"Missing" friend comes back to tell ME her problems!

I agree with a lot of the other responces here, but its funny how when we are in need of a friend we can end up choosing the wrong ones. I knew someone who would be there one minute and then disappear out of my life for months, she always managed to hurt my feelings, I would get upset at her letting me down and vow not to have nothing to do with her anymore, yet as soon as she phoned me I would forget all the bad things and be talking to her like she had never done anything wrong. Why, simply because she was the only friend I had and I could talk to her about anything and I needed to have someone other than my husband who I could talk to about things. So I know how hard it is when you need someone, but from an outsiders point of view I can see that it looks like she has just got in touch with you for her own selfish needs rather than yours, it sounds like she is probably best forgotten and if you go with it she may only ending up disappearing again once she has what she wants.

I think your friends family careless of your friend so you should tackcare of your friend.

"A friend in need; is a friend indeed." Sometimes, it is just difficult to understand others and as it is, we sometimes find that we are unable to understand ourselves too. After reading various views. I'd just like to offer you another perspective. Most of the time it is similarities in our situations, likings and circumstances that brought about friendships. As you had related with her through craiglist and similar r/s situations, so both of you came together with similarities to relate. However, we need to remember that we all still have differences. Be it physical and mental there will be differences. And these differences dictate our behaviour and perception. Not forgetting the environment that is around each one of us as well. Coming from a broken r/s, has certain effects in each one of us and each incident brings about different degrees of pain and trauma. You may come off it well and unscathed but that does not speak for your friend here. She may have some effects on her that might have taken quite a toll on her confidence with people, relationship and/or herself as well. Sad, to say there is no way to really know until she speaks out or you are able to live with her and experience and see for yourself. You see, there are different thresholds in each of us and this is very individual. As you are aware that she is ill and her health is equally a "big" question mark here. I think it is natural that as we grow old, being ill is inevitable and I do not think we know if she has a serious condition or if she was struck with one recently during her brief absence. There is no telling right? I am sure she care about the present friendship that the both of you have. I just anticipate that she is suffering deeply and just could not bring herself to speak up and out. You may say otherwise but seeing that the both of you had met and enjoyed yourselves tells me otherwise. Just as you are sensitive not hearing from her for a while, she can be equally sensitive to mention her problems. Imagine, everytime the both of you meet and she has those problems with only you to turn to. She may feel as a liability than an asset to you. Let me ask you, who doesn't want to be the good guy and the stronger one. But, in a friendship we just tend to forget to share. Share not only the joys but the woes. I think you should try and bring her out of the shell and let her see the other (weak) side of yours. Let her know that the both of you are human and that the both of you do have woes equally. I do not know if the need for medication is genuine but I think it is a hint that she had been ill for quite sometime and that she was struck with a major one recently. Do encourage her to speak out and as you had always been the shoulder to lean and cry on. Who knows one day you may need hers. Remember, as odd as it is, how the both of you met and became friends - it is still a "miracle" and a good co-incidence that the both of you cross paths and I hope that you will cherish this chance and brief acquaintance (Brief - for we have a brief life span here on earth). Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. - Helen Keller

I have got friends like that it is all me,me,me it is only them that have problems never ever ask how I am, at times it makes me so angry and then I dont get in touch, then at other times I am not that bothered and I am happy to listen to them talking about themselves all the time. I suppose it depends on how lonely I am at the time. Good Luck any way.

I think yoou need this so called friend like an extra hole in the head so forget her and her aches and pains too. she would probably give you a pain in the neck. And has not she ever heard you should not take someone else's meds in the first place?does she ever listen to you and actually relate to your problems? If not dump her.

I can't give you any advice because I never met such situation. But It's obvious that you like her . You said she almost forgot you for most a year. Maybe She is just a real kind woman. You said that she was hypochondriac and her health was not good.She didn't deal with you just because she didn't make you any trouble. If this is true, you met a great person and a perfect friendship then .