Sad state of care for the elderly
By addysmum
@addysmum (1225)
Canada
March 14, 2008 3:44pm CST
My grandmother is in her 90's, she has lived alone for 25 years after the death of my Grandfather. My Dad is her primary caregiver. 2 weeks ago she fell down and hit her head, nobody can get the story from her as to what really happened. She told me she fell getting ready for bed meaning around 10 or 11 at night, I was called at 2 in the morning by a stranger because my grandmother woke her up trying to dial my number. Grandma was in the hospital until yesterday. Before leaving the hospital she was supposed to have several assessments done to determine the amount of home care she needs, none of those assessments where done they just sent her home with no care in place not even her regular home care of once daily. I called her around lunch time to find out she was still laying in bed where my Dad put her yesterday before he left her for the night thinking the caregivers where on the way. Dad is with her now but he needs to be with my Mom who hurt herself a few days ago and can't get up either. I can't be with either one because my kids have the flu. My grandmothers case worker is away on holidays for 2 weeks and forgot to arrange the tests and care before leaving. The doctor is trying to see her to get her in a nursing home today but if he can't do that his solution is to take her to the hospital drop her off in emergency and refuse to pick her up. He said that will for the medical system to have to find a place for her until 24 hour care of some kind either in her home or in a nursing home can be arranged. How sad is this whole thing, my Dad has cared for her for so long and now that her needs are beyond what he can do for her (no son should have to bath his mother) the system is failing her leaving my Dad to look like the uncaring son.
4 responses
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
14 Mar 08
What a mess. I posted a similar discussion yesterday and we really have got into a mess when it comes to caring for he elderly. What an indictment of the healthcare system when a Dr has to recommend "dumping" your Grandma in the ER. I find it incredible that because her case worker is away, the system cannot respond. Not a quick fix, but isn't this what you MP is for.
1 person likes this
@addysmum (1225)
• Canada
14 Mar 08
Yes and believe me they have forgot about the wrong person. Everyone that has anything to do with getting her into full time care is going to have me breathing down their necks until they do their jobs. This is the most ridiculous case of total incompetence that I have seen in a long time. I was in the home care line of work before my oldest was born and I never would have left a client like they have done to my grandmother. I just talked to my Dad and he is on the way to a totally different city to leave her in the hospital to force them to care for her. The doctor said he has to do it that way or they will just call a taxi to send her home by taking her to another city they can't do that. My Dad is so upset he was crying over having to do this to her, I am really angry over this.
@addysmum (1225)
• Canada
16 Mar 08
The whole thing was terrible. At least with this place that she is in now she is happier then the last place. She is there until mid week and then she is home again. It is crazy, I can't believe they are sending her home without any more care then she had before, she needs full time care.
@greenglitterturtle (2750)
• United States
18 Jul 08
i can feel for you. my mother just turned 90 and we've been caring for her many years. it is surprising how many things can go wrong at the same time. my sister and i both look after my mom. there are times we have to pitch hit for each other cause my sis was in the hospital awhile. then there was a time i hurt by back. my mother has fallen before too and it's a serous event when that happens. i do hope this will all iron out for you. blessings.
@Amagnimo (635)
• India
16 Mar 08
First of all, I would say that I am sorry to hear about the condition. This is such a thing, it becomes too emotional thing for me. Though I hardly have tears in my eyes, and crying is like once in a blue moon, in such cases, tears come in my eyes so very often. Even when I was reading this, I could feel the shiver running down my body.
I pity the situation but I am sorry for everybody affected. This situation is like 2 on 3 - your children, your grandmom, and your mom are affected, and the only people to take care is you and your dad!
I wish I could have helped in someway...I hope the best for you...and I pray for that! Get over it soon...
@julievy (593)
• United States
16 Mar 08
It is a tough issue. I moved to Iowa and cared for my grandmother for almost 4 years. It was tough! I rented a house across the street from her and was doing the single parent routine with 2 boys and a Grandma to care for (and working several jobs to pay for it all). The rest of the family was just kind of ignoring the issue.
Perhaps your family members that are in the area could get together and arrange a schedule to all take turns helping. If she is a church member perhaps there are also people at her church that would be willing to help.
Also check on local social care services, if her social worker is on vacation ask for the person that is taking his cases or ask for a supervisor. Don't give you, you need to be insistent!
