A secret relationship,hush...
By gxnfly
@gxnfly (1147)
China
March 19, 2008 6:10pm CST
My boyfriend and me,we kind of in a secret relationship.We keep it a secret from both our parents for 5 years ever since we fell in love.
Back then,I was in my third year of my high school,he was a freshman in college.I didn't want my parents find out about it because they thought I shouldn't involve in any relationship with anyone when I was about to take the final exam to get to college.
But now,it 's still a secret!I think we have get used to it.There is generation gap between us and parents,they don't understand us,and we don't want our parents get involved in our relationship.We feel a lot more freedom without parents interfere.
And I also heard from someone that his parents had prejudice on me when I was in high school.That's kind of a reason we keep it a secret.
What about you?What's your opinion about this?
3 people like this
16 responses
@magilives (261)
• Australia
20 Mar 08
Wow! How have you managed to keep your relationship a secret for so long. I don't think I could do that. If you are both adults now, I don't see why you should still be keeping it a secret. Even if his parents didn't like you when you were younger, once they meet you they may come to like you. If not then it is just something that you will have to deal with. They will need to find out eventually anyway if you decide to get married so why not get it over with and know where you stand with them. Just my opinion.
Good luck!
3 people like this
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
20 Mar 08
so, what happens when the two of you wanna get married? you still gonna keep that a secret and don't you think that before the two of you think about going down that road that both parents need to get used to the idea of you being in a relationship? the two of you are now adults and in college or out of college. i think it's past time you tell both your parents that you two are in a relationship. five years is a long time to hide something like that from your parents and i really think the right thing to do is to tell them. good luck and keep us posted. God bless
@gxnfly (1147)
• China
20 Mar 08
As for me ,marriage seems so far away,I didn't even think about it before.I mean it still got a long time to go before I got marriaged,I am only 24 years old right now.I will keep the posted till the time I think is appropriate.I am good enouth for him in his parents' eyes.I will tell them when I am good enough.
LOL.
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
20 Mar 08
As a parent I would never want my children to keep a secret like that from me. Even if I didn't approve of it that is my problem to deal with not theirs. Now that you are both adults I think you need to be open and honest with your parents. If you keep secrets from them that isn't being adults now is it. Take a deep breath and say oh by the way we are dating. I am not sure I would go back to the we kept it a secret for 5 years. They may not take that so well. Just bring it up like nothing is wrong with it and move on. For his parents well he will have to deal with that. As long as you respect them as his parents you will be fine. What they think really doesn't matter. You two will be fine just bite the bullet and get it over with.
2 people like this
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
I think that you are old enough so it is time now to let your parents know about your relationship because sooner or later they will. What if something unexpected occur- like being pregnant or both of you will get caught or someone will tell your parents about it? I think it is more of a problem. It's just normal that parents gives out comments whether it is approval or disapproval of the relationship. Just consider it, but still you are an individual that can decide for your own. It is good to hear their opinion but if you think you can make decisions now, then go for it. Your greatest challenge is to make his parents like you. Do not stop for the thought of them not liking you, act on it. You are lovely, you can do it! =)
2 people like this
@fayfun (37)
• China
20 Mar 08
I had the same situation when I was in high school.Our love lasted for 3 years and our parents knew nothing about it.But in fact,I thought our parents knew the thing,they did nothing because they love us more than we could imagine.
So nothing to be scared of,just tell your parents,I think they will finally understand you.
2 people like this
@mitchiegavar (7)
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
wow!you keep your relationship for 5years... But for me i don't agree in keeping a relationship with your family. even though it's complicated you still need to tell them the truth... show to them how much you love each other...
i had a boy friend before, i keep it a secret to my mom... but it doesn't work...
so,Both of you should tell to your families... because living in a lie is not good...and you'll get a freedom... it will help you to have a strong relationship...
Good luck!!!
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
you are still together with this person? you met when he was in college and i think he's graduated now... right?
why haven't he tried to introduce you to his parents? don't wyou want to formally meet them?
you have been going out 5 years, i think that is long enough. my frist boyfriend we hid it for only about 3 months and we were together 3 years. my parents know about him and his family loves me. :)
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
20 Mar 08
You are grown now you can do what you want without your parents permission. The only way your parents are going to get to know your boyfriend is if you bring him around them. There's no reason to keep it a secret you are an adult not a child.
1 person likes this
@laurika (4532)
• United States
20 Mar 08
Wow that is really for long time, i didn't even think that you can keep it as a secrte for such a long time. But i think now when you are together for such a long time, you should said it to your parents since it looks like serious relationship. I wish you good luck when you will tell them, hope they will be only happy for you.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
20 Mar 08
I think it is really sad that you have both had to keep your love for each other a secret, just because of your parents feelings, I really hope none of my children ever feel like this with me and their father. I guess that this will have to come out one day, especially if you are planning a life and future together, because you cannot hide it forever. I just hope that when it does all come out they will not interfere and keep their feelings to themselves and support you all the way, because no matter what they think or feel it is your lives and not theirs. Good luck for the future, take care.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Mar 08
Wow it must have taken some doing to keep that a secret thatlong and what makes you think that now you are probably an adult that your parents do not understand you. why not come out in the open with it now you are married and you may be surprised that you may find things in common with your parents.they were young once too. why do you think they would interfere? You are grown up now and married. i really relished sharing my marriage with my mom and my sis also you willhave children are you going to deprive your mom of being a grandmother?: please think about this. I know about generation gaps but they can be crossed with some understanding on both sides.
1 person likes this
@lovelemonlee (235)
• China
20 Mar 08
It is not easy to keep your relationship for such a long time, but you did it.I'm sure the love between you two is solid. I guess you are a college student(maybe a senior?) and your boyfriend must have graduated now. So both of you have been grown up, and don't need to hide any more. I think it's time for you to meet each other's parents, especially you two have a marriage plan in the future. You said his parents had some prejudice on you, maybe that's some midunderstanding caused by some prejudice because they don't really know about you,you need to get along with them and to find a way to eliminate this prejudice.And that would help you to solidify your relationship.
1 person likes this
@longsperes (64)
• China
20 Mar 08
there is no priority for me whether it's secret or public now. Many high school students make the relationship as a secret from their parents in China because of Chinese tradition. Amorism between teenagers is not allowed in 1990s. The most important thing for those teenagers is working hard to get a higher score and finally being permitted by a famous college at that time. Now it's much better because there are so many youngs who are in love and the parents' concept is much opener than before.so high school students don't need to keep their relationship as a secret from their parents any more if they don't care. they will be understood . of course you could choose it as a secret too.
Be happy to see youngs love.
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
20 Mar 08
I guess you're still young. However, I hope you don't plan on keeping your relationship a secret forever. The biggest fear of parents is that their children don't finish school for foolish reasons. So after you finish college and find a source of income, you can let your parents know that you're into a relationship. Even if they don't approve of it then, don't worry about it. It's your life.
@Bethany1202 (3431)
• United States
20 Mar 08
I agree with the others: You are an adult and have no reason to hide this relationship any longer. Obviously it's a stable relationship and you really do love each other if you've been together for more than five years. That's quite an accomplishment for two young people, so congrats. I think you should tell the world!
