I need advise from my friends about religion! If you are not a believer Please

As a non-church goer and someone who ascribes to no doctrine I kind of understand how you feel. I do not believe that anyone, ANYONE knows the full truth of what God (the gods/higher powers/the creator/the powers that be... whatever) desires of us. As such I do not believe I should follow the teachings of any one group if I do not feel that ALL that they teach is correct. Because of this my 'beliefs' have a tendency to change. I do a lot of reading into my religion's history, as well as other religions. I do much debating, questioning and reading of philosophical and theological studies. I am forever searching for the truth, striving towards the truth. "Through science to truth!" as Magnus Hirschfield once said. If you feel that what your church teaches is not the truth then who is the more right? There are no two single people on Earth that agree totally on what the powers that be want of us. And no one, no one at all, can claim to know the full truth. Someone will always disagree with them, and this person may very well be as learned and wise them, if not more-so. I you truly believe that wearing make-up and pants does not condemn you, who can say you are wrong, really?

I had the same problem with my Religion. I just couldn't believe in it. So I did what I had to do. I stopped attending Church, and began to research other options. I began to study Spirituality and Yoga. It was a great opportunity to expand my beliefs and I found it very enjoyable. It changed my life and I found myself studying Nutrition, and health. I've never looked back and Life without Religious Dogma has been Wonderful!

the only one that truly knows the rules is god, if you have a personal relationship with him then listen with your heart, all churches will say different things but that does not mean they are right, if you have a conflict with that church find one that you will feel comfortable in, just because you were raised in that church does not mean you do not have a mind of your own and can make decisions that are right for you.

The way I see it, you should be allowed to do what you want to do. Every religion has their way of seeing things, every religion believes in a certain thing. In your case your religion states no makeup no hair cutting no wearing pants. Which to me sounds crazy and a bit rediculous. You as a person have a right to be what you want to be. Since all this part of your religion was embedded in you, of course you will feel guilty going to another church, but remember EVERY CHURCH is a house of God, as long as you love God and believe in God, he will always love you. God gave all of us free will, but from what I read, it looks like your religion dosen't allow much of free will. You have done nothing wrong, you are only thinking for yourself. You can still have that special bond with God and still be a person who wears pants, makeup and cuts thier hair.

Let me start by saying that any religion which seeks to indoctrinate you is a cult,(sorry if i offebnd you)who gave your church the right to judge you?besides why cant you cut your hair if that is what give syou comfort are you born a Nazarene?listen dont allow your conscience to be played upon by some human doctrine,you should read the bible well to understand everything that deals with dressing,from my understanding ,the bible is against youn exposing your body,do you do that?also the bible never said you cannot do some things it only ask you to be moderate and please if they condemn you then you dont belong there,go out there and search for a choice where you will be treated with respect and love and not with contempt,your spirituality is an inner thing and not what they say,paul said if our conscience does not condemn us then we are fine,please christainity is not about set of rules but a way of life.you will be surprised how many people may actually be hell bound because of these doctrines that does not seek to change people"s heart but their physicality(i hope the grammar is correct)

I grew up in a Christian family, but I was best friends with a girl who was strictly Baptist. They did not believe in cutting hair, wearing makeup, wearing pants etc. Doing these things does not make you a backslider. My suggestion would be to try another church and read your Bible to see what you think for yourself. Question what you've been taught, see if what you've been taught or what has been embedded into your mind is right according to the Bible. Find your own set of convictions, don't always listen to other people's opinions. Look at the Bible from another point of view. The one of love and acceptance, Jesus loved everyone, even though everyone is a sinner. Where in the Bible does it say that if you cut your hair, wear makeup or jeans that you are a lost soul? It says that these thing should not be your main focus and that your beauty should come from a gentle and quiet spirit, however it doesn't say that there is anything wrong with looking nice. If I were to walk into your church they would probably be very condemning of me because my hair is cut short. That isn't what Jesus taught, he did not teach others to be condemning.

You're making perfect sense.. and all these rules make no sense.. I've been a christian for 27 years, I tried the churches for a while, but they brought me down.. I would find myself "conforming" and then I felt like a phoney.. I absolutely hate putting on my best phony behavior! I think we should be real. I've found that as a christian we have one rule (yes, just one) to "love God". That's it! Period. You see, I finally figured out that all goodness only comes from one source, and one source alone - God! So by drawing close to God (if we love Him, we'll pursue Him). By drawing close to God, He draws close to us.. and basicly what happens is he rubs off on us.. or that is to say.. He fills us.. fills us up with Himself.. that only source of goodness! And it sure surpasses any sort of hoped for holiness we try to get by following lots of rules and or by trying to live up to other's expectations.. Yup, if we love God and draw close to Him, and He fills us, that is how we are both saved.. and transformed.. slowly we become more and more like Him!! Which of course is absolutely awesome. Yes, if we will "love God" we will love our fellow person, and as His Word says "love works no ill". - I'm always so surprised how good bible believing and bible reading churches can be so confused as to have a list of rules.. when Jesus said "I give to you a new commandment.." blessings!:)

I am a Christian, I wear pants, wear make up on occasion, rarely cut my hair (cause I like it long). I dare anyone to say I am not a Christian, but then I was raised in a Protestant and Lutheren churches. I can tell you for sure that you Are A Christian. I can tell by your post and your responses. I don't like to talk bad about others religion, its a personal thing for each person. What I don't like about some of the other religions and churches is when they say their beliefs are the only right ones. Who the heck do they think they are, who made them God. I have a personal relationship with God too, I can speak to him directly. There are some churches that say you have to confess your sins to a man and then that man talks to God for you. I can talk to God whenever and whereever I want. I don't need anyone to talk to God for me. I do like it when people pray for me though, I will never turn down prayer. Some religions say that if you don't believe the way they believe you won't be saved, again who the heck do they think they are, surely not God. I am a member of the United Church of Christ, its a wonderful church filled with kind, caring, loving people. When people ask me for advice I tell them to say their prayers, follow their heart and hand their problems over to God, he will be there for us and help us solve our problems. All we have to do is believe and open our hearts. I know its sometimes easier said then done, we are human. Take care, you are not going to hell, you are a very good person.

I'd have to wonder just why they see those things as sins. Who are they hurting? Most denominations don't have such silly requirements.

I am sorry to hear about your difficulties with rules in your church. But on the other hand I'm glad you are having them. It shows that you think for yourself and have the good sense to discern what is right and wrong for you. You can only ever follow your own truth, your own integrity. It's like a voice inside that lets you know if something does not serve you. This is a blessing in itself. I follow my own truth and it has led me to wonderful places. I have a spiritual teacher who has given me more than I could ever have wished for. He never tells me what to wear or whether I should wear makeup. You know yourself what is right.

There are branchs of the Pentacostal "church" that aren't so bad about the sins of cutting the hair and pants and stuff. Try one of those. I put "church" in quotes because its more like a cult than a church in my view.

Hi Slicky, I have one question. Does your church believe that it is virtuous and godly of them to turn their back on you when you know you did something "wrong" and are now willing to change (?) or that it serves God better to judge and condemn you when judgment should solely be reserved for God?

When I was a fairly new christian I ended up in a United Pentecostal Church for one Sunday Service. All the way home I said God I don't get it. I want to love you and know you with my whole heart. I want to live according to your will. I just spent the morning with a group of christians and somehow I felt like they thought I wasn't one of them. They looked at me like I was the unsaved. Why? It wasn't until I felt the intensity of the concern for my soul that I start to pay attention and look around to see what was going on. Took me awhile as I am a bit slow I guess and finally I saw it. Yes they all had long hair and no make up and long clothing on the women and suits on the men. I was completely clothed but all of a sudden I felt naked and alone in the midst of strangers. I battled with this all day. How could it be. I saw them worship God with passion. I knew I loved God with passion and yet they honestly think I was lost. God how can this be. I could go on with my story of that day how agonizing it was for me but just to let you know I had determined that as Jesus said he came to set the captives free. Jesus seem to hate conformity and rituals. Warn us about living by the law when he came and fulfilled the law and set us free. I think the important thing is the character of God. Who is God? He is Love! He came to set the captives who are bound by sin and law to freely live their lives. Don't you think God wants you to live your own unique true to yourself life. Keep it all in balance it doesn't mean it is a free for all out there in that big world. We are still meant to live Godly lives. Love God Love yourself and love others. Oh and Read your bible. I would concentrate on my own prayer life getting to know the God of the Bible. If he by his spirit leads you to a church to worship and have fellowship then so be it. I do believe the scripture calls us to gather together.

I was raised Catholic so I suffer a lot of guilt. I don't go to Church religiously anymore and I wear pants, makeup, cut my hair and spit on the sidewalk when I need to. Do I think I'm going to Hell? No way. Do I think God really cares if I wear pants, makeup etc.? No way. Like you I have a personal relationship with God. I believe in Him and His son Jesus Christ and I make no apologies for that. I have read the Bible several times and come to one inescapable conclusion. God loves me. No matter what. Jesus was clear on this and because I believe that I am capable of unconditional, then so is God. So I stopped driving myself nuts over the doctrines spouted by the Catholic Church and any other Church. I follow Jesus simple rule of loving my neighbour as myself and always striving to be worthy in word and action. I don't believe for one minute that God expects me to waste my time on manmade doctrines set out to control me rather than truly bring me closer to Him. He gave us what we needed when He gave us Jesus and Jesus example of how to live life. So just because I or you, no longer *get* all the rules set out, doesn't mean we are any less a Christian than anyone else. If you believe in Jesus and His message and try to live according to His teachings, then you are a Christian. No one can take that away from you. Jesus didn't teach about clothing, hair, makeup or any of that. He taught about love and tolerance and forgiveness. End of story.

This is why I don't go to church anymore. I was baptised Southern Baptist. Sunday mornings, I would dress up and then that night, wear a blouse and jeans during the colder months and shorts during the summer. There was no dress code, and honestly I seen a few older ladies that should have used the Pentecostal way of life, lol. They made Tammie Faye Baker look pretty. You don't have to go to church to worship God. You can read your Bible at home, give whatever you want to Charity's or churches,it doesn't matter. I don't think it's a good church denomination that dictates what a person should look and what they should wear. Honestly, I would tell you don't go back to church. It's becoming a look at so and so is wearing, she can't afford a decent dress for church. Then once they leave church, and if you saw them on the street, you would never believe they went to church.

This maybe a little strange coming from a non Christian but I know G-d loves you just the way you are. You are a Christian. You said you were baptized and you have a personal relationship with G-d and you received the Holy Spirit. Doesn't that make you a Christian?I think so.I am sorry that you feel like a outsider at your church.I hope you can find a church that you can feel comfortable in. Just remember that it really doesn't matter if your hair is short or long, if you wear a dress or pants, as long as you believe in Christ you are a Christian and No one can take that away from you. Good Luck.Take care.

I know you've gotten all kinds of advice here but going to put in my simple 2 cents - where in the bible does it say not to wear make-up, where does it say 'women can't cut their hair' or 'women shouldn't wear pants'. It doesn't my personal belief is these are all people taking the Word of God and adding their own twist to things. I can't find the verse now but have read it a million times a women's hair is her glory but that does not say a women is condemed for cutting it - I've read the verse in several translations including Hebrew. Your relationship with Christ, your belief in God, your trusting the Lord is what is your salvation - not what you have on the outside of your body. Believe me dear I've been through all of this personally and it's just Satan trying to bring you down, don't let that happen - trust in the Lord and He will get you through this, like me I'm guessing a new church where you are accepted and loved for what is inside will come your way.

I grew up in a church that held to many of the same beliefs, slickcut, but, at least you were not considered "lost" if you disobeyed the rules. I also have knowledge of the Pentacostal faith because I used to attend church with a friend who belonged to such a church. On one occasion I received so many stares during a service that I became very self conscious. He later told me that it was because I was wearing a sleeveless blouse which was frowned upon by the church. I scolded him for not telling me. As far as your problem goes, you might have to do what I have done. I DO have a personal relationship with God, and I don't believe that I'll burn in He11 if I don't regularly attend church. I continue to read my Bible and subscribe to some religious material that I receive regularly. This is how I maintain my relationship with God. You might even want to look into a faith that is not so restrivtive.

I went to the Church of God up until I was in my teens. My Grandfather was one of the first ministers in this church. I got away from this church when I was 16 and I have never gone back. You know, my Daddy lived to be 85, but he always felt he was going to hell because he didn't go to church anymore and didn't do this or that that Pentecostal churches insist on. I thought this was so, so sad. My Daddy was a wonderful man, he would help anyone, anytime, any way he could. And he did. He taught me what being a good person is all about by his example. My mother and I never believed this church. In fact, I don't go to church anymore. I haven't for a good 30 years. Someone once assumed that I don't believe in God, but I do. I am a Christian; I just don't believe in church. I don't think God does, either. I think we finally convinced my Daddy, but I'm not totally sure. This type of church has a strong hold on the people who go there.

I understand you slickcut. I grew up going to church twice on Sundays, so I know where you are coming from. However, I began to do my own research on the church and the Bible. No where in the Bible does it say not to cut your hair or what you can and can't where. It does however say in the Bible that "wherever there are two or more of you and you speak my name, there I am also." I truly believe that a God, does not just reside in the buildings that say church, truthfully, I find them full of hypocrites. They cheat on their spouses, corrupt the law, cheat on their taxes etc. and then on sunday, put on their sunday best and go to church and act like they have been christian like all week. God is not interested in what you are wearing or how long your hair is, all He cares about is your faith and how you treat others. The church sets up guidelines that they think will keep the congregation together, these are not God's rules. You are right to question such crazy rules. Keep the faith and know that God only cares whats in your heart not what you wear. the church does not dictate who goes to hell and who doesn't. Search your heart and trust your faith, that's all that matters.