Counseling or Resolving on your own?

I still believe that everything misunderstanding can be settled out in a nice manner, without seeking any help from other people. If the couple loves each other, that what they feel for one another is genuine love, then I'm really sure that all's well that'll end well. Besides, you're only looking for something to waste your money at if ever you try to seek any assistance that don't really have any clue the real cause of your misunderstandings.

That is a very vague question. I do think that it is best for the couple to work things out on their own. Sometimes tho things do get overwhelming and emotions do get to a point where the couple is unable to see eye to eye. In those cases councelling can often help for a couple to understand each other. Some people are not good in verbal expression ....a councellor can sometimes serve as a mediator. I don't think it is a sign of weakness and I have never known anyone who seeks such help that comes to rely on it. If the councelling is helpful it should help for the couple to understand and communicate

I prefer to settle things between me and my hubby and not go to outsiders for help. I used to think counselling was a scam. I have changed that opinion as of late though. My friends were about to get divorced because they were fighting all the time. They were recommended a marriage counselor someone they knew had used. They went from an unhappy fighting couple to a happy married couple just by opening up communication. I think now that for some people counselling is the way to go and if my relationship falls apart I think I may try it. I just hope I never have to.

I think whether the problem requires the help of a professional is situational. Counselor is just one of them, sometimes there might be a need for medical specialists, psychiatrist, psychologist, and the list goes on. So we need to analyze what the problem(s) may be before deciding. However, most of the time if there are no extremes in the situation the best advocate will be to work things out together. Remember the union between the both of you is special and has gone through the test of times. I am for sure that both parties are concern and mindful for each other so it should not be difficult to sit down and iron things out. Of course, there will need be some positiveness from both and lots of tact and give and take before it could work. As for enlisting the professionals, though is warranted for certain situations - it will still need the approval and acceptance of the party at fault. This is very important as only when there is an acceptance will the follow up be successful. So we need to be especially delicate here but firm for the good of the marriage.

More often than not, communication is the biggest issue with couples. Simple disagreements turn into huge arguments because they don't know how to effectively communicate their thoughts and feelings. (One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing a conversation start out with "you always" or "you never". Those two phrases only serve to put the other party on the defensive, and it's simply not true. There's no way someone can "always" do, or not do, something and the same goes for "you never".) Counseling, as another poster has already stated, teaches a couple how to effectively communicate with each other. That's what counseling does. That's what it's meant to. As such, there should be no risk of a couple becoming dependent on a counselor for simple problems. If anything, effective counseling will make it so a couple can get through even the toughest situation on their own. Does that mean there aren't couples who can't communicate without a third party? No. I'm sure we all know someone who makes it their business to tell us all about their personal life. The same thing happens with counselors. Some couples even try to use counselors against each other, or to back up their side of an argument. Those are not couples who truly want help.

I think that, if partners can communicate with each other and sort things out between them, it is not necessary to go for counseling, unless it is really a "big" thing and you feel that help is needed. But if things get out of hand and you can't talk to each other and you will only end up hurting each other more, then I think that counseling is a great thing. It always helps when there is a third person who can help people see things in perspective, or just be there and act as an intermediary to keep things calm. People who live together can hurt each other so much by saying things without thinking and those things can cause life-long issues that could be very hard to overcome.