can you help me to find out whether he still loves me or not??
By sweta123
@sweta123 (153)
India
March 20, 2008 10:18am CST
hi friends
i want to discuss something about my relation ship with my boy friend..actually i am unable to understand whose fault is it?
i have a boy friend since last 4 yrs ..like initially he was very understanding and talkative..he talks very sweet and impressive so i fell in love with him but mainthing is that i never express myself or i never talk like him..like i talk normally not so sweet or pamper type which he usually talks and wants me to talk like tht only..
after one year he started forcing me to talk more and talk sweet as he talks..but i couldnt talk so we used to fight for tht..then day by day we started fighting for small small things like ..mainthing is that i am not so serious type of girl and he is very serious type and takes everything seriously..i triedto change myself but what happend his expectation level is too high which i am unable to touch..
now a days he is geeting angry on me for small small things i dont understand why he is reacting like this..he is also going through some other tensions..but onething i wonder if he has some tensions then is it good that he ll always get angry on me or he wants to come out of this relationship..
i asked him manytimes but i didnt get any answer like what does he want?may be due to society like all knows about our relationship he is unable to come out ??all these things are coming to my mind??
what i should do to read his mind??how do i know what he wants??please help me..
1 person likes this
7 responses
@aowaow (1516)
• Indonesia
17 Apr 08
Well, I think he is a man that compounded too much feminine side inside him. The man is in the changing emotional role type 3; the man that needed more support from his woman.
I will warned him the first and the last time, if he keeps like that, then I will leave, without reason.
If you still love him, then you had no chance but following what he wants, you always need to give her your support and "to be listened". But I think this will be heavy for you and the relationship itself.
If you told him that he is this kind of guy, he will directly confront you. And pushes you into the corner without giving a chance for you to talk.
He is the guy who needs to share out his feeling rather than taking his time to listen to the woman, he is the guy who talks too much. He compounded the feminine side, and makes you should face him using your masculine.
This is heavy. You are not yourself, and he is not himself. This relationship is vice versing, and forcing both emotional flipped upside down. This relationship will end up badly if you can't stand it anymore and face him with anger, or he won't change and still feel that he is the right one.
It's up to you. To me, I had mentioned that in the above.
@aowaow (1516)
• Indonesia
30 Apr 08
I understand your feeling. Your emotional feel overwhelmed. But...
....this isn't just the way. A man who compound too much feminine over himself is a scarier figure to me. I didn't want to open my past old wound about this man anymore.
thx for the mark. may God shows His bright to you.
@sweta123 (153)
• India
30 Apr 08
i think you are right.he is like that only.and i can understand what you are saying bu sometimes i feel so helpless tht i listened and do whatever he says.actually i am not ready to accept that end up stuff that is the main thing.if once i get tht much confidence and guts may be i can take any strong decission.
@vishwhot (3)
•
6 May 08
according to my xperience as i had a gal friend with whome had an affair of one year. in the begining we both were happy
but six months later problems started like yours i used to behave the same way wat u have mentioned about your boyfriend.I used to feel that she's avoiding without talking to me properly and not taking things seriously.if she doesnt call me like everyday then that day i wud get frustrated that whether she is having relation wid sum other guy as we both use stay in different places.i used to simply doubt on her fight with her make her cry and at last lost her or u can say she was interested in only lust love as now shes having relation with many guys. in the end realised that it was not love just an infatuation attraction.i had to leave my engineering cause of her sake
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
20 Mar 08
The only way you could ever know for sure is to hear it from him. You can not read his mind. what you should be asking yourself is are YOU happy and do YOU love him? It sounds like he is trying to change you into something that you are not and that isn't right. You need to think about your own feelings in this and decide if you want to stay in this relationship. As far as what he is thinking or feeling, the only way is to sit and talk with him. If he refuses to talk then you have to decide if you want to be with a man that is unable to talk about feelings.
@sweta123 (153)
• India
20 Mar 08
you know though our relationship is not soo good for last 3 years but the 1st year was so good that still after all these fights and manythings i love him..i tried to talk with him manytimes but he says onething he wants everything in his way which i am unable to do..i ve also some problems i cant completely go according to him..so whenever i tried to discuss abt our relationship he says he had already discussed all these things before which i ve already forgotten and one line he says he needs everything in his way..
what to do?
@coly20032003 (428)
• China
20 Mar 08
I think for two people,the most important thing is communication.Maybe you need to sit down and consider the situation between you and listen to others heart.You should try to understand other's thought and feelings.Love is the thing,the emotion between both two,as long as you know what your lover need,you can be happy and enjoy the sweet of love.
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
22 Mar 08
Hi sweta. I gather from what you have said that you're having communication problems in the relationship because you do not communicate on the same level. This can be a major problem in any relatonship but what concerns me is that as a young couple involved for four years you can only speak of one good year.
I believe that you will both have to think seriously if you can continue like this inspite of what others may think. You seem to love him very much. Have you ever thought of maybe seeing a counsellor? A nuetral party might help you to sort things out.
@sweta123 (153)
• India
30 Apr 08
actually we dont have such counsellor facility here..i also want to go to some counsellor but i dont know where i can get a counsellor..thats why i am worried and for different different situations different different things are coming to my mind.i am feeling like mad.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
17 Apr 08
i think if there is problem in the way of talking, then it was not just the love. in love these things should not happen, that means he wants you to change for him. if that be the situation, then he is not able to accept you the way you are. talk with him and find.
