Playing favorites

yes i do have that in my family ,my mom plays favorites to my older bro,and sis,its unreal how they can do or say anything and mom always sticks up for them ,i mean its really crazy ,my bro or sis can say the sky is green with yellow polka dots ,and i'll say no its blue ,and mom will say your bro or sis is right,this used to drive me crazy when i was young but now i'm used to it as crazy as that sounds

unfortunately yes. My oldest son looks just like his father and my youngest son looks just like me, so when my boys go to their dad's house everyone favors my oldest and leaves my youngest out of everything. It's very aggravating and i try and draw that to their attention, but it doesn't work. often times i have to console my youngest because something was bought for my oldest and not him or something like that. it drives me crazy and i wouldn't let them go there if it weren't court ordered that he gets them every other weekend. makes me so sad to see my youngest son hurting like that because they don't know how to treat them equally. God bless

I thought my husband was playing favourites (the little one being his favourite) and he thought I was playing favourites (with the older one being my favourite). But the fact is that none of us were. It just so happens that my two kids are so different....and though we love both the same.....the older one is more like I am and the younger one is more like his dad....so, it's easier for us to relate to each child separately. But I had an aunt...who didn't really like her second child...and it was very obvious....the second child wasn't as pretty or fair-skinned as her other two kids. But it turns out that the other two were spoilt rotten because of it...and didn't care for my aunt...while it was the daughter she didn't like that took care of her when she was ill and before she passed away. With 9 kids, my grandmother had her favourite too. In my husband's family, he is the favourite of his grandmother (with who he grew up....and she's 93 and still raving about my husband to all and sundry who would listen)....while his sisters were his dad's favourite. Personally, though I never thought about it in my family, I always knew that I was close to my dad...and I thought it was because we had the same kind of thoughts. But off late, I have been thinking that my sister is my mother's favourite (not that I am jealous or anything...just stating a fact)....maybe because she is the baby of the family.

I am guilty of doing that in our family. I just love my oldest niece, and she loves me. i got to spend a lot of time with her when she was little. Now I am not so well so I cannot go visit my family much. As a result i have a one yr old niece that i have never met, and two nephews i do not know well. so i am pretty sure someone things i am playing favorits. And i sort of am. The three others are still too little to notice much - thats my defence. because i do not think this favoritism is any good at all

My Dad did that years ago with my kids. He gave my daughter a lot more attention than my son and even criticized my son more. I was always making sure that things stayed a little even by giving my son more attention when we were over at their house. There was no talking to my Dad about it or changing it. When we were growing up, my one of my brothers was the favorite as well. Consequently, I was never close to my Dad and my son wasn't either. whit

Yes I have that in my family and I hate it! Its really only my mom that does it. I used to blame myself for her doing it but I realized maybe thats just her way and dont put myself in the a situation with her anymore that will only end with my son and I getting the shaft.

I've seen that on my husband's side of the family when my daughter and my nieces and nephews were small. I don't think anyone was doing it on purpose but there was one niece and one nephew who were the golden children and the rest of the kids were kind of "just there". I think that's a shame because it really does have an effect on kids as they grow up. Annie

I just came across this. Here is what I think. There are family members on both sides that do this in most families. All I or anyone can do is try to not take it personally. And yes this can be difficult. But nobody is going to change anothers' perspective or their feelings. As for what goes on with my family yes this does go on. Nothing anyone can say or do. Most would deny it. Some of course would not. My daughter has one or two family members on each side that she is fond of. One of my sister inlaws has 2 children of her own. So my daughter has ocassional bouts with jealousy over this. She would like time with her aunt ALONE..easier said than done. But her aunt is a trooper and does try to spend quality time with her.What gets noticed and appreciated is the effort that is made. And that my daughter has a bond however big or small with this family member. It makes an impression that "Hey I count. I got noticed." And in a positive way.

As much as people don't want to play favorites, even parents can do this if they are not careful. I believe that it was said that one of my younger brothers seemed to be my Mother's favorite. I could never understand why, but apparently when he was younger he was a real cuddlebug. I, actually, was never terribly troubled by if my parents favored one of my siblings over me. I noticed that the youngest girl in the family was generally treated as my father's little princess until about the age of six. But it didn't bother me. (Now, I did notice that the princess I've referenced did, seemingly suddenly, fall out of favor. I wonder if it is better to have been a special darling for a brief period or if it is worse to fall from grace without knowing why?) I generally love most the children who need love the most. I am a caregiver and responsive in that way. Children who don't really seem to need care or attention get only what they seem to need. Others will get more. But.. is my daughter less loved than others? I do find that I can have some jealousy there. I was never worried if people loved me more or less than another. I never put myself in competition that way. But for the sake of my daughter, I certainly do notice and take offense quietly inside my heart. She is a precious treasure to me and so wonderfully outgoing. It kills me when people just don't seem to see her as a precious treasure. But, I might be suffering from a biased perspective. I love children. I will play with my niece or my nephew. I will look at them, for them, listen to them, talk with them. I will turn my attention towards them in ways that most of my family just doesn't do. Does one of my younger brothers seem to favor my daughter's nephew and niece? Maybe. Is my older sister more prone to be tolerant of my nephew, and seem more detached from the niece? I think so. Whom does dad favor? The Nephew. Mom? No idea. Even on the other side of the family, there are times when the boy-child is favored. But does anyone seem to see my daughter as a great shining star? I don't think so. Fortunately, for me, my daughter is the shining center of the world. I think, when I look at how other people love my daughter in comparison to other children, I am really imagining that their love of her is somehow a reflection of a love of me. In way that I never bothered myself with as a child, as an adult, I think I am suffering jealousy. Jealousy by proxy. And jealousy is bad. Fortunately, I am mostly able to cover over any disquiet I have about whom loves who most. It's there, somewhere, bugging me -- but I don't bring it out into the light of day and dwell upon it. If I feel any inadequacy in how much I have been loved or how much my daughter receives love, I can only shower more affection on my daughter to fill up that void. I pray she never grows tired of daddy's deep affection for her. :)

my mom and my younger sister used to go shopping with me and my two kids and they would often buy themselves cones and one for my son but none for my little girl so shecomes up to my mom who is of course her grandma and says where's lisa's cone gamma and my mom turned scarlet and myhusband huffed off and bought cones for Lisa rose and he and myself.Lisa rose wasthe youngest and very sweet and brain damaged yet she knew when she was being slighted. my hubby was furious and told my mom what was what.