is just plain hooked. It's like an addiction! What do I do? I know it's something he needs to decide, how do I convince him? I don't want to cause him emotional distress. Please help! Thank you!:)
2 people like this
2 responses
@Swaana (1205)
• India
15 Mar 08
My younger one is turning 3 this June. I forced the elder to stop feeding as I had been socializing a lot and it was embarassing to feed in the public. I stopped when she was one and a half. But that got us into a big trouble and so I dont want to force my second. But still I felt embarrased. I slowly changed the feeding pattern and made hubby and his elder sister take part in having thier coffee or milk with him when ever he wants. He is still not out of the sipper regime though we plan to put him in school. At nights when he wanted comforts, I made him sleep near me but with a round pillow inbetween us. Slowly he overcame that too and now he just sleeps and he doesnot need any comforts from me except occassional hugs when he dreams something dreadful.
As you say it is an addiction, you just have to say NO abruptly. But he will be emotionally upset. You dont get upset for that and try to tell him things that it pains for mama and ask him whether he wants to hurt mama. He will understand it though not immediatly but slowly. Dont loose heart and also make sure that you involve your DH into the weaning process. At nights dont sleep near him and offer him his dinner a bit early than the usual time and give him a cup of milk and ask DH to put him to sleep. You just dont step in what ever happens. It will definitely be hard. But you will succeed at the end.
All the Best.
@lovelemonlee (235)
• China
15 Mar 08
I'm totally agree with monkeymade's argument that : you can't always get what you want. i can understand your feeling as a mother that you don't want to cause your son emotional distress ,but you can't prevent your children from being emotional hurt by other people in this society.If you over-protect your son and let him grow up in a greenhouse you made for him, i'm afraid he'll be hurt more deeply sooner or later.So by just stoppinjg weaning your son and telling him the reasons,you can teach him a lesson that life is realistic and cruel, i think this is another form of protection.
