this is a real problem and is gonna need lots of advice please help
By ROXYZMOMMY
@ROXYZMOMMY (245)
United States
March 20, 2008 3:14pm CST
okay here goes.
my husband has 2 good friends
my husbands best friend is frank and
my husbands good friend is chris
chris has a daughter named jennifer
chris "had" a girlfriend named candy (the girls mother).
a few years ago ...
chris was living with his girlfriend and his daughter.
then his girlfriend took off with his friend frank,
but chris didnt know because she didnt tell him anything.
she left while he was at work.
she had been gone for 2 months and in those next few weeks out of those two months,chris still didnt know where his daughter or his girlfriend were.
frank allowed candy and jennifer to stay there at his moms
house because candy was now his girlfriend and jennifer was
now in his step daughter.
(chris' daughter was now franks step daughter.)
well time passes and chris and my husband become good friends. chris needs a shoulder to cry on.theyre together everyday.
but all the while my husband misses his best friend. frank.
he thinks what frank has done is wrong. he doesnt want to seem like a traitor to his friend chris.
frank never calls.. never calls my husband, never calls chris.
chris finds out about where they are and is nonchalant. he doesnt care anymore. he just wants to see his daughter on the weekends.
(he gets that privilige.)
my bestfriend sara and chris are seeing eachother at this point. theyre happy.
chris and my husband, are not so close.
my husband feels like since chris hooked up with sara they dont want to socalize with us anymore.that he was being used. and chris is mabye, truely not a friend.
he only needed him when he was down and now he has found love again, so he is not needed.
when my husband threw away his realtionship with frank.all for chris' friendship.
well frank and candy have both called us the other day.
they want to see us.
my husband and i are torn between 2 friends.
he is torn between frank and chris.
i am torn between seeing candy and what she did to chris my best friends boyfriend.
how would sara(my best friend)feel if i was hanging out
with her boyfriends, ex girlfriend?
how would chris feel?
how should we feel?
we really dont know.
3 people like this
7 responses
@sweetestkate (133)
• United States
20 Mar 08
I would pray about the whole thing and I think it would be a good idea to let all your friends know that you don't want to talk about the past and you don't want to be involved in their past. You just want to be a friend and you don't want to gossip about them and you don't want to hurt them.
@reeseyj (906)
• United States
20 Mar 08
Do you know why Candy left while Chris was at work, maybe he is abusive. If Chris is not abusive and him and Frank were good friends then Frank is not someone you want hanging around. If he had a chance he would probably do the same thing to your husband. If Frank and Chris were not good friends than Frank has no obligations to Chris and can do what ever he wants and it would be Candy who was in the wrong. Now Sarah and Chris are together and you say Chris does not call, well people are always like that when they find someone new but it should last for a little while and he should start coming around again, if not just leave him alone. I say leave them all alone. Really you guys do not have to make a choice as long as they treat you right who cares.
@muse02 (213)
• United States
21 Mar 08
This is a very tough situation. If Sara and Chris isn't even talking to you, I would talk to Candy and Frank. If they bring up what is going on just tell them that you would rather not get involved anymore. Just stay mutual! I know that would be hard, but in order to keep your "friends" that is what I would do.
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
21 Mar 08
Why does Sara even need to know? you are allowed to have separate sets of friends. And sara started dating chris after all this went on, she knew you's were friends with frank. Your hubby probably really wants to see his bestfriend so you should stop thinking about what your other friend will think and make your husband happy. Just make sure none of them end up at your house at the same time. That could be messy. Just as long as you keep them all away from one another than everything should be fine.
@ROXYZMOMMY (245)
• United States
21 Mar 08
were going over there today.. i think. were not gonna say anything to anyone. but we do have to worry about the daughter jennifer telling daddy.. chris. " i seen uncle ricky" (my husband)
the biggest problem here is the loyalty factor.
i know by doing this it is wrong for sara but..
ill do it for my husband.
i mean its hard for him too because he works with chris everyday.
he doesnt see frank anymore.. not until today.. oh guys.. u better pray for us
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
21 Mar 08
Not that its a big deal, but not everyone can be friends all the time. If it bugs you say something to "Sara" Test the waters. Ask. Unless you think it'll start world war 3. Keep the peace and just keep things status quo. You will never know all sides of the story. Sounds like a big drama to me. Hope it all gets worked out. ALmost sounds like a Jerry Springer episode..be careful
@ROXYZMOMMY (245)
• United States
21 Mar 08
ive already asked, and i got chewed out by her.
i knew her before i knew my husband so i feel real bad.
@nelly5 (1424)
• United States
20 Mar 08
As much as you and your husband may want to voice your oppinion to all the parties involved. I say, just keep silent about it. I mean be there for your friends when they need a shoulder to lean on but I am telling you from experience, if you get too involved, you will somehow end up being the bad guy in this messed up situation. I would simply tell all parties involved that you are not involved and that you don't want to have any part of the entire situation. I would tell all people that you are friends with all the people on both sides of the situation and that you hope that they can respect that, if they are true friends, they will. I know it is probably hard to stay quiet about this, but I am only speaking from experience, somehow all fingers will point at you and put blame on you or your husband. Stand your ground and let them know you are not getting mixed up into this situation b/c you are friends with all of them. I hope this makes sense to you, and most of all, I hope that it helps. Have a great day, and please do, let us all know what happens.
~Nelly~
