Caught in the middle.

In life we make many "aquaintences" and some "friends". Most of the people in my life fall into the first catagory, even though I spend a lot of time with them. I take friendships very seriously and have had some of the same friends since high school (I am now 58). I do what makes me happy although I try not to hurt anyone's feelings, and my friends know me well enough to know that. They also know that just because we may not talk or do things together for long periods of time it doesn't mean they are no longer my friend. To answer your question... Aquaintences may come and aquaintences may go but friends are forever. I would spend time with this new person and know that my friends would understand. If they didn't then they are not really my friend, just an aquaintence. Of course I would try to get my old friend to join in but if they didn't it would be their decision and not affect mine. Hope this makes sense to you all.

I’m caught in the middle of a couple of people right now- It drives me crazy--- so much so that I have to tell one that I’m not doing things--- just so she doesn’t feel bad- One is family though- I tell you I can’t stand to be made to feel guilty- so recently I stopped talking to this family member- I also delete all e-mails from her- My life has been so less stressful! So I’m sure I would have to choose in this situation as well--- unless of course they didn’t try to make me feel guilty for doing things with the other one.

Obviously, it depends a lot on how much you value both of these friends. Let's assume that once you've made a decision, the clock can't be turned back, because if you want to honour the old friend, then you lose the new one, and if you want to spend time with the new one, you lose the old one. However, if you want to keep the friendship of both of them, there's no point in trying to push them together. I would gently tell the old friend, that I have to work with the new one, and I've grown to like them. Tell the old friend that you value their friendship very much but you are not prepared to give up on this new friend because the old friend doesn't like them. Then, it's up to them to make the decision my friend, and you've not had to sever any ties. It would be sad if you were to give up on either of them, because you obviously get something out of being around both of them. The old friend may come round, but if not, they're not really worth worrying about as they are too jealous, and will ruin your life. Brightest Blessings.

I have been in a similar situation before. It wasn't a hard decision though cause the first "friend" wasn't such a good friend. She could be very mean at times and tended to take advantage of me.

friendship for me is not measured on solely on how long you have been together or how long you have know each other. friendship is more of how well you get along. But in this case, I don't think someone would have courage and be brave enough to go choose a way or another. It is right to in the middle I suppose, but if the other one (my old friend) would not one to be around just because of the very shallow reason of my new friend. I dont think that deserves to be called friendship. Friendship should have the openness to everything that can come your way -including new people you will get to meet along that journey.

ive been in this situation so it isnt all that hypothetical to me. after weeks of attempting to get them together to at least meet, i gave up, and told the "old" friend she was being selfish, that she didnt own me, and if she cared about me she wouldnt hand me ultamatums and try to dictate who i had for friends. it happened more times than i could count with this person, everytime i met anyone new shed have objections.. the friendship eventually ended.

I encourage my best friend to have other friends. It does not bother me or take away from our friendship. It can only add to our friendship. If she is happy I am happy. You know the old saying. NO ONE IS SO RICH THAT THEY CAN'T USE ANOTHER FRIEND! Have a Great Day!

Well first off I would demand to know for what reason and they have to be good that this so called friend would have against the new one. It would have to be more then just because.Maybe they know something about the new friend that I wouldn't know yet. But if they the friend couldn't come up with a legit answer then I would say I am sorry I like you both and I would have to see both of them separately until they atleast saw eye to eye if not then I wouldn't let either put the other down in any way in my presence. It is hard to deal with some friends who don't like the other friends you have and are always dogging them. If they are my true friend then they have to take me like I am and if that means stubborn then so be it. I would shedule times to be with each which is hard to do when you want both their.

Well if I am honest no matter how long we have been Friends she/he will not tell me who to have as Friends and who not I will tell him/her that she either has to get on with this Person or just accept that I have this Person as a Friend and will not drop that Person for a childish Attitude of lond Friend that I love very much but needs to accept the Situation

I would try my best to get the old friend to like the new friend and if that didn't work, well, i'd split my time between the two of them, sometimes i'd go out with the old friend, sometimes with the new friend. If the old friend didn't understand that, well, i'd probably stop hanging with her/him althogether and stick only with the new friend, because that would be a childish behaviour

This is a hard question but I would say that since the first friend has been with you all your life thru good times and bad I would stay with that friend. It will be hard to tell friend 2 about it but they will understand.

I would accept that these two will never be friends themselves because of first friends jealousy and just spend individual time with them. Different friends fulfil different needs anyway, some you may enjoy socialising with outside of the home and others you may enjoy having real one on one indepth discussions with so these people put together aren't always necessarily gonna get along. Tough if first friend doesn't want me to be around my new friend as I make my own choices in life as to who I spend my time with. If they are a true frined they should not be jealous and understand that I am allowed more than just them as a friend in my life. Ellie :D

If i were in this situation I think I would sit down with your old friend and calmly and quietly tell her you will always be her friend but you would love to share more of your life with her and that includes people you work with. You can tell her she needs to find some new intereststoo as you cannot be everything for her or her for you. suggest both of you find some new interests you with a new friend and her with some new interest and then when you do go out as long time friends you will have more to share. It sounds like the old friend does not have other ppursuits and is leaning too much on you her old friend.

Actually I have been in that situation before. But my old friend was not that "old". We knew each other when we were still in high school. But we become close when we were admitted by the same university. At that time, I chose to leave the old friend. I think I true friend would not want to take you as his/her own. A true definitely want your life to be more colorful. And meeting a new friend should not be a problem between you two. That friend probably would not be my friend for that long. I just do not want to be friends of those people. If I were in that situation again, I will do the same. Friends are really important to me.

There is room in my life for more than one friend. If the life long friend has a problem with this, I would be concerned for the following reasons 1) Why did I not realize how selfish this person was before? 2) If this was not happening before what has changed? 3) Is there a valid reason life long friend does not like new friend? - some people are very intuitive about things like this If old friends reasoning could not be validated..then they might have one less friend.

I would make a time for the old friend and myself to have some time together where I could explain to her how important this new friend is. That her and I will always be close friends and my new friend is not taking over my old friends place. I would explain to her that I want very much for her and my new friend to get along and for us to do things together all three. I would have a very serious discussion with her. I would also allow her to give me her thoughts so I could try to see what is bothering her about me being friends with the other person. Then I would give it some time to see if my old friend can come to accept the new friend. If she doesn't come to accept the new friend than I would have to figure a way to spend time with them separately.

i ahev not been in a situation like this since high school, lol...i think what i did then was just go out with the 2 friends separately. If it comes down to it, you end up choosing the more rationsal friend of the two. Sometimes i feel sad i don't have many girl friends anymore...then i read this and i remember why :)