Just when I thought it was safe to breathe ....more bad news...how much more can
By ctrymuziklvr
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
United States
March 17, 2008 8:26am CST
I take? I was with a guy for 5 years and loved him like I loved no man before. 2 years he abruptly broke up with me and gave me no real reason. I've been heartbroken ever since. He wouldn't even talk to me after the break up until last year when I finally got him to at least chat with me on yahoo im which we have been doing once or twice a month. Then 3 months ago I talked him into coming to my apartment to watch a movie with me which he did and it was a very nice afternoon. We watched the movie, drank coffee and talked...a little. Last night I logged onto my yahoo im to see if my daughter in CA was on and there was a message from my ex saying "if you have the time I need to talk to you". Very out of character for him believe me. So I noticed he was online and asked him what was up. His first words were that he is sorry that he hurt me so bad by breaking up with me. So, I'm sitting here thinking...Cool! AND THEN...he proceeds to tell me that he's going in for by pass surgery next week! Now this guy is younger than me by a couple of years...he's 57 and has had 3 heart attacks in his life the most recent was last November. This was the first time he really "bared his soul to me" and I can tell he's really scared so I tried to keep the conversation upbeat because that's always been "a thing" between us. He's always said I could make a dead man forget he's dead...
but I'm not feeling as "upbeat" as I was trying to sound. Personally I will be surprised if he makes it through the surgery because he's not in the best of health as it is.
I'm at the point where all I can think is how will I be able to deal with it if he dies during or after surgery? My Dad had the surgery and died a couple of months later and losing my Mom in January and my Aunt in March I don't think I can deal with losing him now. These past two years I felt that there was a chance we would get back together but if he's not here that chance is gone and I'll be more alone than ever.
As usual....lately....I have to thank you guys in advance for being so great and listening to my problems and tales of woe in my life. You're all awesome 
My question for you is just how much misery can one person take before they totally break down?
but I'm not feeling as "upbeat" as I was trying to sound. Personally I will be surprised if he makes it through the surgery because he's not in the best of health as it is.
I'm at the point where all I can think is how will I be able to deal with it if he dies during or after surgery? My Dad had the surgery and died a couple of months later and losing my Mom in January and my Aunt in March I don't think I can deal with losing him now. These past two years I felt that there was a chance we would get back together but if he's not here that chance is gone and I'll be more alone than ever.
As usual....lately....I have to thank you guys in advance for being so great and listening to my problems and tales of woe in my life. You're all awesome
My question for you is just how much misery can one person take before they totally break down?2 people like this
4 responses
@ArmyChick (488)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Well im so sorry to hear this. I know this is easier said than done, but you have to look at it in another way. This man has taught you to love all over again. Be greatful for that. And always remember, God removes things and people from our lives for a reason. He may not be the person for you. I know thats hard to believe or even hard to swallow, but it could be true. Dont look at it as being miserable, look at it as a blessing. You actually made it out of the situation alive. Also look at it as a learning experience. Im sure you probably thought you couldnt live without him, well now you see that you can. I dont know how good this advice is, but i hope it at least makes you feel a little better. I will be praying for the both of you. 
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
18 Mar 08
In a way I believe everything you say is true but at my age... I think I'm done with "learning experiences" and I'm ready to just start enjoying my life and I just know it should be with him. Thanks for the prayers they are so appreciated!
I think I'm done with "learning experiences" and I'm ready to just start enjoying my life and I just know it should be with him. Thanks for the prayers they are so appreciated!
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
19 Mar 08
Ohhh sweetheart! I'm so sorry that you have to endure even more stress. For your ex, you need to keep doing what you are doing and just be there for him and be his rock through all of this. I know it's hard because you are so scared and stressed out about the situation. But if you can, try to spend as much time with him as you can, even if it's via IM or on the phone. As for your question, I think everyone's breaking points are different. You've been so much, and you've shown how strong you really are. I honestly think most people would have had their spirits broken completely by now, had they been in your place. I admire you so much for your strength, compassion and your ability to care for others even when you yourself are hurting. The rest of your friends and I are here for you hon...if you need to vent, just remember that I'm only a PM away. Big warm hugs to you my friend.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Mar 08
Thank you so much katlady2. You are the reason I feel comfortable talking abou my problems here. Some of the responses I read in the morning stay with me all day and help through the rough parts. I can never tell you how much I appreciate you all for being here for me....
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I can totally relate. Tons of my friends are been dying lately. There is no way to prepare for it or make it hurt less. All you do is pray, keep the faith and hope for the best. Good luck!
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
19 Mar 08
oh, honey, you have had so many burdens these last few years. But, this one is not a loss... it may be a gain.... I know it is difficult, but try to not pre-worry. This surgery may be quite successful and the two of you may have many years to build precious memories upon.
