Sometimes you just hate to see them coming

Relative or not they are a guest in your home. They have no right to do anything other than what you would regard as a normal courtesy. They can ask for a drink and you may tell them to help themselves, but that is different from just going to the fridge and looking to see what's there. you cannot be upset if they ask, but if they don't , that is just unacceptable. To me, it's like going through a lady's handbag - you just don't do it. The problem with relatives though, is being able to tell them off without causing offence.

Oh, this is just too much. They actually write on your calendar? I'm sorry, but I'd be saying something. The home isn't their's, they don't pay the bills, so why should they come in and expect to be a boss? Now I've told family/friends to make themselves at home and feel free to get a drink in the fridge or whatever, but I would have a problem with someone just coming in and doing all that on their own. That's beyond rude. If you hold your tongue (and don't lock your door when you see them coming), you're a much stronger person than I.

Oh how I know what you mean. You just don't walk into someones house and start doing things like it is yours. I am great ful... NO one comes over... I don't know if that is really or good or bad! LOL I plan to have my birth mom stay this year for a couple days... I hope. And I don't know if I would really care if she did that our not. I have only know her two years. But I feel like it has been forever!

Aww man I would be most annoyed KB if relatives of mine did that. That is just not on and very disrespectful. It's no doubt crossing the line and depending on how long thet were going to stay there, I would probably let them use my laptop for a short period of time, let them have something to eat and also get them to fix something for ALL of us LOL, and then tell them that this is the channel we are watching at the moment and to leave it at that. You know when I know people are coming around for a visit, I put all my bills, notices, personal stuff, laptop and sorts in my bedroom and lock it. And if they ask for something in particular I just tell them I don't have it or my husband has it LOL

This is why I don't enjoy having people in my house. And let's not even go to where people will use anything for an ashtray, even though you've already asked them politely not to smoke. Or how about the ones that use your bathroom and don't flush? The list is endless. *sigh* My mother treats me as if I'm as senile as she is becoming. When she comes to my house, she is always writing things on my calendar. I though of moving it to behind my bedroom door, but that would put it out of sight and out of mind, and then I really would become senile. I solved the problem though. The last time she chicken scratched all over my calendar, I calmly got up and pulled a fresh one out of a drawer and replaced the one that had been defiled. Mom gave me such a look, but didn't say a word. She just wrote all over the new one. Well thank heavens for Christmas time and free calendars! I just reached for another and replaced the second one. After the fifth one she gave up and handed me her pen. LOL She's never done it since and my life is a lot more organized because I can actully read what I'VE written on it. LOL

Yes I think your visitor was out of line. I had some visitors once that opened up drawers, cabinets, I mean everything. They were relatives but still it was unnerving. Especially when at their home everything is under lock and key. Oh well *shrugs*

ya those unwanted guests are indeed a great nuisance. sometimes you really want to avoid them but you cannot. but still then they are a part of our own life and such things are bound to happen.and we should learn to live with them.

I would have to say excuse me but this is my house and you have no right to tell my son to change the channel on the tv or go through my bills or anything else. That would make me really angry. I'm not rude either but when I get enough of something I speak up.

It is your home... it is up to you to set the rules. Most people will take and take and take... You have to draw the line and let them know where the line is. Being nice... friendly and polite... is not about issuing a licence to people to walk all over you.

How did I miss this discussion sweety? I don't think you are being at all pernickity sweety in fact I think I would definitely have to say something to them, I like people to feel comfortable in my home, my friends help themselves from my fridge etc but that is because I have asked them to,many , many times - besides they are always putting things in there! lol I think you have been remarkably patient and polite whereas they haven't been so considerate! You don't have to be rude sweetheart just very nicely ask them not to read your personal things or would they mind turning the tv channel back to where it was as someone was watching it! Its worth a try surely! xxx

Oh this sort of behaviour really annoys me. I have a couple of people that visit and they don't even hide the fact that they are reading your pinboard notes or calendar, it is rude, but the way they may look at it is ii it is private why put it on display, why because we need instant access ourselves to check schedules etc. I would actually say 'do you min not writing on my calendar, it is mine if I wanted these facts written on them I will write them on myself. Asking to use computer not a problem I even have a nieghbour come in and use mine sometimes as they are not online, but also to change the channel over without asking is impolite so you would not be impolite in saying something either. Open the fridge etc. I always tell visitors I will make first cup of tea after that they are to help themselves, as I am not a maid either. I always make them welcome, but it is my home and there must be boundaries as they are the guest. If someone takes it in there own mind to discipline my children I will say to them that they are my child and I am dealing with it. Ellie :D

I have never had anyone in my family do that, they would not dare! Even my parents would not dare to. That is just disrespectful to me, it is your house, your personal place you do not want people coming in taking over and acting like the house is theirs, and I do think you should say something, it is very cheeky, family or not! My sister in law has this problem with her in laws, they do exactly the same thing and she hates it, but she will not say anything either. I told her it is your house and they are guests, they should behave like guests and not like it is their second home!

No I do not think you are just being persnickety as I would not like people to do some of the things you just described in my home. I did not even like it when my mom would rearrange things in my kitchen as if I was still just six years old. And I really dislike someone thinking they can raid my refrigerator any time they want. One friend of my husbands would sometimes come in and take the milk carton out and drink from it and my husband was really mad at me because I screamed" now look what you did yuck you just cost me a half gallon of milk:" well the jerk did hand me the money to buy more milk and I accepted it. I do not drink from my milk carton and woe be to anyone else in my house who does, yuck.