So how do you...
By foxyfire33
@foxyfire33 (10005)
United States
March 25, 2008 1:36pm CST
...get a loved one to eat better? This was sparked by a discussion a friend started about how can people gain so much weight that they are over 500 pounds. One response mentioned how can the loved ones continue to feed them tons of food when they are already obese...
Well that got me thinking? How do you control what another person eats? I mean we're talking about adults here. If they want to scarf down three boxes of twinkies for dessert is it really possible to stop them? Sure I can understand not buying those things for them but what if it's not quite so serious yet and they are still able to do their own shopping?
Like my s/o for example...he eats way too much salt and sugar, drinks too much soda, and has a calorie intake way higher than it should be. He's put on quite a bit of weight and is now nearly 200 pounds with a good sized gut. Plus he doesn't actively exercise. I do the main grocery shopping but if I don't get his salty, high calorie, processed favorites, he just goes and buys them himself, same with soda. So me telling him to eat more healthy and preparing healthy food does no good. So doI just have to wait until he's too wide to fit out the door before I can put him on a diet? LOl
But seriously though, I can see where some of the blame can be placed on caregivers when a person becomes obese but, it's not like it happens overnight so that person had years of bad habits or health problems to put them in that position in the first place.
So what do you think? Can you realistically force another person to eat healthy? Is it always the caregivers fault if a person is obese? Any other thoughts on any of this?
3 people like this
9 responses
@whywiki (6066)
• Canada
25 Mar 08
I'm a fatty. I made myself this way. I eat more calories than I burn. I have been fighting the battle for a long time. I know when I eat something bad I shouldn't but I can't stop myself. If I didn't have moments of clarity I would be 500 pounds! I exercise to counterbalance as much as I can. I know when I was a teen that people would think it was my mother's fault. It wasn't her fault she fed me good healthy meals but just like any addict I found ways to feed my addiction. I couldn't eat a chocolate bar at home but once I was out of sight I could. I didn't get this way overnight but each day I fight the battle and try and turn away from the demons but it just isn't that easy for some of us. I don't blame my hubby either although I am sure people wonder why he let me get like this. He didn't. I did. You can't do anything for anyone else until they want it for themselves. All I know is I am lucky to have people in my life that accept me for who I am and I think your hubby is lucky to have someone in his life that understands this. One day he will stop the addictions as will I but until then your unconditional love is the best thing you can give him.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
26 Mar 08
Thanks so much for the input! My daughter is a little heavy and I was so mad when the school said 'we' needed to do something about it. And the school actually threatened to call CPS on another family who had an overweight child! They totally blamed the parents, it was awful. For both those girls it is more of a genetic issue than an unhealthy eating thing but the result is still the same.
It'snice to hear from someone taking responsibility for their size rather than blaming everything else and maybe someday you will win over your demons but if not, you will have still had a life full of love and family and that's all that should matter anyway.
@rpegan (596)
• United States
25 Mar 08
You can't force someone to change their diet. In the end, that person has to decide to make a change on their own steam. However, you can introduce healthier foods to prove that healthy foods can still taste good.
Just show concern and don't be too forceful. They might take it better that way.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
26 Mar 08
Nice response! But what if that person's health was in jeopardy, do you get forceful then?
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
25 Mar 08
Well I know in my household I can't force anyone to eat healthy because I've tried and am still trying. My husband was recently diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and even though I try not to be overbearing and cook things which are supposedly good for him, when he travels he eats what he eats, doesn't remember to take his medicines and is suppose to take his blood glucose 3x a day in which he only does 1x a day and thinks that is enough. He has also put on more weight 
.
The doctors have since increased his medication from 50mg to 100mg metformin and has seriously told him to stick to the diet plan and exercise regularly or else he could be facing more problems in the very near future.
I was told by one lady I met when I recently joined a diabetes group that I have to "back off" and let him make those choices and if he decides not to follow the plan, then he knows the consequences (sp?) of those choices and that it isn't my fault if he lapses. All I worry about though is whether he will be around longer for my son's sake and that is what scares me the most.
It's sad to say that sometimes something serious has to happen before they see the light and I hope that isn't in our case. 
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The doctors have since increased his medication from 50mg to 100mg metformin and has seriously told him to stick to the diet plan and exercise regularly or else he could be facing more problems in the very near future.
I was told by one lady I met when I recently joined a diabetes group that I have to "back off" and let him make those choices and if he decides not to follow the plan, then he knows the consequences (sp?) of those choices and that it isn't my fault if he lapses. All I worry about though is whether he will be around longer for my son's sake and that is what scares me the most.
It's sad to say that sometimes something serious has to happen before they see the light and I hope that isn't in our case. 1 person likes this
@tracyg719 (31)
• United States
25 Mar 08
Trying to get a loved one to eat better I believe is almost like pulling teeth or at least in my house! My husband is not over weight but has recently been diagnosed with high blood pressure. Apparently, it runs in his family. Anyway, the doc did tell him to try to eat healthier and prescribed him Lipitor. So, I started making little changes, like instead of buying white bread, I buy whole grain bread. We drink soy milk because we're both lactose intolerant. We cut down on fried food, but then again we never ate too much of it anyway. I try to make sure my family eat healthy for the most part but I do have 2 kids so of course you have to buy the chips and ice cream from time to time. We'll when that happens my husband goes for that stuff of course rather than eating a salad!! I tell him he's defeating the purpose and I get a chuckle. Then what do you do?? I don't want to deprive my children, I just would like to keep him around alot longer!
1 person likes this
@NotaBene (111)
•
26 Mar 08
My advice would be to take them shopping with you if possible, and also to get them involved in the cooking process as much as possible. Perhaps even teach them to cook the food by themselves. The key is to get them interested in eating healthily.
Also, frozen fruits can make good alternatives to sweets. Frozen grapes, raspberries, blueberries and blackberries make a delicious sweet treat and will last for over a month in the freezer.
First of all it is important to establish WHY he eats in the way that he does. It is a sad fact that for a lot of people, eating excessively is a way of coping with emotional stress. How is he coping at school/work?
In regards to exercise, try to make it as fun as possible. Is there a specific sport that they enjoy?
If he is into video games, there is also a large number of them that promote exercising including dance games such as Dance Dance Revolution (which is also very addictive) and also Wii Sport which is provided free with the Nintendo Wii console.
The problem that my mother often has with my father is that if he knows that the food is healthy, he will automatically gain the preconception that it won't taste very nice. Don't tell him it's healthy until you know that he likes it!
The final tactic I can suggest isn't the most pleasant of methods, but it can work very effectively; the shock factor! Show them what can happen if he keeps doing what he is doing.
Good luck.:)
@monica_bhalla (1)
•
26 Mar 08
this is very easy to comment others..what they must do and what not to do...but if you apply upon you then it is hard to believe.
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
26 Mar 08
All you can do is provide the healthy foods, you can't make him eat it. Maybe get him to try healthier versions of the junk foods he likes? Alternatives that satisfy the same craving for less calories and fat? There is no real way to control what another grownup eats.
My nephew is over 300 lbs. His abdomen is 60 inches. He is 21 years old. He has some sort of emotional problems and uses food for comfort. He has high blood pressure but just can't seem to control himself. He knows that if he continues this way he will die before he hits 40. He just doesn't care. We can't make him care.
@whittby (3072)
• United States
26 Mar 08
All you can do is continue to cook healthy meals so when he's eating the food you prepared, it isn't contributing even more to the problem. Use the low fat low sugar alternatives without making it obvious, and just do the best you can. Cook healthy for yourself, you can at least take care of you.
whit
@candyandhoney (146)
• China
26 Mar 08
well, you may not force him to eat what you want, even though he is your husband. In my opinion, you may fin other ways to persuade him to eat healthy meal. For instance, you may prepare the delicious food according to your healthy way. In the mean time, the flavour is the same as usual. Plus, you may exercise your body together for fun. You may go to the park in the morning or go out for a stroll after supper. In addition, good mood is also important. After several days' action, perhaps you can find your well-meaning alteration will benifit him day by day and little by little without boring. In the first place, love might improve your husband health condition, coz he will keep a positive attitute for everything and all the time. Best wishes!
