How do you Handle your Friend Requests?
By drknlvly6781
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
United States
March 15, 2008 5:54pm CST
Here in MyLot we get contact from many people from across the world; and some of those contacts can be so interesting that we want to keep in contact with what they do in this community. That is why we have the friends list. Just add a person, and turn on the e-mail notification, and boom, you know every discussion this person creates.
Unfortunately, this friends list opens up a venue to be spammed as well. A person can send a friend request based on your interests (usually making money) and send you a friend request based on that. Then, once you accept it, you are automatically spammed by every discussion they post, because, 90% of the time, they post discussions about what they are selling or what they want you to sign up to; no content, just another sales pitch that we already get too many of.
So how do you cut down on this? I cut down by having specific criteria that a person has to meet before I will add them into my list. First, I check to see if they have responded to one of my discussions. This way, I can see if they are truly interested in what I have to say.
Second, if they haven't responded to any discussions, I look to see what types of discussions they have started. Yes I already know that they have probably just picked my name out of a category instead of actually reading about me, but I will give a person a chance if I can see they are actually writing about something. If the person hasn't started any discussions and have been here a month, or if the discussions they have are poorly written (meaning they don't have good information, not spelling and grammar) then they don't get added; if there is some good information in their posts, then I will still add them.
This cuts down on having people in my friends list that I will never respond to, or will get spammed from. So, how do you decide which friends requests to approve and which to deny?
6 people like this
20 responses
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
16 Mar 08
I agree we do get friend requests from many different parts of the world. Its interesting to learn about another country and the events that take place elsewhere. I have learned a lot on Mylot.
I don't accept every request, as many people have heard about my 1000 e-mails. Now I'm very selective, as don't want get rich quick or questions in topics that I can't possibly answer.
I recently deleted a member that uses swear words, as don't see any reason to talk in that manner. I'm a professional business woman and want to be treated with respect and that is how I treat people.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
16 Mar 08
Your 1000 e-mails? Sorry, must have missed that discussion, what is that all about?
And you deleted a person that uses swear words? I thought you couldn't do that in MyLot. Even if I could I would only use them in rare instances to show anger. I mean, doesn't that just show how limited your vocabulary is?
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I had everyone set to receive e-mails and managed to get very behind in responding. I had 1000 e-mails all from Mylot members. Now I have folders to sort them into urgent, reply this week or reply when I have extra time.
1 person likes this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Boy, that is a lot of e-mails! I have had up to 600 when I got behind, but they weren't all ones I wanted to respond to. If I don't respond to a discussion right away, I will never respond to it. I just feel I need that emotion that I feel when I initially run across a good discussion to respond correctly. I don't know what I would do if I had 1000 discussions that I wanted to respond to, I would never get anything else done!!!
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
9 Apr 08
I atleast check their profile and their discussions, before 'accepting' their request. After some time I review the situation, if I fin that either I or that person is not participating in each other's discussions, I just 'delete' the name. I feel there is no use of lenthening the list of friends, without they or I contributing anything to discussions.
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
10 Apr 08
I agree with your views. You please see my recent discussion regarding adding a friend with zero post.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
9 Apr 08
Right. Like today I got a friend request from a person that had not made one single post. Not one. I didn't go into how long they have been a member or anything. I simply denied the request. Before I think anything bad of this person, my first thought is, I know nothing about you. If you had made one, maybe even two posts, I would know a little something about you, but you haven't posted once at all.
@SONIA12MAN (238)
• United States
16 Mar 08
YEP but I sign up they should notify me when some one make a post that way I keep track and be on good standing with my reply.
1 person likes this
@monishavakil (1019)
• India
9 Apr 08
i would not get so hassled over it. please do accept requests and if they do send you these tags then just delete them from your list thats all i would suggest you do. yes but you should give all a chance for you to accept them. sometimes people read a discussion you have written and sign you in as a friend before really getting into details of what you are, your likes and dislikes. do add them all to start with. all the best
1 person likes this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
9 Apr 08
I do give people a chance. I give them a chance by actually looking over their profile. Seeing what discussions they start and how they respond to discussions tells me their posting habits and what is important to them when it comes to MyLot. If all their posts are about making money through this and that program, and there are a lot of unrelated links in their responses, it shows that they are spammers, and I will not knowingly give a spammer access to my pm box.
@SONIA12MAN (238)
• United States
16 Mar 08
That sounds true, but honestly I have met very nice people here all of them have hard serious interest and talk about serious stuff.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Most of the people I have met here in the past year are very nice, granted. But you always have that one person that messes it up for everyone. That is one of the reasons I go through the screening process. I am here to have meaningful discussion, learn things, and make money. I don't have time for those who are only trying to get referrals for their programs, and aren't interested in the real purpose of this site.
@SONIA12MAN (238)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Right i think so it is not wise to do that to someone. I think you are right ,I will not want to be in that kind of mess
1 person likes this
@nerisse (16)
• Philippines
13 Apr 08
Hi,
you know I'm not a choosy person, I usually don't screen my friend request. If I receive one, I just go to his profile and look at his photo if he have one, or his blogs. I don't look at the nationality of who I'm going to be friend with. As long as his a true friend, that's okay by me.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
13 Apr 08
I don't look for nationality either. But there are certain criteria I look for to see if they are going to be a true friend. I look at if they have responded to a discussion of mine. I like to know that they have actually read something of mine, rather than just saw me in an interest or someone else's friend list.
If they haven't I look to see what type of posts they have been doing. There are only two things that will knock them out of the running at this point. If their posts are all about opportunities they want to sign people up for, or if they don't have any at all.
Finally, I look at their interests. If we are to be friends, then we should have something in common. That way we enhance each others experience here in MyLot.
Following this routine will ensure that you have the best, most responsive friends here in MyLot, and it will cut way down on spam messages you may get in your PM box.
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
17 Mar 08
The majority of it for me, is their activity and participation here. Since some only come here to simply look for referrals on their other sites, not really interested in the whole community and what order of business we are doing here.
If I receive a friend's request, then I would check first on their profile. From their interests, posts and their preferences. I don't really mind them if they won't respond to any of my discussions, since I am the one's who comes to their posts (if it interests me). That is my only test for them, and if they ignored commenting on it then I'm sure that they are only out here for their selfish scamming interests. They failed in one thing that really matters on me here, the essence and thought of discussing..
I don't have to think twice denying their requests, since there are lots of members who are more deserving to be my friend than other..
1 person likes this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Its not that I've made the requirement that anyone who requests a friend add must have responded to one of my discussions. Far from that. I look at that, and also to see if I have responded to their discussions, because that way I know you have added me because you liked some part of what I had to say, not just because we share the same interest of making extra money.
I am mostly like you. If neither of the above has happened, then I look to their posts. If they are mostly about the sites they are in, nope. If they don't have any discussions that I would be interested in, nope.
There are two things I try to stay away from here, spammers, and interest conflicts. Doing a little reading into the profile works wonders in avoiding these two issues.
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
16 Mar 08
At first when someone adds me as friend I did let their request in so I can reply to whatever they want to discuss but when there was this one guy who had so many discussions and all of his discussions were all out of this world as in no idea at all what he is talking about. I just turned it off..Y? Because he didn't just have one discussion but almost a dozen in a day..not bein' rude but it was all nonsense..really..and now I just respond to whatever discussions that comes in here first. Friend or not friend.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
16 Mar 08
I had to delete someone like that a few months ago. All his discussions were either one-line questions that I didn't care to discuss or pertain to me, or they just didn't make sense at all. And he would do about 10-12 of them each day. I found that I was never responding to anything he wrote, so finally I just deleted him altogether.
I do respond to discussions that aren't written by my friends here, but only if they grab my attention. Its not that I am discriminating, I just get so many discussions from the friends that I already have, that I don't normally pay attention to the related discussions at the bottom of the page. But if a particular title catches my eye, I will definitely respond to it.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
16 Mar 08
It all depends. Now if I read someone's post and it sounds interesting, I will go to that person's profile and see if they and I have what I consider my most important interests and that does not include making money. If you get all the money promoters, that is what you should do. What is your most favorite interest? Now if it is dancing, then get ask those who are interested in dancing to be your friends. If you are a Christian, then get those who list Christians as your interest to join. And so on. Then you will get requests from others to be your friends, but since you have a base of the ones that you have your main interests in, and it depends on what is on your profile, if your website is about making money, that is who you will get.
1 person likes this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I have very little on my profile. And what little is there is about making money. So I guess I need to flesh out my profile a little. Even though one of my interests is making money, and this is probably one of the more important interests I have, this still doesn't give people the right to want to add me so they can spam me with all types of lists thinking that I will join.
@alexsis (2149)
• United States
16 Mar 08
I accept all of my friend requests. If they start to spam me I delete them from my friend list. My email notification is turned off. Thats too many emails too be receiving and going through.
I don't respond to all of my friends discussion because I don't spend much time on here. But if I see there discussions on my home page when I sign on I respond.
1 person likes this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
16 Mar 08
That is a good idea. I just like having the e-mail notification because this way I know what all my friends are talking about, and I don't have to search the home page, or all of mylot to see what they are talking about. Its more of a convenience for me to have the e-mails of discussions come to me, because I am usually doing several other things at the time, and don't have the time to look for discussions. Everything is right there at my fingertips, and on top of it, with the screening process I have for accepting friends, I don't have many that I have to delete.
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I have never really thought much about this,but you have
brought up some good ideas.I do need to start paying more
attention to my friend list.Right now most of my friends
post good discussions that have good content and I can
answer most of them.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Even though you haven't thought of it, you must have had a good strategy to have most of your friends posting good content.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
16 Mar 08
This is exactly my point. If you take a little time and do some research on the person that has requested your friendship, making sure you have some interests in common, you might find that you would get contacted more.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
17 Mar 08
That is good if you are just trying to boost the numbers of your friends, but it also means that you are allowing people who are just claiming to be a friend to gain access to messaging you for other purposes. Purposes that you may not be interested in.
@jenni7202 (1598)
• United States
16 Mar 08
I accept all friend requests. If I notice that someone is doing more spamming then actually discussing, that is when I cut the friend line. I will delete a friend if I see they are not actually here to be a mylotter, simple as that.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
16 Mar 08
That is a good strategy. But what about the newbies that haven't had the opportunities to post that much as of yet? They could be good posters too.
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
16 Mar 08
I have heard that you get paid more if you respond to your friends' discussions. I have received lots of invitations and I have accepted all of them in my friends list. Haven't really talked to any of them though. LOL
1 person likes this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
16 Mar 08
This is true, you do earn more if you respond to friend's discussions, but that is the very reason why I go through this screening process. I only add the friends that have responded to one of my discussions, or I have responded to one of theirs, or we both responded to a third party's discussion. This lets me know that we share a common interest, which means I will be more likely to respond to one of their discussions (or vice versa), which means I will earn more money than if I just accepted everyone's invitation.
@Wickedself (720)
•
9 Apr 08
I don;t bother checking who it is. I just addall the add requests that I get
1 person likes this
@ThePaintGuru (541)
• United States
9 Apr 08
I accept every friend request that comes my way. Since I don't subscribe to any email updates, it doesn't really bother me to see those discussions. They do show up in the "activity sortie", but I don't always pay attention to that and instead go to discussions from my interests, discussions my friends started, or discussions with no responses.
So far I haven't really had any problem being spammed by my friends, but it's always possible that it may start up in the future.
1 person likes this
