Is your husband the spiritual leader in your Home?

How was my husband retrained? A good question to ponder. The easy answer is - God retrained him. The long story is, my husband new I loved him enough to care. He loved me enough to pay attention to the things he knew I loved the most. The first fight we ever had was over the amount of love I showed for God. My husband developed a certain amount of jealousy. I had to tell him at that point that I loved him, but that he couldn't expect me to love him more than God. Of course that statement puzzled him deeply, but he half-heartedly understood it. We had to deal with excess baggage early on; his ex-wife, his past life style, his child and other emotional issues and things he was taught growing up. The words given to me from God, after doing everything I could think to do to help my husband understand were, "You take care of your own soul....I'll take care of him". When God gave those words to me, I suddenly realized, I wasn't the one who could change my husband. He had to want to change first and God had to be the one who led him. My responsibility was to be the best example I knew how to be. My husband would begin to see. HIS relationship with God would eventually end up being the catalyste that changed or retrained him. There is not one thing I can tell you that retrained him. It was a succession of things. If I had to tell you one thing....it would be LOVE changed him. For the first time in his life (married to me) he was shown what real love was. He was shown what devotion and committment was. He realized what 'becoming one' meant. My deep love for God, my love for myself, the love I showed him is what retrained his thinking. He started understanding what it meant - as a Christian - "if you talk the talk, you must walk the walk". He saw that in me. He saw the truth, the honesty, the love, the strength, the integrity and character that was expressed by God, through me. It wasn't easy being The Proverbial Woman, but I knew somehow, if my husband was going to be the best man he could possibly be, it was going to depend a great deal on how I reacted to him, constantly showing him God's love. Like I said earlier, there is a much longer story behind all of this. It involves a day to day walk with God, day to day sacrifice and day to day prayer and Bible study. In the end,,,,,,it's certainly been worth it all.

That is wonderful for you. How was your husband retrained?

That must be hard for you. My husband comes in and out of our belief and I know it is hard on me.

What is spirituality? And dont we all need money to continue to exist? I am assuming that God is not a part of this belief or am I mistaken?

That has to be difficult. Be careful though I am not sure not going to church is a sin. I would never suggest you not go but maybe let your husband know he means more to you than the church. Notice I did not say God because he must be first. I only say these things because I got really caught up in serving at our church and my husband felt like I loved the church more than him. God calls us to minister in our homes first then to others.

I hear what you are saying, if I might ask how would a wife get her husband to lead if not for a push? I know it does not work and I have (in the past) prayed until I was blue with no LASTING change. In other words he would follow for awhile then fall away. I am so angry that he has abandoned our faith that I cant hardly pray for him anymore. I know that is wrong but I do not know what to do.

I appreciae your kind words, right now my husband would not attend a prayer breakfast if his very life depended on it. I have theories as to why but nevertheless. I will get back into church.

Keep your faith. Men are scared to lead because they think if they fail, they fail the family. Keep going to church, keep praying for him. God works in wonderful ways and you may find that he is either resting or waiting. When I say a "push" I mean women who try to change their man, we hate that, encourage him, don't brow beat him. He needs to get involved with a prayer breakfast or find a mentor in the church. Like I said before, men will ask another man for help, and if its offered without asking then we always want to learn.