Whining, just as bad?

Hi mom4kids, If we are all a 'global village' like so many people like to believe, then isn't it 'correct' and reasonable to correct another's child, so long as it is done kindly? I don't know if, in doing so (correcting a behavior), one has to be critical at all of any parent. Sometimes other parents learn from people who correct their child in a healthy way that the parents haven't yet tried. If someone's feelings get hurt (a parent), then, wouldn't this open up an opportunity to sort out a problem, even if it is a problem in how the parent feels about correcting behaviors of their child?

I hate it, my daughter is 2 and she is just at the screaming and whining stage, and if she wants her brothers toys, or they take something from her she will scream so loud its a wonder the police do not turn up thinking we are murdering her! My hubby and I go mad and we keep putting her in her place, and she will learn eventually just like my others did, but my word its awful. I have a friend whose daughter is the same age as mine and she is awful she will scream in the shops and everything, I told her about it though and said to her, if you do not stop her doing that now she will just do it all the time, you have to stop her. See mine would not dare do it in public. I used to get so embarrassed when my friends kids would kick off in a shop! No it is definately not acceptable, to be honest with you I think you should try and say something to your friend she may not realise how bad it is, some people do not unless it is pointed out. Just try and do it tactfully! Not like me, bull in a china shop, and just said what I thought to my friend, good job she knows what I am like and does not take offence easily!

I agree with how you handle the situation. I do daycare and know all to well what kids do when others take there toys. I have taught them that if someone takes your toy {you have to be playing with it} then you ask nice for it back. If they dont give it back you come get me and I will deal with it. If you whine about it I get the toy. Now if you were playing with a toy and put it down and another kid takes it then oh well....you wernt playing with it. The other thing I hate is if a child takes another childs toy and that child hits the one who took the toy. That means The toy is mine and now you sit in the corner. Like you said if they get away with it at home they are going to think its an acceptable behavior and do it in public. Question for you. If shes at the store and her kid wants something and she says no do they whine? If so does she give them what they want? I sure hope not. Its just teaching the kids they can get whatever they want by whining. Sorry but in the real world when there older they cant whine to get everything. You have to tach them now or they will never learn and you will hear whining forever.

I agree with you and it is a touchy situation to say something to another Mom. These years are the years when kids learn how to deal with things. Teaching kids the appropriate thing to do when having something taken from them will prepare them for later life situations. Kids need to learn to use words instead of whining about things. I think this is a important lesson to teach a child.

I agree with you completely. Whining and screaming are not acceptable any more than taking a toy is acceptable. My son is 18 months old. He started screaming and whining when he wanted something about a month ago. I told him "Stop. Use words. Tell me what you want.' If that didn't work I said 'Show me.' Within about a week the whining nearly stopped. He would go to the fridge and hold the handle and scream until he got our attention. I would tell him to use words and tell me what he wants. He would stop crying and say 'juice.' I would tell him. 'Great job using words. Thank you for asking nicely.' And I give him some juice. Now he only whines a little when he is tired or forgets. My husband told me he thought I was crazy to think the 'use your words' line would work, but it did work and now we have very few episodes like the ones that were happening constantly just a couple of weeks ago. Now when he wants a drink he comes to me or my husband and says 'juice' and skips the whining altogether. I think the problem a lot of parents have is that, like my husband, they underestimate what children are capable of at a young age. So they figure they'll wait till he's older to teach him that. But by then the habit has been formed and it is very difficult to change. So the parents don't want to deal with the screaming or do the work, so they give kids what they want. Problem with that approach is that it gets worse as kids get older, and those kids are going to be having tantrums when they try to punish them for misbehaving as teenagers. I don't know if you've ever seen a teenager have a full blown temper tantrum, but it isn't pretty. Good for you for teaching your children, not only that whining is unacceptable, but how to solve their problems on their own.

My oldest children are 5 and 6 years, so they really dont whine about a toy. They yell at eachother. I tell them if it was on the floor and you werent playing with it then your brother has the right to pick it up and play with it. They rarely ever take toys from eachother. On the other hand my 16 month old thinks that every toy in his sight is his whether someone is holding it or not. He yells and fights his brothers for it. When he acts like that I sit him on the couch and explain to him that the toy is not his and he cant take it from his brother. Then I give him one of his toys after he has calmed down. As far as whining, he pretty much screams a high pitch scream when he wants something. I tell him I cant understand him and since he talks really well and understands what I am saying very well, I tell him to use his words instead of screaming at me. Most of the time he calms down and says what he wants.

OMG I am so with you on this one. We have had the same issue with our kids. We tell them don't whine or scream it doesn't help. Just ask for the toy back and then we will make them give it back. My nephew and my daughter are 7 months apart and fight over everything. My nephew screams at the top of his lungs when his cousin takes things from him. I make her give it back always, but wish that he wouldn't think that screaming was what got it back for him.