Did you change or did I?

yes there was the lady i was actually into several years back while we were in firts year in the tertiary,i tried so much to date her but nevr succeeded,boy! she was hot back then or so i thought,a year after i got a chance to take her out for a party and a little smooching and kissing but not more than that though i tried to get more than that faterwards i never succeeded,we lost contact after tertiary only for me to run into her in another state about 3 years later,i could not believe my eyes,she was no longer her usual self,no designer wears,and the sparkle in her eyes were gone,i took her out but never wanted to do more than just talking,she has faded but i could not ask her why.people do change both in taste and in looks but the way we take care of ourselves as we grow older also matters.

There is this guy that I was best friends with all through high school...He was sooooo hot!! So adorable and so extremely charming...He just had a way about him. Although we never did anything - I loved looking at him whenever I got the chance... I saw him about a year ago at a gas station and I knew it was him but I didn't get that "OMG" feeling that I used to get when I looked at him. Mind you I had last seen him ten years prior...but he really didn't look all that different...just, I don't know...I was kinda blah about his looks. I think my tastes must have changed...

It was probably just your taste cause i dated this guy when i was high school he was hot then but now it like he looks the same but im just not attracted to him anymore

I think that sometimes it's a matter of the novelty of this person wearing off. I've had numerous crushes on men over the years, and would later see them and wonder what the heck I was thinking! I have a few of them on my facebook now; old boyfriends. I was dating this one man who was very self conscious about his own looks. He was convinced that I was the most beautiful woman, and he was worried that I would dump him because he wasn't up to par in the looks department. For one, I am NOT "all that", and two, he was a good looking man. I had him on my facebook, and would point out to him some of my ex boyfriends and say, "That is what I've gone out with. Are they anything special to look at?" lol. I did eventually break things off with him, and it had nothing to do with his looks. Well, that's not entirely true. His self esteem was too low, and he wasn't confident enough, so when I did look at him, that's what I saw. It was such a turn off!

Been there recently actually. My first boyfriend from high school. We were together for 5 years and he dumped me for someone else. But that's cool- he married her. He turned out fat and bald and ugly. I have no idea what I even saw in him in the first place. He still said I was hot and I should call him sometime. Ummmm? NO!!! He's married anyway- I guess he was still trying to play his old tricks...Ughhh! It just made me laugh and realize how far I've come in 10 or more years.

i think your opinion is changed ,the man still is that man !because you haven't see each others for a long time

Oh thank goodness. You have all given us men a glint of hope! haha So if we wait around long enough, we who do not look like Crowe / Pitt /etc. might just stand a chance at the final day of reckoning! My trouble is that you girls looked gorgeous at 20 and stunning at 30 and very desirable at 40 - you just go on and on!

I haven't seen the guys I had a crush on in a long, long time but I guess I would find them changed and my feelings about them too. The closet thing to happen to me like this is my feelings for John Travolta. Back in the day I was crazy for him and now I just like him.

Yes my first husband. I never thought he was exceptionally cute in the beginning but he was alright looking. After our divorce I ran into him one time. We spoke for a few minutes and as I walked away I felt sick to my stomach as I thought what did I ever see in that guy? Not only was he very shallow in the discussion we just had but he looked so unappealing to me. I then wondered if he was feeling the same way about me. It crossed my mind as I drove away did he actually change or do I just see him differently?

i think with time you mature and when you are n a relationship with someone they mature with you because they are there during the process. they either grow with you or away from you.

Well who i am thinking of for thid discussion, i havent seen in years. but they way i last remember him. was when i was 13 i was soooooo into him and we dated for 3 years. anyways he was expelled from high school, (called in a bomb threat) he lived at home with his mom a few dorrs down from me. didnt work, he was 17 back them mind you. so he could work if he wanted. he drank and smokes pot. and hung out with the boys. anyways. my points is. i was really into that i thought it was cool. Now being 22 and a mom and so much smarter. I would NEVER EVER NEVER NEVER have someone like that in my life.. thats so not coll to me anymore. lol.

I have always admired people more for their brains then I have for their looks. They have to look like they know how to wash their own clothes and use deodorant and use a razor and not have permanent orange stains on their fingers from having their hand in a Cheetos bag 20 hours a day, but other than that I am not big on how a person looks. I ran into my very very first boyfriend about 3 months ago. I didn't even recognize him and if he hadn't approached me and told me who he was, I still wouldn't know. He changed A LOT! I haven't as far as physically. But mentally I have matured and the "hot guy in the tight jeans with the long hair and the leather jacket" just doesn't do it for me the way it did 15 years ago.

This actually happened to me with my ex husband. When we first met, I thought he was extremely hot (so did my mom, my friends, everyone I knew). He was a great guy for the first 2 years then her turned into a major a$$. He became physically, mentally, and verbally abusive to me. I realized that I not only no longer thought he was hot, I thought he was downright ugly. His physical looks hadn't really changed, but his attitude and personality did and it made him ugly. Maybe the guy in your situation went through some rough times and, even thugh his physical looks haven't changed, his attitude or the way he carries himself might have and that's why he looks different to you. Just a theory.

few years ago, i was hot and heavy and very much in love with a woman i thought was positively beautiful. my husband couldnt see the attraction and didnt like her very well at all, but i defended her to the nines. now refferred to as my "ex wife" due the fact as soon as i put a ring onto her finger two years into our relationship, she went stupid and our relationship went down so fast i got whiplash from it! i look at pictures of us then and shake my head wondering what did i ever see in her, the attraction is so totally gone. and she didnt change.. these are pictures from then, so the change is within me. guess its a perfect example of "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"

I had a crush in college, although I was engaged at the time. After I was widowed, I tried to get in touch with many of my former crushes, or anyone who could make me not feel scared and alone. None of the contacts worked out, I got in touch with a spirit of adventure and independence. I found a new partner, got married, and went to reunion.I saw him again, and visited some. My conclusion is that he did not change, but I did. In fact, he was not able to respond to my emotional SOS, as he had not ever grown, at least not in that part of his being. I am glad I changed. I am stronger, smarter, and better. He stood still, stuck in a rut, and was a total bore when I saw him again.

i have this same experience with someone very close to me. i use to really admire him, close to chasing him as he was tagged as my bestfriend. well he was. he used to share to me everything he's done in life, even tales of his relationships... whenever he needs me, anytime... i am there for him - cause i thought when i stick around... he'd finally notice me... just now i was able to talk to him again... the feeling was lost... i mean, i was not so excited to hear about him - a lot different that what i would have reacted years back.

I would guess it is a little of both? As time goes by, our character also changes. Even though it is a subtle change, the changes are there. We will never notice these changes as we are dealing with it on a daily basis. But it becomes apparent when we meet up with someone or something after a long period of absence. This is because we have something to compare it to. And that is where the difference become obvious.