bad comment about your kid.... how do you take it?

well I am a grandmother and I can tell you I would never treat one of my children any different than the other. now i do have a granchild who needs more than the other but in front of others they are all treated the same. I would never put up with any family member speaking bad to or about my child. if it takes staying away than thats what I would do as I would not subject my child to this. Im sorry this is happening to your child and it seems that it is the adults are the ones with the problems.

It is awful that relatives have there favourites in a familly but also a regular occurance I know this becuause my children are the least favoured by there fathers parents, there paternal grandparents adore their daughters children and do everything possible for them and buy them everything and my to are hardly seen let alone thought about, it bugged me and the childrens father a lot at first but then i realsied it was their loss and not my childrens, they have a loving family on my side thats all that matters. If i were you I would take it with a pinch of salt it does hurt at first but you will soon realise that the adults are the ones behaving like children and therefor are losing out.

I have not experience that but I truly understand your situation. I wish you can tell them honestly that its not fair since every individual is unique from each other and doing that especially if the kids will hear them will give a very bad impact on child's mind. He may grow up insecure, shy and afraid to excel in life because he might think there is someone better than him! Its time to correct them if I am in your situation, I will be brave enough to defend my opinion and what I think is correct so that as early as this time they know their limitations! Its ok to compliment other kids but never to compare them to anyone else!

Hey i know xactly what you mean. I have my 3 yr old son, and except my mom dad n sis, almost no1 appreciates my son 4 what he is. They say things about him like he is too naughty 4 his age n try 2 compare him with the other kids. I sometimes cant take it and just feel like to leave their place, but i just sit and think my son is just worth more. When he has a loving family for whom he means a world, i just shud not let these ppl hurt me. So i just say it on their faces to stop comparing my child, as i just cant take it. And they just stop at least in front of me. And rest all i just dont care so shudnt u , any child is just worth everything 4 parents...

[b][/b] There's nothing wrong in giving a serious thought, about the criticism or remarks made by elders, about your children pointing out their negative aspects or behaviour with a positive outlook.But I really can't understand this kind of strange and rude behaviour and that too from your relatives and what's more strange is at this tender age, poor boy, he seems to have started his journey into this cruel ,selfish and hypocrite world.But seriously, what can one comment on a 2 year old child. And if I were in your place, I would never accept anything of this sought,I would politely made them very clear,that I would not appreciate, these kind of comparisons or remarks and if needed, evaded the family gatherings until they get my point.

do not take those word seriously,you must believe your child is the best,your child is your true treasure,not others.

I have never experienced that. I can't imagine anyone saying anything negative or painful about a 2 year old. They are all adorable and cute at that age. Are you perhaps being too sensitive or is your family really that cruel? I really just can't imagine it. 2 year olds even at their worst are still just too cute.

I have 4 children and I have caught my mom doing some things that she didn't realize were hurtful. For instance, when I named my second some Griffen she said, "Well, I am sure glad that isn't Chandler's name!" Chandler is my son who is 17 months older. They are both her grandson's, what difference does it make what their names are? She favored Chandler quite a bit when he was little. He was her first grandchild. Now they have 10 biological grandchildren. When I realized that she was playing favorites, or if she said something hurtful; I didn't just let it pass. I called her out on it. It was the only way to make her realize what she was doing. Maybe you need to say something when people say painful things. Otherwise it probably won't stop.

You just have to let peoples comments on your kids go in one ear and out the other. They are not raising them You are!!!

You get over it and realize most of what people are willing to say to your face is actually true. If they are twilling to tell you your child is horrible to your face you can imagine things said to other people. Most people will lie a lie and lie some more about how much they like or how good your child is and they are full of $HIT! As parents we deal with it. The worst parents are those who get defensive at every little thing said about the their little do no wrongs who grow up and join in the gang beating the hell out of someone because they were bored. Kids like adults have flaws be the wiser parent and learn to recognize your child's and admit to them. Love your kids and do the best by them, even if that means admitting they are little monsters.

This happens to my 3 daughters. [[Example : My husband's mom wouldsay oh not doing good in math why not ask your cousin she's just great at it , you can learn from her ahh what a good girl she is. ]] What I would do is say I'm not going to talk to you if you compare my children to your favories!If were related then you better start to like my family. :]

I have an eight month old daughter and my grandmother is always criticising the poor little mite. I personally feel my daughter is the most beautiful and well behaved child in our entire family but because she comes from my mothers line and not my uncles (the favourite child) she is simply not considered good enough. Now most of the time I let it go over my head because nobody likes a family rift but sometimes I just have to say something. Our children are too young to be judged this way and I personally will not have my own family cause hurt to my child. Stand up and be proud of your beautiful creation and don't be afraid to say something, sometimes all it takes is a well phrased telling! And please don't let this stop you from seeing relatives you actually like. At the end of the day all your child needs is to know how proud YOU are of them!

I think it is aweful than anyone would ever say anything bad about a 2 year old, or any child for that matter. When this has happened to me which has not been a lot, I would say that person each child is different they each have their own talents. If they continued to be-rate my child I would have point it out to them that they are offending me. You can say it nicely, but they need to know that their comments are offending you.

Uggh.. I'm so sorry you're going through that! I think its a good idea that you stay away from family reunions - after all do you want your daughter around that kind of behavior? It sounds like their relationships are toxic, and it would bother me tremendously too. You might confront them gently on the issue? If it doesn't get resolved then keep all contact to a minimum.

I too have a two year old. I can understand your situation. I think avoiding a family reunion or allowing others to pass a comment is not good. You can tell them that as two grown up adults are not the same, two children may not be the same. Hence it is totally meaningless to compare. Negative comments can hurt a small child too. So you too need to say like " ebenthough my son is not able to speak well, he is good at playing, drawing or singing." I know howit hrt when everyone said my child is not speaking for his age. Keep on encouraging your child and let the child do something that may surprise those who make comments.

If it's unintentional, then I would point it out to the person who's saying it. I'd do it gently, say something like "I know you're proud of So-n-So's accomplishment,but my son hears you say that and at his age he thinks you're not proud of him." If the relative saying it is just a jerk, I'd tell my child not to pay him any mind because Uncle Whoever is just a jerk.

Well if they have all the reason to comment on my kid and I know from myself that my kid is acting that strange and people throw comment on my kid that is fine but if i know his potentials and as a mother I know him more than anybody else.. I take it and learn from it and see what I can do and discipline if I need to

Well, I have one child but have not experience such situation yet. But I can tell that its really difficult if I am in your situation. Well, it would be best not to listen to their comments since you know where you stand and you know more about your child. I'm sure everyone of us knows that each child is special in their own little way.

I do not understand it when I hear that people have favourites with regards to their children or grandchildren, and I think its awful that this happens, because children do pick up from it and it stays with them as they become adults, and I have seen it happen within families myself. I have four children and I do not have a favourite child at all, to me they are all my babies and they are all unique and special in their own individual ways and I love them all equally for it. I would react exactly the same as you and would feel extremely hurt for my child and I would be angry and I do not blame you for not wanting to go to family occasions. But your child has your love and will know how special he/she is to you and that will mean more than anything. If it was me if I thought they were making it obvious that they had favourites then I would probably say something, because I would not want my child picking up on it and feeling hurt by it, if they still carried on doing it then I just would not go to any family occasions.

Sometimes those who cause you the most hurt are your own relatives. I sympathise with you as I have seen this happen so many times. I really do not have a child of my own but I am very protective of my nephew. I cope with any such potential negative comments about him by being outspoken ensuring that everyone understands that I will not be coward. I do not over do it as I am quiet by nature but just ensure that when I speak regarding any matter that I am taken seriously. Children are not without their own little quirks to them which may be undiserable but as adults we are there to guide them not tear them down. If a relative ever crosses the line and do something to put down my nephew and try to make him feel the least of the lot (which has not surfaced so far) I would not take it lying down. Sometimes the only way to deal with persons who have a superior attitude is to be blunt. Say what you have to say and do not engage them in an arguement.